JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 Blueberries Are Red When They're Green

Don't ask me. I'm on drugs

Blueberries Are Red When They're Green
©Ben Burton DECEMBER 27, 2007

There's seven brilliant colors in a rainbow
But dark, gray skies can make some people blue
Southern birds stay home to greet the winter
Who wants canaries when there's cockatoos

If we could linger somewhat longer than the morning dew
Maybe there'd be some way to explain
Why seasons pass and feelings change as often as they do
And why blueberries are red when they're green

Remember that chateau up in the mountains
For fifteen days we never saw the sun
Skiing, feasting, sleeping, loving all night long
Who would've believed a year and we'd be done

That video we made in rented costumes
Your Guinevere made my King Arthur blush
Reflections on some mem'ries grand as that one
Leaves room to wonder why those days were hushed

If we could linger somewhat longer than the morning dew
Maybe there'd be some way to explain
Why seasons pass and feelings change as often as they do
And why blueberries are red when they're green

So here's a final toast to what we find
Beyond a life that's better in our dreams
Hoist your glass with mine, filled with boysenberry wine
Since few things in this life are as they seem

If we could linger somewhat longer than the morning dew
Maybe there'd be some way to explain
Why seasons pass and feelings change as often as they do
And why blueberries are red when they're green
If northern birds don't die before it's mid July
They'll find blueberries are blue and ripe and sweet

Dear Ben... I've read...I've enjoyed...and have to run..

Son gets yearbook pictures taken...today.......outside...
and need to be there in ..23 minutes...and I got 3 to get ready..

will be back.... on first read...boysenberry jumped out...
because..that's not a blueberry... My blueberries..are
almost purple blue... are yours red?...

I shouldn't have even commented...was just...glad to see you feeling well enough to post...
will come back......and take more time....to enjoy this and comment....

best to ya...
kk

Ben,
Tight one there bro. Thought for sure this was starting out as a chick song , then ya gone and changed it . Dang!@
Nice tempo too,
Pete

I really liked this. And I hear the riddle in the blueberries comparison to love. Think it's pretty fine writing. And of course, you know I don't say that often. Glad you are well enough to write. (and that's not the reason I'm saying it)

Think it will make a great song.

Vanessa

Someday...I will learn not to comment when I'm not able to take the time...to really look.......

This is quite lovely... Ben.... and the boysenberry wine is lovely...... Fer a once farm raised gal....I need to pay a bit more attention...to my blueberries..(howbeit...I've never claimed
to be the sharpest pencil point...now have I.. :D)...

best to you.....
with hugs,
Kaley....

and FOUR to go!!!

Kaley,
There's a reason I used boysenberry...actually had "elderberry", but it didn't flow...The key is in the next line (I think, doggone-it, I'm posting blind here). Blackberries, obviously, are used in making blackberry wine, so with the change, it's supposed to bring out that few things are really as they appear... or as they would be expected...to be.

Don't know if that makes sense...wish I'd re-read it before responding, but I ain't losing this type. Too tuff!

Hopefully, it'll be clearer (not that it's all THAT clear to begin with!!!;))when you aren't as rushed.
Thanks for the read and the regard for my health. Am better. Hoping to avoid surgery throug antibiotics and diet, if possible.
Ben

Well, looks like "quick reply"'s the way to go, Bro Pete.

Chick-a-boom, Chick-a-boom, don't you just love it. Fooled you, eh, Wats? All modesty aside...I MEANT to do that my good fellow!
You, of course are well aware of my passion for the classics. In this particular instance, my bit of subterfuge was heavily borrowed from one of the grandest of all classics, none other than the great Robert Louis Stevenson's, "Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde".

Many thanks, compadre!
SH

That's very kind, Vanessa. I'm flattered that you liked it, and yes, "got" the blueberry (in the main, at least) part. There are many ways one can interpret this, I think, or that was my intent when constructing it.
Thank you very much. Hope you and yours are doing well, as well!
Ben

Ben,
Glad you are well enough to be on here cranking out more lyrics, answer me one question,while everyone is pattin' you on the back, I'm sitting here wondering why the hook has got me scratchin' my head, instead of saying , man that's great?
Moke

Geez, Moke, I dunno....
Lemme look closely at what you say.

" Glad you are well enough to be on here CRANKING out more lyrics"

Almost seems the opposite of what I want to think your intent is, pal...that you are glad I feel better. Hardly think ONE lyric constitutes "cranking", though.

"answer me one question,while everyone is pattin' you on the back, I'm sitting here wondering why the hook has got me scratchin' my head, instead of saying , man that's great?"

How does one answer a loaded question like this??? First, I hardly think I've been showered with accolades. Pete said, "Tight and nice tempo". Kaley said she enjoyed it. Vanessa was more praiseworthy, but hardly what I deem effusive.

