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SCAVENGER HUNT (6-16-07 revision)
©2007charlannshepherd&tracyhreynoldsII

A little girl named Katie Sue played with her friends on a hot summer day.
They went on a scavenger hunt throughout the neighborhood.
The treasures they sought were candy, pop, and toys.
It was a big thrill for all the girls and boys.
Katie Sue always loved a scavenger hunt.

When Katie Sue was a teenage girl she’d sneak out right after mi-id-night.
She went on a scavenger hunt with her new cool friends.
They discovered makeup, CD’s and hot boys.
They were Best Friends Forever making some noise.
Katie Sue always loved a scavenger hunt.

BRIDGE
Scavenger hunts are fun for all ages.
It’s a game never seems to end.

Katie Sue’s a married lady now hunting with candlelight and romance.
Has a scavenger hunt every morning before work.
Her lingerie and clothes thrown every which way,
Do we really have to go to work today?
Katie Sue always loved a scavenger hunt.
It’s a game that never seems to end.
Katie Sue always loved a scavenger hunt.

Hi, Charlann,

Never saw this before the re-write. It's an interesting rhyme, ABCC and ABB chorus. I went to your myspace but couldn't find a link. I really wanted to hear the music you use to fit this scheme. Other than that, I can't find any issues w/ the lyric. Very nice, country, I assume. If it records long, have you thought about maybe dropping a chorus?

Thanks Jim!

I appreciate you taking the time to read my lyric. Right now, it's only a lyric. I was wondering about the length - I think I could probably get away with just doing the chorus after every other verse - what do you think?

Yes, it's definitely country. I was thinking it could be a good Gretchen Wilson style tune.

Right now, I don't have anything but my lyrics on my myspace pate. Hopefully, I'll be able to post some melodies soon.

thanks again!

Charlann

Hey gang!

Here's our latest revision. We tried to cut the length down by eliminating the chorus after every verse. We added the "hook line" as the final line of each verse, and then made what used to be the chorus a bridge before the final verse.

What do you think?

Charlann

SCAVENGER HUNTING

A little girl played with her friends on a hot summer day.
They went on a scavenger hunt throughout the neighborhood.
The treasures they sought were candy, pop, and toys.
It was a big thrill for all the girls and boys.
Scavenger hunts are fun for all ages.

A teenage girl sneaking out in the middle of the night.
She went on a scavenger hunt with her new cool friends.
They discovered makeup, CD’s and hot boys.
They were Best Friends Forever making some noise.
Scavenger hunts are fun for all ages.

She was a college girl with new adventures in the dorm.
The resident council set up a scavenger hunt
On the checklist were junk food, and magazines.
Midnight bonding with her roomies was the scene.
Scavenger hunts are fun for all ages.

By day she’s a working girl, by night she’s out with the girls.
They went on a scavenger hunt ladies night each week.
Their quest was to find single men and some fun.
Happy hour ended, it was time to run.

BRIDGE
Scavenger hunts are fun for all ages.
Girls to women and boys to men.
It’s a game never seems to end.

Even married girls go hunting for candles and romance.
Need a scavenger hunt in the morning before work.
Lingerie and clothes were thrown every which way,
Do we really have to go to work today?
Scavenger hunts are fun for all ages.
Girls to women and boys to men.
It’s a game never seems to end.
It’s a game that never seems to end.

©charlannshepherd&tracyhreynoldsII2007

Wow! You go from V-C-V-C-V-C-V-C-V-C to V(hook)-V(hook)-V(hook)-V-Bridge(mostly hook)-V(hook)-Coda. That's pretty radical surgery w/o a recording for time and overall sound. Maybe it's time to get several recorded options out for crits.

Hi Charlann,

You've got a good idea cooking with this one. Reminds me of a couple women's retreats where the speaker discussed how relationships never stop needing the element of surprise and excitement. Well, the last part reminds me of that. The first few verses seem to be setting up the background for how kids, teenagers, young adults all enjoy games of surprise hunt/chase. So, of course, adults shouldn't think it's so strange that they still need to have some fun with surprises to keep the romance alive. Am I on the same wavelength? If so...

Have you considered giving the characters names in this and making the verses weave a continuous story? Maybe have the girl grow up and find that even though the items used in the scavenger hunt change---the desire for surprise never goes away.

Right now it's reading more like an outline for what you want to be included in a story. <edit> also the girls to women and boys to men phrase doesn't seem to be necessary. I think the story will get the idea across that the games grow as the boys and girls grow. Wish I could come up with more in the way of a solution for you. But, right now this is all I can offer.

Think this is a great idea for a lyric. Good luck!

Vanessa

Thanks Vanessa!

You've given us a lot to think about! I'll see what we can come up with!

Charlann

Hi Charlann,

Thanks for the feedback on my song.

I like how you have changed this to song form A, so it's verses/bridge/verse.

The college scavenger hunt should have some crazier items than the teenage hunt. A toga, raw liver....

You might consider just 'Scavenger hunting' for the last line of each verse...

I know what you mean with the line, 'Girls to women and boys to men', but I don't feel like it adds to the song.

It's a game that never seems to end, is a line that doesn't necessarily give me a positive emotion. Some games get tedious. Could you find another summary statement with an idea something like
No matter what you're looking for
When you go scavenger hunting you will find....

Just thoughts. Might have one too many verses. Fun idea.

Vondelle

Thanks Vondelle!

I appreciate you taking the time to read and crit.

The whole idea came about as a discussion of how even grown ups may have to have a kind of scavenger hunt of their own to find things they have carelessly misplaced. I want to be sure I leave the verse about the adult there, but I'm willing to cut something else out if I can figure out just what to cut!

Charlann

Hi,

Good start here, I think Vanessa had some good suggestions for you.
Good luck.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hey Calvin!

I am so glad you replied to this. I revised it with Vanessa's suggestions a few days ago. It's up at the top!

Thanks for the read!

Charlann

Bumping up to see what folks think of my revisions.

Charlann