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#163332 - 02/12/06 09:57 PM Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,186
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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If you've never been here http://www.theonion.com/ you have to visit. It's a great site for laughs


NASHVILLE, TN—The interstate trucking industry, already beset with rising fuel prices and a shortage of qualified workers, was dealt another blow last month, with the release of the agonizingly sorrowful country ballad "She's Gone Back To What She Calls Home," by Cole Hardin.


Memphis-area traffic slows to a near-standstill as WGKX plays "She's Gone Back To What She Calls Home."
"At any given time, day or night, an estimated 45 percent of the nation's over-the-road truckers are idling on the shoulder, in waysides, or in truck-stop parking lots, listening to Mr. Hardin's ballad of infidelity, loss, and heartbreak," said Russell Knutson, a spokesman for trucking giant Schneider National. "There's been an alarming number of loads that don't make it to their destinations. And the ones that do make it are usually behind schedule, because they're being loaded, transported, and unloaded by crews brought low by the thought of a good-loving woman a man loves best packing everything up but her wedding dress and going back to the town she never should've left."


"'Scuse me a moment," Knutson said. "Sorry, but I must've gotten something in my eye just then."


Performance figures for the entire North American continent have suffered since the May 14 radio release of the "She's Gone Back" single, from the album Fenced In Heart. Last week, the Department of Transportation reported business volume down 60 percent, manifest damage up 9 percent, and worker productivity down across the board, as drivers complain of heartache, loneliness, and the she-ain't-never-comin'-back-again blues.


"This isn't an easy job, no sir," said Arrow Trucking Company driver Wayne Crudup, 33, of Lexington, KY. "Long hours, tougher regulations every year, and lots less money than you'd like. Now, on top of that, I can't stop thinking of how that lady left that little home and that poor guy all alone, all because his eye went wanderin' where it never shoulda been. The song starts going round and round in your head, and it gets a touch hard to see the road sometimes."


National Surface Transportation Board statistics have shown a clear link between the playing of "She's Gone Back" on public airwaves and lulls in the trucking industry. The effects are especially noticeable in the South and Midwest.


"Unfortunately, country-radio stations nationwide have 'She's Gone Back' in heavy rotation," NTSB spokesman Howard Stivoric said. "The steel guitar's wail invokes that cold, hard, lonely road she's taking back to where her heart'll stop breaking, and, well, that makes anyone who hears it want to turn right around and get on back to where they came from. For a country that transports 85 percent of its perishable goods by truck, a heartbreaking ballad like this one is bad news."


Due to the song's popularity, the average trucker is spending as many as three hours per day sitting motionless in the breakdown lane. Travelers on the nation's highways are growing accustomed to seeing dozens of semis pull over to the side of the road whenever the song is played.


"We're especially worried about routes through trucking's Golden Triangle: Atlanta, Memphis, and Nashville," National Highway Traffic Safety administrator Dr. Jeff Runge said. "The high volume of country stations in that area, many of which confess to playing the song almost hourly, has created a depression hot-spot. Almost nothing's getting into or out of that area."


Fearing for the financial and emotional safety of their workers, industry leaders have asked President Bush and the FCC to remove the song from the airwaves, as President Carter did during the "He Stopped Loving Her Today" crisis of 1980.


Hardin, the singer responsible for the problem, was unavailable for comment, as he is currently in his hometown of Green Hills, SC, caring for his dying mother and writing "She Taught Me How To Love," a tribute to her 46 years of service as a devoted wife and parent.


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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#163333 - 02/12/06 10:38 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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Graham Henderson (D) Offline
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Esperance. West Australia
That is so sad John.
Not the post.
Heck. They don't stop the traffic, they just ain't a song.
The fact the bloke is writing one of the same title I have had out for years.
And he will probably beat me to making a hit with it because of all the PR this post gets him.
Please delete this post Brian so an outsider doesn't have an unfair advantage ove a JPFer of long standing.
Thanks for the heads up John.
Graham

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#163334 - 02/13/06 12:17 AM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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Brian Austin Whitney Offline
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It's satire Graham.. in case you missed the point.

Brian


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#163335 - 02/13/06 01:15 AM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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Graham Henderson (D) Offline
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LOL. No I didn't John.
Graham

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#163336 - 02/13/06 07:33 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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Greg C. Brown  Offline
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Great! I manage a truck weighing station for the state. I wonder if truckers will now be flocking to my already crowded parking area VOLUNTARILY receiving overweight citations just so they can sit and cry for a few minutes. LOL


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#163337 - 02/14/06 03:42 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Graham, I think you should outsmart this tear evoking traffic stopper and revise your title to

"She taught me how to love and leave"

because while he's busy with what she's done in life, you can take it to the next level.


....just a thought to calm you down ...


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

My Youtube Channel <<<>>> iAccountant
#163338 - 02/14/06 09:38 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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Posts: 13,618
Graham Henderson (D) Offline
Graham Henderson (D)  Offline

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Esperance. West Australia
LOL. Thanks John (making sure I type the right name this time. Sory Brian), Good idea.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhenderson_music.htm

#163339 - 02/14/06 11:04 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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Mike Dunbar Offline
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Mike Dunbar  Offline
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Gort, Klatu verada nikto TWANG!

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#163340 - 02/22/06 11:00 AM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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wordfella Offline
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wordfella  Offline
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Too funny!

Chris


Chris
#163341 - 02/22/06 11:00 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
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lizzorn Offline
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Morrow, Ohio USA
Too funny, and they ran the King of the Hill, trucking episode today....again.....
on Fox.......
I always watch that show at 5:30... instead of the local news. I hate the news....
So I missed the coverage of the backup on I-75.
Bummer,
I'll try to watch at 11:00
Wait a minute...., no I watch Charlie Rose at 11:00
unless of course, he has politicians on....
I don't like them either.

Wait another minute!
Now I know why my package has been delayed. Looked for it all day today.
Leave it to country music to pull a radical stunt. those extremists will do just about anything.

L.

#163342 - 02/22/06 11:48 PM Re: Sorrowful Country Ballad Cripples Trucking Industry  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 13,618
Graham Henderson (D) Offline
Graham Henderson (D)  Offline

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Esperance. West Australia
Talking about crazy country stunts.
I am about to send my parody of Crazy to Willie.
Doing a "to it's own tune" version so I can post it without being sued.
Graham

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