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"Dwell"
by bennash - 12/06/23 09:28 AM
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4 Artists
by Guy E. Trepanier - 12/03/23 07:19 PM
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Snuts
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:01 AM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/01/23 03:35 PM
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How Broken Hearts Can Be Copyright 2001 & 2006 M. Zaneski http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=585197 (V1) First they hide their feelings one too many times and blow up little details big and fail to read the signs Finally they shatter leaving only love's debris now I know how broken hearts can be (V2) A thousand little pieces are way beyond repair It's almost as if each has got its own little despair A thousand little pieces and there ain't no warranty now I know how broken hearts can be (Bridge-Instrumental) (V3) They're such delicate organs you didn't handle mine with care Love and romance lifted it and held it in the air When love let go I fumbled it and-- I wore it on my sleeve now I know how broken hearts can be (Bridge) As broken as the light passing through this willow tree Broken as the night you said you needed to be free I held mine in my hands as you walked away from me then I watched it crumble as I got up off my knees (V3 Return) now I know how broken hearts can be [This message has been edited by closemike (edited 08-28-2006).]
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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i really liked the lyric.. the song actually matched perfectly to the tone that i imagined when reading it. thats awesome because that rarely happens for me. for some reason i got a little U2-ish vibe from this. would you consider them one of your influences?
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Lyrically I thought well clever (Great Hook) but some dated phrases, but the listen was so pleasant (loved the harmonies) guess it's how you approach familiarity...?
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Hey there UE,
In so far as I used some suspended 4th chords--which I always think of as an "Edge" signature. I'm just familiar with their radio tunes mostly.
Most of my songs I can easily identify if I had a particular muse or "singing avatar" in my imagination--this one, I think grew from little scraps of nothing--a line here, a riff there.
My biggest influences in the last 20 years have been Peter Gabriel, Tom Waits, Scott Walker, Nick Cave, Townes Van Zandt, Guy Clark, Mike Oldfield, Keith Jarrett, Joni Mitchell, and about 20 or 30 lesser influences.
Glad you enjoyed it. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hey there Rittman, Yeah, thaat willow tree especially could easily go. I'm sure I'll hear about it. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) "Heart on sleeve" and other heart related catchphrases ARE essential to making the case for HOW easily breakable it is. Glad you enjoyed! Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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closemike. I finally been able to read the recent posts, boy glad I didn't miss this one. I really like the inocence a real love song. I also have listened to your demos you have a strong voice love it.
Brokenwing
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"KUDOS" Bro Mike!
Only One Little Sug:
"And SMEARED It on my sleeve" (K-O-S)
Well-Crafted, Amigo...Definitely a Commercial Lyric, Connects with Many a Soul Out There.
Good Luck wit it, & Happy Monday..I gotta Scoot!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Hi Mike
I like the lyric and flow of the words. Looking forward to hearing it tomorrow at work. jm : )
[This message has been edited by joice marie (edited 08-28-2006).]
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Mike,
One sug:
"A thousand little pieces are way beyond repair"
To avoid repetition in the same verse, maybe try
"All these broken little pieces are way beyond repair"
Still a great flow to this. I like it.
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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I am going with UE on this one. (Didn't look at the other comments)
This lyric 'sang' very well and IMO illustrated perfectly the 'broken hearted' song.
This line, "As broken as the light passing through this willow tree..."
Is excellant!
Good Job!
Douglas
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Hi Mike, Enjoyed the song ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) Would like to get into the vocals a little sooner but thats just me. Good luck with a great little song. Regards Bill ------------------ Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
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Hi Mike Great package, well written lyrics, good melody and great singing, nothin to nic sounded great Hugs Eagle
[URL=http://www.soundclick.com/jodydickey]
http:www.myspace.com/jodydickey
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I like it Mike, Sounds ummm truthfull somehow ya know?
------------------ JodyWillman
"Plaaay me a little"
JodyWillman
"Plaaay me a little"
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Hi Mike,
Took a look and a listen. Catchy little melody there and I like how you have that pause on the last line after the words "broken hearts" and before "can be". In your lyric sheet I don't see a chorus marked which was the first thing that stuck out to me although when you hear the song it sounds complete.
I also would come in earlier on the instrumental intro if you could or make it a mroe interesting intro that makes you not mind waiting.
Should your title say "Now I Know How Broken Hearts Can Be"?
Good song, like the emotion in the singing.
Best, Lynn
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Cool! Really like most all of this, Mike! Only nits: could possibly shorten the intro, but I don't think it is overly long. I did not care for the sound of the instrument (organ?) in the "instrumental bridge" ... I think you need a different sound in there ... not a different melody. Otherwise, I think you did a great job and really enjoyed listening to it! ------------------ Mary Lou http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=61783
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Hi Mr. Mike,
Wanted to comment how well the phrasing works to set the phrase "how broken, hearts can be" apart. That's what keeps this line from being cliche'. That pause after broken. The emphasis on the word broken works very well.
Also, like the melody too. Can't listen again right now so that's all I remember from an earlier listen. Just a few minutes to post.
v
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Mike, Took a look and then a listen. Very nice, indeed. Don't find anything serious enough to nit in the lyrics. Thought it told the story quite nicely. A few dated phrases, but not enough to distract from the overall quality of the lyrics. I also enjoyed the listen. Two commemnts about the noise: (1) Intro just a bit long (2)Just a little less reverb on the voice would make the ennunciation a little more clear. Gave it a "Hot" vote. Nice job! Alan ------------------ If I were but half as good as Dawg...I'd be twice as good as most. Don't take more than your love can buy, Don't live faster than your angel can fly... Hal Ketchum Alan on Soundclick Alan's Web Site
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Hi brokenwing, Glad you're feeling better, and it makes me happy that you enjoyed my song. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) Best wishes, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hey Calvin,
THANK YOU!
