Who's Online Now
5 members (bennash, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Everett Adams, Gary E. Andrews), 4,632 guests, and 322 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
"Dwell"
by bennash - 12/06/23 09:28 AM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 12/06/23 09:03 AM
Grove of Pike County
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/05/23 10:33 PM
Railbird Festival, 2024
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/05/23 05:37 PM
Could this be what love is like
by ckiphen - 12/05/23 03:00 PM
Why Should I Care
by bennash - 12/05/23 12:58 PM
Keeping it Cool
by Bill Draper - 12/05/23 12:31 PM
Carla Olson, McCabe's Guitar Shop, Santa Monica
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/05/23 11:41 AM
Don't Call Me
by bennash - 12/05/23 11:10 AM
InCollusion - Ain't it Sad
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/05/23 07:25 AM
Don't Dwell on that
by Bill Draper - 12/04/23 03:41 PM
Lisa Lynn and the Broken Hallelujahs
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 10:24 PM
Life will correct you
by bennash - 12/03/23 07:59 PM
4 Artists
by Guy E. Trepanier - 12/03/23 07:19 PM
Overflowing (2023 Version)
by Gavin Sinclair - 12/03/23 01:42 PM
Vegas Valley Drive
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:36 AM
Bluegrass Barrel House, Richmond, KY
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:31 AM
Hot Club of CDA, Coeur d'Alene
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:13 AM
Snuts
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:01 AM
Boise Blues Society
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 04:55 AM
Matt Warfield, Ventura, CA
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 04:45 AM
Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, Manchester, TN
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/02/23 07:17 PM
A Graveside Flower
by Rob B. - 12/02/23 04:42 AM
Bluebird Music Festival, Boulder
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/01/23 10:24 PM
Musica Mexilachian, Cantina Ixtaccihuatl
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/01/23 05:31 PM
Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/01/23 03:35 PM
redkattseven
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/30/23 08:48 PM
Old Bill Bailey's, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/30/23 06:25 PM
Let's Save Him The Trip
by Fdemetrio - 11/30/23 04:56 PM
Deanna Webb, Steamboat Springs, CO
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/29/23 11:12 PM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,938
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,137
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,913
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
Fdemetrio 4,817
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
nightengale 4,096
Sunset Poet 4,093
E Swartz 3,982
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
JAPOV 3,625
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
VNORTH2 1,187
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,102
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 746
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 715
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 690
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
bennash 570
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
Rob B. 349
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 69
VNORTH2 43
bennash 24
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#442752 08/28/06 02:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
How Broken Hearts Can Be
Copyright 2001 & 2006
M. Zaneski

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=585197

(V1)
First they hide their feelings
one too many times
and blow up little details big
and fail to read the signs
Finally they shatter leaving
only love's debris
now I know how broken hearts can be

(V2)
A thousand little pieces
are way beyond repair
It's almost as if each
has got its own little despair
A thousand little pieces and there
ain't no warranty
now I know how broken hearts can be

(Bridge-Instrumental)

(V3)
They're such delicate organs
you didn't handle mine with care
Love and romance lifted it
and held it in the air
When love let go I fumbled it and--
I wore it on my sleeve
now I know how broken hearts can be

(Bridge)
As broken as the light
passing through this willow tree
Broken as the night
you said you needed to be free
I held mine in my hands as you
walked away from me
then I watched it crumble as
I got up off my knees

(V3 Return)

now I know how broken hearts can be


[This message has been edited by closemike (edited 08-28-2006).]


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 89
U
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
U
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 89
i really liked the lyric.. the song actually matched perfectly to the tone that i imagined when reading it. thats awesome because that rarely happens for me. for some reason i got a little U2-ish vibe from this. would you consider them one of your influences?

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Lyrically I thought well clever (Great Hook) but some dated phrases, but the listen was so pleasant (loved the harmonies) guess it's how you approach familiarity...?

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hey there UE,

In so far as I used some suspended 4th chords--which I always think of as an "Edge" signature. I'm just familiar with their radio tunes mostly.

Most of my songs I can easily identify if I had a particular muse or "singing avatar" in my imagination--this one, I think grew from little scraps of nothing--a line here, a riff there.

My biggest influences in the last 20 years have been Peter Gabriel, Tom Waits, Scott Walker, Nick Cave, Townes Van Zandt, Guy Clark, Mike Oldfield, Keith Jarrett, Joni Mitchell, and about 20 or 30 lesser influences.

Glad you enjoyed it.
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hey there Rittman,

Yeah, thaat willow tree especially could easily go. I'm sure I'll hear about it. [Linked Image]

"Heart on sleeve" and other heart related catchphrases ARE essential to making the case for HOW easily breakable it is.

Glad you enjoyed!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 315
B
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
B
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 315
closemike.
I finally been able to read the recent posts, boy glad I didn't miss this one. I really like the inocence a real love song. I also have listened to your demos you have a strong voice love it.

