JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback A.I. Assisted Music Forum A Ladder With A Million Rungs

My first AI , So I wrote a lyric and run it through suno, I made a few mistakes, but here it is
all the best John


https://www.mureka.ai/song-detail/YNXLPotqu7X7sUbRS3Epbh?is_from_share=1

A Ladder With A Million Rungs.

The silence weighed heavy
As she gathered her things
I was motionless
Like a puppet with severed strings,
Her new love was waiting
Parked by the street sign
Losing her has left me
With my steepest climb

I’m on a ladder with a million rungs
Climbing to break free
Trying to rise above
Her spell on me,
She captured my heart
And stole the breath from my lungs
But she left me stranded
On a ladder with a million rungs.

I stood by the window
Watching them drive away
Trembling and weeping
Wishing I’d begged her to stay,
But her cold conviction
Froze the blood in my veins
My precious memories
Are now bitter stains.

Bridge
I can’t hide my despair
The news is all over town
When friends ask how I’m doing
I say
Two steps up and one step down

I’m on a ladder with a million rungs
Climbing to break free
Trying to rise above
Her spell on me,
She captured my heart
And stole the breath from my lungs
But she left me stranded
On a ladder with a million rungs.

Lyric looks good John. Hook rhythm could be…1 e & a, 2, 3, 4.

That’s mureka ai, but the link doesn’t work. Keep at it.

Bill

Thanks Bill, I think it's up now, all the best, john.

It is. I like the mureka output. Smooth R&B sound here.
Bill

Thanks Bill,I was pleasantly surprised how it sounded, I like the match between the lyrical topic and the sparse melody, it may sound old fashioned which I guess it does but broken love songs will always have a place in my opinion, funny but I'm hearing this in a dimly lit restaurant with a live piano player while couples munch on their t bones, hehe.
all the best, john.

I like it, sounds like Michael Bolton.

I'm not sure of you
nail the hook

There's not alot about the rungs. In my opinion. Which is important, what are those rungs, a few anyway.

Doesn't have to be that, just a thought

The other thing is million rungs might be hard to enunciate. Not sure if I didnt read it would I know what he said.

But it has heart, and can appreciate the sentiment. Good track

There's not alot about the rungs.

stole the breath from my lungs

1 million rungs + another 1/2 million on the step back....out of breath yes.

Maybe worth pushing the metephor in the bridge, a bit more....bring the emotional devastation up a step (ladder lol).
Just a thought.
Bill

Thanks Fd and Bill, I understand what you're saying, but at 4 minutes I don't see any room to expand it,I did want the last two lines repeated but I must have messed up posting it,
all the best, John

A ladder with a million rungs

Hi John, I was thinking this would be a good object writing line…the image keeps popping in my head!

I posted in another thread, hope you don’t mind.
Bill

But images of climbing rungs of a ladder are not in the song.

So your visualizing the ladder as the song says something else?

Two verses speak of a guy watching from a far his ex peparing to live with her new man.

The hook is not supported.

I get that its metaphorical, but it has nothing to do with the story..

Rather the verses hint at:
You left me STANDING HERE, wondering what went wrong.

With nowhere to go.

Alone tonight, with no support.

How did i fail, where do I go from here.

So,
A ladder with a million rungs is out of place.

Maybe
One rung...finding confidence

Another rung, courage to move on.

Another, not wanting to do something dangerous or hurtful.

Another, where do I live, how do I live.

I think Bill is not understanding this.

I'd delete that from that other thread.

Its also a clumsy line to sing...million rungs.. the uhns
.bumps into each other

You shouldn't be critiquing the critiquer bill.

That’s good discussion FD, and worth it too.

I tend to believe, discussion of present, finds its way into future writing.
Bill

the image keeps popping in my head!
Thanks Bill,that's a great reward to me
All the best, john.

Hello John,

I like this it's got a lot of heart.

If you and Bill don't mind I'd like to take something from you guy talk and run with it. (The Image In My Head)

Thanks and good luck
Tex

Thanks tex, no prob by me
all the best, john

Now we're in for a treat.

The pointlesslessness of posting.

That's my new idea

And its a yes from me as well. Should be interesting!!

With that, I can see all hope is lost for this site.

See ya