JPF Home Page Forums Musician Gear and Techniques Bass and Drum Forum How to make a guitarist play softer?

Q. How do you make a guitarist play softer?

A. Place some sheet music in front of him!

A guitarist and a bassist have a gig as a duet. At the soundcheck, the guitarist says, "There's something wrong, can you go out and listen?"

The bassist puts down his bass, walks out into the room and says, "Sounds fine to me."

The guitarist says, "I'll go out and listen".

The guitarist then puts down his guitar and walks out into the room, after listening for a while he frowns and says, "Too much bass."



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Mike Dunbar Music

Wear earplugs.

Unplug his/her rig from the amp...
Unplug amp from wall...(pretend the amp is broken)..

...and then the guitarist was really P.O.'ed at the bassist because the bass player had re-tuned one of his guitar strings - and wouldn't tell him which one....



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Larry
www.audibleresponse.com

At a rehearsal, the conductor stops and shouts to the bass section: "You are out of tune. Check it, please!" The first bassist pulls all his strings, says, "Our tuning is correct: all the strings are equally tight." The first violist turns around and shouts, "You bloody idiot! It's not the tension. The pegs have to be parallel!"

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one -- he holds on to the bulb and the world revolves around him.

After a shipwreck, a suvivor washes up on an uncharted island. Some of the native people find him on the beach and take him to their village.

When he awakes, he realizes what happened and thanks the natives for rescuing him.
"Our pleasure," says one of the natives (who, fortunately for the joke, speak English.)

The man notices that off in the distance someone is playing what sounds like a large number of drums, and he asks why.

The native he was speaking to gets a frightened look on his face and says in a whisper, "We don't like to talk about the drums. When the drums stop, the bad thing happens."

So the man tries to ignore the drums, but he can't. What's the "bad thing?" He's the stranger ... what if the "bad thing" targets him?

A week goes by, and he can't eat, he can't sleep, he's losing weight and constantly listening to the drums day and night, afraid they're going to stop.

Every time he asks one of the villagers they repeat what the first one said: "Don't talk about the drums. When the drums stop, the bad thing happens."

Finally, he can't stand it anymore and goes to see the village chief. He falls to his knees. "Please," he wails. "I so afraid. I can't sleep or eat -- I'm going crazy. Can't you tell me what the bad thing is?"

"Bass solo."

Three of us in my band play both guitar and bass. A joke for each. Forgive me if you've heard them.

when he plugs in his stomp boxes step on his fingers. I swear it was an accident.