Brokenwing

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Hi Mike,

2 words.........KNOCKED OUT !


ps------------I voted hot

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
"
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"KUDOS" Bro Mike!

Only One Little Sug:

"And SMEARED It on my sleeve" (K-O-S)

Well-Crafted, Amigo...Definitely a Commercial Lyric, Connects with Many a Soul Out There.

Good Luck wit it, & Happy Monday..I gotta Scoot!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Hi Mike

I like the lyric and flow of the words. Looking forward to hearing it tomorrow at work.
jm : )

[This message has been edited by joice marie (edited 08-28-2006).]


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 996
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 996
Mike,

One sug:

"A thousand little pieces
are way beyond repair"

To avoid repetition in the same verse, maybe try

"All these broken little pieces
are way beyond repair"

Still a great flow to this. I like it.

Dave


"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
I am going with UE on this one. (Didn't look at the other comments)

This lyric 'sang' very well and IMO illustrated perfectly the 'broken hearted' song.

This line, "As broken as the light
passing through this willow tree..."

Is excellant!

Good Job!

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 3,279
B
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
B
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 3,279
Hi Mike,

Enjoyed the song [Linked Image]

Would like to get into the vocals a little sooner but thats just me.

Good luck with a great little song.

Regards
Bill

------------------
Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.


Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 437
E
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
E
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 437
Hi Mike
Great package, well written lyrics, good melody and great singing,
nothin to nic sounded great
Hugs
Eagle


[URL=http://www.soundclick.com/jodydickey]

http:www.myspace.com/jodydickey
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 32
J
Casual Observer
Offline
Casual Observer
J
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 32
I like it Mike, Sounds ummm truthfull somehow ya know?

------------------
JodyWillman

"Plaaay me a little"


JodyWillman

"Plaaay me a little"
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Hi Mike,

Took a look and a listen. Catchy little melody there and I like how you have that pause on the last line after the words "broken hearts" and before "can be". In your lyric sheet I don't see a chorus marked which was the first thing that stuck out to me although when you hear the song it sounds complete.

I also would come in earlier on the instrumental intro if you could or make it a mroe interesting intro that makes you not mind waiting.

Should your title say "Now I Know How Broken Hearts Can Be"?

Good song, like the emotion in the singing.

Best,
Lynn


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,116
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,116
Cool! Really like most all of this, Mike! Only nits:
could possibly shorten the intro, but I don't think it is overly long.
I did not care for the sound of the instrument (organ?) in the "instrumental bridge" ... I think you need a different sound in there ... not a different melody.
Otherwise, I think you did a great job and really enjoyed listening to it!

------------------
Mary Lou
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=61783

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
Hi Mr. Mike,

Wanted to comment how well the phrasing works to set the phrase "how broken, hearts can be" apart. That's what keeps this line from being cliche'. That pause after broken. The emphasis on the word broken works very well.

Also, like the melody too. Can't listen again right now so that's all I remember from an earlier listen. Just a few minutes to post.

v

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Mike,

Took a look and then a listen. Very nice, indeed. Don't find anything serious enough to nit in the lyrics. Thought it told the story quite nicely. A few dated phrases, but not enough to distract from the overall quality of the lyrics.

I also enjoyed the listen. Two commemnts about the noise: (1) Intro just a bit long (2)Just a little less reverb on the voice would make the ennunciation a little more clear.

Gave it a "Hot" vote. Nice job!

Alan

------------------
If I were but half as good as Dawg...I'd be twice as good as most.

Don't take more than your love can buy,
Don't live faster than your angel can fly...
Hal Ketchum

Alan on Soundclick

Alan's Web Site

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi brokenwing,

Glad you're feeling better, and it makes me happy that you enjoyed my song. [Linked Image]

Best wishes,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hey Calvin,

THANK YOU!

All the best,
Mike

(I'm trying to master the art of the 20 word or less reply)


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hey there Tampa!

Thanks for the nice compliment.

I'm not adverse to the "referred to" cliche (wore his heart on his sleeve)put in the form "...and wore IT on my sleeve"
and just the visual of a smmmmeeeeaaaarred heart is kinda--icky to me.

Thanks again,
Mike



[This message has been edited by closemike (edited 08-29-2006).]


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi joice marie,

thanks for stopping by and hope you like the noise!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Dave,

I think there is the "dismay" factor that makes the repetition of that phrase kind of an "i can't believe it" reaction.
But your way's worth testing. [Linked Image]

Glad you liked! thanks again,

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi dougdude!

Thanks, the new light (no pun intended) that got thrown on that tired old willow tree (shards of light passing through it) was a lucky word combo--I remember my brain was fried, and I was trying out various combinations of things with "as broken as.." and somehow got that image.

