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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Where Did I Go Right 2005 © Chuck Crowe In cards and love I had always been cursed My palms were sweating I was fearing the worst You spun the room When you smiled at me first My heart turned balloon It was ready to burst Was it something I said, or something I’d done That made you pick me over everyone It’s been this question in my mind every night I wanna know where did I go right One house, four cars And three kids down the road I’m still uncertain Why I’m the one you chose Was it something I said, or something I’d done That made you pick me over everyone The question that keeps me awake every night I wanna know where did I go right Been counting my blessings But it’s like counting stars Funny how my best times Are wherever you are Wasn’t something I said, it’s something I’ve done I know why you picked me over everyone Gonna rest easy for the first time tonight ‘cuz lovin’ you was where I went right Lovin’ you was where I went right Lovin’ you was where I went right ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Too mooshy? Too...? dunno. You tell me. Thanks. Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Uncle Chuck, This is just down right good! I particularly like your last verse. It's not flashy or catchy...it's just right. It sums up the guy's feelings quite well. And, I really, really like this line..."And my heart turned balloon". Now, that's just good stuff, my friend. Unless you have a bad case of arthritis, reach around and pat yourself on the back several times. This is a really nice lyric. BTW, you're going to leavge the "nit finders" unemployed with this lyric. Best of luck with it. Alan ------------------ If I were but half as good as Dawg...I'd be twice as good as most. http://www.soundclick.com/alanddavid
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Awwwww, Uncle Chuck!! That's so romantic. Let me know when you get this one "noised". ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Hello Chuck, Really really nice. Love can't get too mushy Let us hear it ! Wicked Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewartmusic.htm [This message has been edited by Calvin (edited 02-01-2005).]
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Hi Chuck,
Well, I can usually find "something" to nit or at least what I think is a nit, but in this case I didn't find any.Maybe someone else can. I'm a failure as a nitter <G>
That's good writing Chuck. My compliments
WY
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chuck.... i can't remember having read one of your songs... this is a first. where did i go right is super for the theme. i think that the verses leading up to the chorus' have been done to death though. try writing this from the chorus' out.... be original and incorporate fresh words and thoughts. please STAY with the chorus progression though... i love that when a song's last chorus switches to first person or answers the question of the song. hope you don''t mind my comments... just trying to help!! scotty
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Hi ya Uncle Chuck....Love this...... really smooth writing..put to a super nice hook.....and t'was such a nice "lesson"...on ...keeping verses patterned ... oh ..........so ...........close ...... can just hear your music...playing..... best to you...this evenin' Kaley
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Hey Alan! Very nice of you to say so! I'm actually figuring on making that last part the bridge. But if you liked it, it doesn't matter which piece it is as long as it fits! Thanks again! Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Howdy Ms. Tricia! Yeah, not sure what got into me. Must be 'cuz Doc's outta town for 3 weeks: Hawaii, then Vegas, then Tahoe skiing. Man, wish I could get a tour like that! It's loneliness, jealousy, or the flu. I can't decide what caused this though. I haven't figured on noise yet, 'cuz whenever I noise before nitting, I end up having to scrub the noise or the whole song outright. Playin' it safe. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/wink.gif) Thanks for readin' & likin'! Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Howdy Wy, Well, that's a real honor coming from you! I admit I am very, very tenuous about my lyrical ability. I have no confidence in this area so your kind words are greatly appreciated! Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Hey Scotty! Yeah, I admit I'm really more of a board-skulker and a musiker than a lyricist. I have to post a lyric around here once in a while to keep it honest, though. Otherwise I get complaints... ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/tongue.gif) But it's a very rare occurrence... In fact, I'm such a lyric-novice, that I don't really understand what 'chorus-out' writing might entail. All I know is I had the line: "I wanna know where did I go right" percolating for a couple of days. So I had to stick it somewhere or I'd get a headache from it... ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/biggrin.gif) Thanks for being straight with me! I can use all the help I can get! Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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HiDee Unkie!
Sideguy already said it ALL for Me, there's nothin' to Nit at all here, Amigo!
GREAT Hook..& I KNOW it's gonna have Great Guitar & Vocs!
"KUDOS" Amigo!~ (You got "3 kids"? Congrats on that TOO!)
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
PS: Got your Fine Raw-Demo & am in Rewrite on Lyrics again..bear with me!
Thanks Again, Chuckster!
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Howdy Stan! I appreciate the kudo! Actually, I have only 2 kids. Tho' sometimes it feels like 10... I plead artistic license. I wanted the singer to have a little more 'mileage' so to speak. Glad to hear the demo arrived. Hope the melody/chord structure was cool. Looking forward to the rewrite... Thanks!! Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Wow - Uncle Chuck! I love everything about this! For someone who says they're not a lyricist, you've sure come up with some great lines here! I can't wait to hear you sing it!