All the best, Mike
(I'm trying to master the art of the 20 word or less reply)
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hey there Tampa!
Thanks for the nice compliment.
I'm not adverse to the "referred to" cliche (wore his heart on his sleeve)put in the form "...and wore IT on my sleeve" and just the visual of a smmmmeeeeaaaarred heart is kinda--icky to me.
Thanks again, Mike
[This message has been edited by closemike (edited 08-29-2006).]
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi joice marie,
thanks for stopping by and hope you like the noise!
Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Dave, I think there is the "dismay" factor that makes the repetition of that phrase kind of an "i can't believe it" reaction. But your way's worth testing. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) Glad you liked! thanks again, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi dougdude!
Thanks, the new light (no pun intended) that got thrown on that tired old willow tree (shards of light passing through it) was a lucky word combo--I remember my brain was fried, and I was trying out various combinations of things with "as broken as.." and somehow got that image.
Best wishes, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Bill,
Yeah, that intro is a bit of a musical "non-sequitur"...I should probably put an 8 bar into that is musically like the first 16 bars--or just swing back and forth between I and vi an couple of times...hmmm......
Thanks for the feedback and best wishes, MIke
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi EagleDreams2,
Thanks for the kind words! Mike
just curious--was there an EagleDreams1, and so it said "name already taken" (?) thought that would be surreally funny...
[This message has been edited by closemike (edited 08-29-2006).]
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Mike I had a listen earlier today and like it a lot! I would have to say after reading the comments that I agree with Mary Lou about the organ part. Even though it preceeds the word in the lyric (nice idea) it seems it is not the right sound. Maybe a lower octave might work, but keep exploring there. Everything else seems to fit nicely. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/wink.gif) jm
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Mike,
A very nice listen here. Excellent use of your hook, definately creates a distinctive mood--both lyrically and musically. Very good work.
Keep writing.
Skip
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Howdy Mike,
I think you are well on your way with this...I liked it a lot. Do have to agree with the others who pointed out that the intro is too long. However, I think the length might be ok if it was more musically interesting. The same with the musical bridge/interlude later on. I also did not care for the organ sound...found it more of a musical distraction than compelling...but your voice, your delivery and prosody are terrific. The other stuff is minor and can be easily fixed.
Best wishes with this one...it is very good IMO!
Hugs, Bobbie
They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you. Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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Hi Mike
A vote for the organ thing, for me it was perfectly "Frampton"
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I give it a thumbs up too! Mark
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Hi Jody W, Truthful, yes! If only hearts could speak, the tales they'd tell...actually, that would be bad for us writers--we wouldn't feel the need to use metaphors (for them) or turns of phrases anymore--whew! good think they DON'T speak ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) all the best, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi LyricalLynn, I think I'll add a "soloing" instrument over the intro, something "un-Frampton-y" this time. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) Thanks for the nice comments. I hope I can still sing, I am about to try after NOT for 5 or 6 years! I'm nervous... Best wishes, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Mary Lou,
I'm going to add a soloist over the intro and double the bridge solo with another instrument--perhaps a warm strat lead sound.
...and if that doesn't work out I'll find my archived tracks somewhere amongst the hundreds of cds from the "unmarked" period, lol.
Thanks for listening, and I appreciate your observations! Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Vanessa,
There's alot of space between "hearts" and "can be"...too
When I write I spend alot of time mulling over words in a hook to bring out hidden nuances; indeed my favorite kind of hooks are lines that can be heard in many different ways, depending on context and inflection. Couchgrouch uses this technique to wonderful efect in many of his lyrics as well. (hi grouch!)
Glad you enjoyed it!
see ya, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Alan,
I'm going to add a solo at the beginning that borrows from the hook melody, and hopefully the intro won't feel to long then.
I appreciate your kind words. Take care, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi joice marie,
I was so intent on the vocal production that I did indeed slight the solo parts, so yeah, I'll be looking closer at those when I get a chance.
Glad you enjoyed, and appreciate the crit! Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Skip,
Hey thanks! you've got versatile ears, there. Means alot to me, that you enjoyed, Skip.
Talk again soon, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Bobbie,
I'm gonna try to get away with simply adding to the "final mix" a solo that borrows from the hook melody at the beginning, and an instrumental doubling over the bridge solo.
All the unmixed tracks are on CDs, because when I made this I owned a Korg 16 track hard disk and went the cheap route and archived to a then state-of-the-art Phillips CD Recorder...so in other words I cringe at the thought of "de-archiving" onto my PC sequencer--because it entails "manually syncing things up. Easy enough to do, but VERY tedious and time consuming work!
So yeah, hope to just add to the final mix...
Thanks for the nice compliments.
Best wishes, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Rittman,
Frampton scared me when he married "Peny" who looked an AWFUL lot like him!
I was never one to sit around listening to him in the late 70s...what WAS I doing in the late seventies???......hmmmm...............
All the best, MIke
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Mark,
Thanks for the smiling Ebert!
Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Tight lyrics! Music reminds me of like Gary Wright ("Dream Weaver") meets Pink Floyd. Pretty nice vocal there too. From what I've been reading, 15 second intro max. Good luck with this. =Bob=
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Nicely done. I think at this point you can only experiment here and there to see what may sound better...but I'd say this is 98% if not more there. Yup, a few "memorable" sounds scattered here and there...
My vote's bd
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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