If you're being sincere, I'll tell you that it's a simple fact that when blueberries haven't ripened, they are red in color. Hopefully, you've heard the term "green" applied to things that haven't matured. You ever hear a rookie referred to as green?
That's about it.

EDIT:
That's the fact. The metaphor/story is along the lines of:
These people, one Yankee, the other, southerner. They were young, fell in love. All was hunky-dory....rosy, bright, beautiful, almost like "Fantasyland". It isn't specified, but one was perhaps set in her ways, unyielding...no need to change, "it's all right here". And she only experienced the brilliant, "UP" side of life. So when even a hint of mundane, unpleasantry revealed itself, she opted to cut and run. Had they actually fallen in love? They both thought so. How many tens of thousands of times a day does that happen?...in this country alone! Was it because they jumped in too soon...too GREEN? But even at their current age, had she been better prepared for things that ALL marriages must face, maybe they could have made it past those (basically) minor problems, into maturity (RIPENED) when the love is more likely to grow and sweeten. Obviously, there's zillions of examples where people get divorced after 20+ years of marriage, but, hey, such is life. In that case, I think, it's more often the guy who falls for a young cockatoo....

That's ONE spin. There are others. Oh, the "red" berry isn't what it appears (green), thus the boysenberry....

Ben

Once read that you should never tell someone in a lyric what they already know (with the possible exception of "I love you").

So.. when I read this:
I took you to that chateau in the mountains

It seemed that it might be better to begin the line with:
Remember that chateau in the mountains

Keep or sweep

Ben, I think you need to swap your verses around to have this make more sense and to drive your point home. For example, the verse where he says that the video they made in rented costumes would make a great opening line. I would say video rather than tape, too. Good luck with it.

I'm still not fully understanding the blueberries are red when they're green analogy, though, except that love is just crazy. Is that what you meant????

Good call, Shayne. Changed it.
Thanks,
Ben

Hi Tricia,
I was waiting on feedback regarding the order. Knew I had one V-ch v2 &3-ch, but threw it up anyhow! Video is way better! Thanks.

Lemem try to make this easy.
1) Blueberries begin life as blossoms.
2) In time, they take on the form, albeit smaller, that they'll retain through life.
3) MOST fruits & veggies are GREEN when they aren't ripe, so we kinda started referring to unripe & green synonymously.
4) In it's early stages a blueberry is red, and begins darkening over time as it matures.
5) Though it's never TRULY green (except for traces), I say that using the word "green" as a synonym for "unripened", and in the case of the blueberry it's red until it ripens.

Hope that clears it up.
Ben

Ben,
To clarify, I was concerned about you when I found out you had taken ill,truly concerned, as the symptoms you described could be something bad. Cranking out lyrics was a reference to the fact that you write alot, quite to your credit as I know some hit writers that have told me they write something almost everyday. I usually don't look at the others posts when doing a crit, but to be honest I was a little lost, and what I did read seemed to be that everyone liked the lyric, I read it again and went to you to get the story, you explained the story well, guess I am a bit more mainstream in my approach. Obviously,the embedded meanings are what had me scratching my head, and while asking you to explain was me asking a question, it was also meant to ask yourself one about the lyric, have you come across clearly enough? Regardless I'm glad you are better, you are aren't you? , and keep up the good work, so maybe I wasn't your biggest fan on this one, you're still my bro and I care about you, that's all...Moke

Thanks, Moke
I'm not feeling dead, although my mind's as dull as ever, so I'm merely spending time doofusin' around until I DO know the results of Sunday's tests. Felt better yesterday than today.
It's fairly obvious, the song hasn't resonated with anyone since your comments (I'm not saying BECAUSE of your words! :)).
I really appreciate your concerns, Moke. Makes me feel better.
I'll know something by Monday.
Thanks, buddy.
Ben
EDIT: Better make that...Tuesday!

Hi Ben

As I read this I was a bit unsure of what you were saying as the title made me wonder to begin with...So I'm glad to have all the comments and your explanations. Thanks for those. I'm also really happy to hear you are feeling better and may be able to solve the problem with diet changes. My supervisor had a gall bladder problem and delt with it that way for about 15 years until she finnaly had to have it removed.

What I really like about this was the southern and northern bird references they were a really nice image to touch upon. Even there though I wondered some if I totally got your meaning. This is the thing, though. not every song will immediately speak to everyone. Maybe that's why the so called experts always seem to suggest keeping it simple, so there's more chance for the masses to attach to the song. Your writing is just excellent and pehaps (maybe you are) you should be writing a book too. jm
Best to you in the New Year.

HiDee Bro Ben!

I quite enjoyed the Oxymoronic Title...but V1 had only One Line that I agreed-with, the Gray-Skies-Blue one.. (so I was rapidly-distracted.)

