JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Full Summer Moon - my first jazz piece

I'd appreciate some critique from anyone with a little jazz know-how. I've never written anything jazzy before and I got ripped apart at Broadjam. I'd sure like to know what I have done both wrong and right.

Just click the link and then click Full Summer Moon.Thanks for your time.

http://www.hugheymusic.com/music.html

Hey there Rod,

I don't know what the folks at broadjam had to say, I can only imagine. They've said some pretty amazingly funky things about my piece too.

But let's focus on you. There is no right or wrong when there is nothing to measure it by. I mean, what is it you are trying to accomplish? Is this a demo. Is this a rough draft of something more to come later on? Is this the final product. See what I mean?

Okay, this is what I thought as I listened. It sounded like you were getting some ideas for a tune you'd be developing. You didn't want the ideas to get away from you so you laid down just a real basic chord structure. It's as though you were only concentrating on one part of the piece rather than offering this recording as the whole completed piece.

Now on the other hand if this was in fact the final draft I am of a different opinion. May I offer that it is too one dimensional to be offered as completed or finished piece. It lacks depth.

Now if this is your very first time writing something jazzy, don't forget about the other elements of composition that can be used to color your composition. Chords, dynamics, intrumentation, tempo, key signatures, modulation and the list goes on.

I like what you are doing with your axe. But spend even more time recording yourself on those chords and other chords. Make numerous copies of yourself creating different riffs, motiffs and the such. After say three hours worth = Maybe 10 - 12 takes of the length you have on line, take a listen and make notes. Be very critical. Take risks on your solos. Make yourself work. Struggle until it just flows like water.

I hope my reply has helped you some. And don't worry about Broadjam. They don't have the background about you or your skills. You never know whose listening. So always put your best out there and make sure that you feel really good about it before you do or if you don't feel that you've done your best don't expect others to feel that you've done your best either.

You've got some tasty guitar stuff happening. Keep it coming. Play man. Play!

You might want to take a listen to "Give It To Me" on my soundclick page.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/lattetatheresamusic.htm
http://www.latteta.com

Latteta

Hey Rod,
It sounds to me like you have a good idea to develope. There are some rough spots in your playing which takes away from the energy of what you are trying to present.
I have never been a real fan of jamming, I get bored I need structure personally so my opinion is slanted. YOu have some nice licks there keep at it. Joy

Thanks for the feedback - both of you. You have been helpful in influencing my focus and attention to things I may not have otherwise looked at.

Latteta, especially. I thank you for the time you put into this request. Like I said, I have never written any jazz before. On top of that, I haven't had any instruction either. I guess mky only influence really is just listening to the "Night Beats" or similar jazz programs on the radio.

What happened was that I was just putzing around one day on the guitar and the basic chord structure and rhythm came to me. I played it over and over for months in practice and it really disturbed me that I wasn't getting anywhere with it. I took it to my dad and he started playing around with the melody (lead) and we took it from there. Listening to it made me feel good, I knew it had a groove, and being I wanted to have a couple extra tracks on my first CD project, I decided to use it. No big deal for the first CD, as I did the recording and production with the help of a friend and it was more a learning experience than anything else. But after posting it on Broadjam and getting some of the responses I got, I started thinking a little deeper about it. Maybe I should expand it or do something else with it to improve it. I like the basic jist of it, like I said, I think it has a good groove.

Keeping that in mind, I thought it might be wise to get some honest feedback here. This particular peice has lead my interest in creating jazz to a higher level...I want to work towards making some quality pieces in Jazz, but alas I am thoroughly in my infancy when it comes to this genre.

I guess the first step is to listen to more material and listen more intently.

Thanks.

Rodney

Hi Rod .Glad your back .Hey your an awesome person and have a positive vibe.Like your tunes.Keep up yhe good work.

Thanks for the kind words Mike - it's nice to be back.

After a crazy nomadic Alaskan summer, I found my way back to the grid, alas, only to go live on a glacier this summer. I'll be back in town (not sure which one) on the weekends though, and hopefully won't miss another JPF beat. I sure missed this place over the last few months.

Thanks again.

Cheers,

Rodney

Hmm.. I always wanted to wander around Alaska one day - you lucky SOB. Anyway, this song did sound kind of aimles. When it's just one artist making the song jazz NEEDS just as much structure as a Nashville Country tune. Ensembles can go all over the dang place for thirty minutes at a time and not exhaust their creativity or their audience's patience (if they're good). Just one guy gets tired (in every sence of the word) pretty quickly. I think you need to just write a song and don't write lyrics. Then do one verse/chorus system as if the guitar were the vocalist, THEN go crazy, THEN come back to the them at the end. It's an age old method because it works.

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Capers Simmons, Assistant Moderator at the Muse's Muse Music and Lyric Critiques Forum

Insert hackneyed "insert signature here" signature here

My Music at SoundClick.com

Hiya Skido85 -

Thanks for the visit and the advice, my friend. It makes a lot of sense. I have had feedback here anf from a couple of accquaintances and all things seem to point in the same direction. And you know - that direction is the same as where the music is telling me to go.

And that's just the thing....jazz *IS* the music that seems to take you on a journey. I see things so much clearer than when I forst posted this and I owe you - everyone whos taken thier precious time to lend a nit or two. That means a lot to me. Mucho Gracias, mi amigo!

As far as wandering around Alaska one day, I advise you to take a lot longer than a day! I came here in April of 2001 for a seasonal summer job and just never left - I never stopped traveling the state and taking advantage of what it has to offer either. This place has changed my life and I honestly KNOW that it is the crown jewel of the US of A. I hope you get a chance to check it out too one day. Just do it on your own - don't do the Princess/Carnival/Royal Celebrity statewide human-herding Alaskan rodeo. Do it on your own.

Much obliged for the time and the wisdm.

Cheers,

Rodney