Best wishes,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Bill,

Yeah, that intro is a bit of a musical "non-sequitur"...I should probably put an 8 bar into that is musically like the first 16 bars--or just swing back and forth between I and vi an couple of times...hmmm......

Thanks for the feedback and best wishes,

MIke


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi EagleDreams2,

Thanks for the kind words!

Mike

just curious--was there an EagleDreams1, and so it said "name already taken" (?)
thought that would be surreally funny...

[This message has been edited by closemike (edited 08-29-2006).]


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Hi Mike

I had a listen earlier today and like it a lot! I would have to say after reading the comments that I agree with Mary Lou about the organ part. Even though it preceeds the word in the lyric (nice idea) it seems it is not the right sound. Maybe a lower octave might work, but keep exploring there. Everything else seems to fit nicely. [Linked Image] jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,027
S
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
S
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,027
Mike,

A very nice listen here. Excellent use of your hook, definately creates a distinctive mood--both lyrically and musically. Very good work.

Keep writing.

Skip

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,806
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,806
Howdy Mike,

I think you are well on your way with this...I liked it a lot. Do have to agree with the others who pointed out that the intro is too long. However, I think the length might be ok if it was more musically interesting. The same with the musical bridge/interlude later on. I also did not care for the organ sound...found it more of a musical distraction than compelling...but your voice, your delivery and prosody are terrific. The other stuff is minor and can be easily fixed.

Best wishes with this one...it is very good IMO!

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Hi Mike

A vote for the organ thing, for me it was perfectly "Frampton"

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 127
M
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
M
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 127
I give it a thumbs up too!
Mark

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Jody W,

Truthful, yes! If only hearts could speak, the tales they'd tell...actually, that would be bad for us writers--we wouldn't feel the need to use metaphors (for them) or turns of phrases anymore--whew! good think they DON'T speak [Linked Image]

all the best,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi LyricalLynn,

I think I'll add a "soloing" instrument over the intro, something "un-Frampton-y" this time. [Linked Image]

Thanks for the nice comments. I hope I can still sing, I am about to try after NOT for 5 or 6 years! I'm nervous...

Best wishes,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Mary Lou,

I'm going to add a soloist over the intro and double the bridge solo with another instrument--perhaps a warm strat lead sound.

...and if that doesn't work out I'll find my archived tracks somewhere amongst the hundreds of cds from the "unmarked" period, lol.

Thanks for listening, and I appreciate your observations!
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Vanessa,

There's alot of space between "hearts" and "can be"...too

When I write I spend alot of time mulling over words in a hook to bring out hidden nuances; indeed my favorite kind of hooks are lines that can be heard in many different ways, depending on context and inflection. Couchgrouch uses this technique to wonderful efect in many of his lyrics as well. (hi grouch!)

Glad you enjoyed it!

see ya,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Alan,

I'm going to add a solo at the beginning that borrows from the hook melody, and hopefully the intro won't feel to long then.

I appreciate your kind words. Take care,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi joice marie,

I was so intent on the vocal production that I did indeed slight the solo parts, so yeah, I'll be looking closer at those when I get a chance.

Glad you enjoyed, and appreciate the crit!
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Skip,

Hey thanks! you've got versatile ears, there. Means alot to me, that you enjoyed, Skip.

Talk again soon,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Bobbie,

I'm gonna try to get away with simply adding to the "final mix" a solo that borrows from the hook melody at the beginning, and an instrumental doubling over the bridge solo.

All the unmixed tracks are on CDs, because when I made this I owned a Korg 16 track hard disk and went the cheap route and archived to a then state-of-the-art Phillips CD Recorder...so in other words I cringe at the thought of "de-archiving" onto my PC sequencer--because it entails "manually syncing things up. Easy enough to do, but VERY tedious and time consuming work!

So yeah, hope to just add to the final mix...

Thanks for the nice compliments.

Best wishes,
Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Rittman,

Frampton scared me when he married "Peny" who looked an AWFUL lot like him!

I was never one to sit around listening to him in the late 70s...what WAS I doing in the late seventies???......hmmmm...............

All the best,
MIke


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi Mark,

Thanks for the smiling Ebert!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 704
B
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
B
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 704
Tight lyrics! Music reminds me of like Gary Wright ("Dream Weaver") meets Pink Floyd. Pretty nice vocal there too. From what I've been reading, 15 second intro max. Good luck with this.
=Bob=

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,512
Likes: 26
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,512
Likes: 26
Nicely done. I think at this point you can only experiment here and there to see what may sound better...but I'd say this is 98% if not more there. Yup, a few "memorable" sounds scattered here and there...

My vote's bd


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa, Jasmine_Kurb
21,469 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,440
Posts1,159,614
Members21,469
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"Talent + Drive + Knowledge = Success" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Dwight Williamson (72), Sue Rarick (2023)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5