JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum The Secret to Happiness

As usual, my melody and words, I actually recorded them this morning and then gave it a male vocal.

Can you relate? Is it too wordy?

https://suno.com/s/H9ILRJBDV9xUiPaP

Not your best, but inspiring...

Money and things don't matter it seems
When a hungry king wants a can of beans

Yeah, as they say, 3 chords and truth, that's all I got. (smile)

By the way , everything in this song is true. We literally had 3 lawn mowers but only 1 ran, so the others were for "parts" at least that what husbands say. We couldn't afford propane for the grill , so yup, we just used charcoal, and someone is always giving away a damn hot tub, so we just waited for it to rain. LOL
My CRV was literally broke down and we just putting anti freeze in it... cus that's all we could afford to do.

You can bitch about everything you don't have and all the crap life hands you, but you have to "choose" to be happy.

*Kay-lynn's philosophy of life" (grin)

Thanks for listening.

Nope', Those weirdos give me the creeps... They must be high.
I NEED A REASON TO BE HAPPY.

Hi Kay-lynn,
I like the song. Here’s the only comment I can give you…
In a country or folk-rock song, the listener expects a rhyme payoff, or a strong refrain that feels inevitable when it comes back around. Right now, it feels more like a thoughtful aside than a catchy hook. In my opinion the lines:

I just gotta wonder do I really give a damn
About the secret to happiness

releases energy instead of landing it.

A clean rhyme would make the hook line much more catchier, stickier. Think about these alternatives:

I don’t need the stuff they’re sellin’ more or less
Yeah, that’s the secret to happiness

I ain’t buyin’ what they’re sellin’, I confess
Yeah, that’s the secret to happiness

I don’t need much, I just need less
That’s the secret to happiness

I ain’t keepin’ score, I’m already blessed
Yeah, that’s the secret to happiness

Something like that would make the hook clear, rhyming, and repeatable.

Rob, you're absolutely right in your alternative lines, but I was trying to write, like a person actually speaks.

you do make a point about I just gotta wonder do I really give a damn, about the secret to happiness.

I guess what I was trying to say is.. I don't give a damn about 'other's people's version of happiness.

not money, not fame, not having everything go right all the time.. living the good life etc.

everything's relative, it's all in the way you look at it, I guess (wink)