Diane
Mz Bernie Taupin looking for her Elton John??
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Hey there Unca Chuck,
From the perspective of this notorious nitpicker...I gotta admit, like Wy, that I simply do not find any in this lyric. In fact, I think it is ready for music NOW!! I want to hear it when you have it going.
And thanks to you and your family for remembering me with your card. That was very special to me.
Hugs,
Bobbie
They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you. Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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Looks pretty good, Chuck! I did feel like you could cut down some words in the chorus ... the last two lines seem too wordy and you could cut out the superfluous words to get down to this: "I question every night Where did I go right" ... 'course since your chorus changes a bit each time, that would mean some editing to each one ... but as always, just my thoughts. I think this is pretty darn good though! I'm sure you will come up with great music for it, my friend! Hope you are in good health again! ------------------ Mary Lou http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/mlsudkampmusic.htm [This message has been edited by carrgirl1115 (edited 02-02-2005).]
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Uncle Chuck,
Liked this one a bunch , like everyone else! Not as a nit , but ; as a suggestion:
THIS QUESTION'S BEEN ON MY mind every night
As I said , it wasn't a nit , just a different dish on the menu.
Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today
to write lyrics that rhyme
and if we succeed, they'll end up in time
as tommorrow's cliche's...
Pete
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Do me a favor, Chuck..
When you're working on the music for this, try editing some of the words a bit..
I think it'll be easier to do as you're playing it down..
They look OK on the page but I think you might want to trim a bit.
I find it's easier to do while I'm assembling a melody..
Your music is always solid and I think it'll work to your advantage.
Great idea here and this could be a really good song.
Bob
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Hi Mary Lou! Yeah, the wordiness in the chorus came down to two issues: 1) I wanted separation from the verses and 2) I was using a different melody/meter to build the choruses from. Since I will need a new melody anyhow, maybe a new chorus is in order. Thanks for stopping in. Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Hey Bob! Thanks for looking at this one for me! It seems that I need a re-tool in the chorus. Maybe a new melody for the chorus will lead me in the right direction... As always, thanks for your help! Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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How about this for last 2 lines of first chorus: This question taunts me every night Where did I go right? second chorus: This question wakes me in the night Where did I go right? Last chorus Yeah, I'll finally rest easy tonight Lovin' you is where I went right 'Course that last line is just a squinch longer than the other two last lines and not sure how that would work out with your melody. No real big changes here but trying to condense those lines a smidge. Just some thoughts for ya ... I'm no expert, so take with a grain of salt if you like. ------------------ Mary Lou http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/mlsudkampmusic.htm
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Very solid, Chuck. Great to see you here again. Oddly enough, the one line I wasn't crazy about was the one Alan liked the most-- "my heart turned balloon." I love the thought, but there's gotta be a smoother way to say it. "Heart became a balloon"? I dunno. Great stuff all in all, though. Good luck with it. Anthony
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Hi Chuck, I read this lyric and got to thinking, Why have we never collaborated on a song before?? One of these days we will have to do that! Oh and on this lyric--Just picture me standing:
CLAP-CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
SEE IDA'S RED PALMS!!!!
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A good 'n Chuck. I hate when you good musician guys get good at lyrics too. Pretty soon, you won't need us lyricists at all . I'm not crazy about the 'balloon' line, but the rest of this is very solid and exceptionally commercial. Good luck with it! Corey
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Hey Anthony! Great to see you here too! I dunno, that's kind of the way I speak anyhow. I needed a certain syllabic pattern, so I went with that. If you got the meaning I don't know what more I could ask. But I thank you for your compliment & for checking this out! Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Wow! My first standing ovation!! Thanks Idamarie! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/redface.gif) I'd be honored to work on something with you sometime. I just figured, you being the music whiz you are, you didn't need anybody like me! Thanks again! Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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I thank you Corey! Coming from a talented guy like you that's really nice to hear. Not sure what to do about the balloon now. I kinda liked it. Then again I was the one who conned Tink into keeping the word "normalcy" in our song "Stranger Among Our Old Friends" against all better advice. I'll think on it. BTW, "Wisteria" has been going over very well of late... Thanks! Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Yeah Unca Chuck... works for me too.... I'd like to hear the finished product..... betcha its not going to sound like "the heat"
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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I haven't been around much but, ooh, boy, gotta tell you Chuckie, this one is dead center bullseye good 'n perfect! Too mushy? Not! Loved every syllable. Not a nit! Now get along and Musicize it!
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I HEARD that! And I admire you for it. I remember how everyone hated "normalcy" and you stuck to your guns! Whataguy!! I really like the simplicity of this one. You haven't used any unnecessary words and have painted a really sweet portrait of when things finally go right! I especially liked this: Been counting my blessings
But it’s like counting starsThat is SO cool! And the balloon part didn't bother me a bit...good way to put it! Can't wait to hear it!! Tink
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