But..ya rapidly got on to What's Really Happening Here, & it was overall Nicely-Nostalgic. Woulda liked MORE Oxymorons in it, for-effect..kinda missed seein'/hearing that Hook on the Way Out, too.

Did Enjoy It, Amigo! Good Luck with this..& more-importantly, with that Health Issue!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hi Ben,

This has a lovely, drug-induced flow and the imagery has my head spinning!

I've read it a few times, trying to pick it apart, figure out how it works for me...and I can't seem to do it! Just like it, that's all!

In the first verse, the two "there's" should be "there are," I believe? Also, canary vs. cockatoo? Well, depends on what you're looking for. The canary song is so lovely. Cockatoos do squawk. But, cockatoos are very, very loving. Canaries are easier to keep -- smaller space. They're not people birds, though. But, cockatoos are prone to psychological problems if you don't pay enough attention to them. It's a toss up, really!

So glad to see you writing again, after your ordeal! It wasn't the same 'round here without you!

Lisa

Ben,

On first read it seemed a little wordy. On second read, it didn't. I pretty much agree with what Stan had to say. The oxymorons used as analogies work great for me. Using Tricia's suggestion for "video" removed any suggestion that it might be dated.

Apparently, though, many folks are not familiar with using the term "green" to refer to anything that is new, unripened or inexperienced, regardless of its legitimate color. That somewhat surprised me. I have heard that reference all my life. It is the title that hooked me into reading it in the first place. I think it is very clever.

Can't get too technical with a critique of this one as it is a style in which i do not typically write. So, will just say that all-in-all, it works well for me. Good luck with it.

Hope the reports on Monday are good news for ya!

Alan

Hiya Ben,

I'm gone for a couple (ok maybe 3) weeks and I miss everything. As I was reading the replies I did learn that you have been under the weather...so first off I want to say I truly hope you are feelin' better my friend. I'll be prayin' for you & the test results. Hope you had a nice Christmas and will have a blessed New Year. With that said...on to the lyric...

First off.... I like it. I love the use of oxymorons also (I recently had a discussion with a student that this has nothing to do with somethin' you call your lil' brother). As for the "green" reference...I "got it" immediately. So the hidden messages are prolly just region oriented a bit...I can see how those who aren't raised in areas where farmin' is a big deal wouldn't catch that right off...but I do believe you did a great job with it and the imagery was dead on. Nice job.


Bree

Hey, JM
That is so sweet of you to say. Thanks. (Ya northern bird, you! :))
I think I prefer (in some cases) lyrics that aren't so simple as to be cut & dried. As long as you're enjoying the melody, you can sort out the (possible) various meanings as your mind's eye sees fit.

Write a book? About birds? Robert Stroud beat me to it! lol Heck, I wouldn't mind writing a book. Gimme a good subject!

Thanks
Ben
ps I ain't waitin' no 15 years!!!

How does this double post thing happen? Couldn't be anything I did!!

Hey StanLee,
Thanks for giving this a look. Say you only agree with one line. Well, the rainbow thing is an unknown quantity so you'd purty much have to disagree with ANY set number. As to the southern birds, weeeellll, that's only spo'sed to be half clever. Obviously, ANY bird is obliged to do some flying, the point being they don't need to migrate. Canary/cockatoo is simply referring to beauty generally winning the day.

I figured I had to work a story into the thing for it to be half-way salable. Don't know as a ceaseless list of oxymorons would do the job.
Glad you enjoyed it anyway and I appreciate your asking over my health.
Ben

Hi Lisa,
Thanks for the kind & encouraging words. So glad you enjoyed it enuff for some re-reads, even without knowing why!

Sure, proper grammar would "they're", but how would that work aurally, which is what counts in a song...

Who wants canaries when there are. Oh, heck, this is gonna lead into one of those meter deals Terry's so fond of. In my head "there are" won't sing there and if you could turn it into a contraction it would sound like it meant:

Who wants to have a canary when it's still a cockatoo?

Besides, how many of these songs use proper grammar. I bet very few outside classical, opera, etc.lol

Well, I'm 'bout done for the day. Hafta catch the other guys crits in the a.m.
Thanks, Lis!
Ben

Hey Alan,
Thanks for your thoughts on this. Yeah, I thought "green" was THE word for immature.
Happy New Year!
Ben

Happy New Year's morn to you, Breesy!
I appreciate your nice thoughts & prayers. Hope to fiond out the verdict tomorrow. It seems much better...not NEARLY as sore.

Didn't think about the agricultural community/region of "green". May be a point (although, I think you'd have to be pretty green not to know )
Hey, that kid could find alot worse things to call the l'il guy!
Thanks, gal.
Ben