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12 members (Fdemetrio, Sunset Poet, Gary E. Andrews, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, Nadia, Roy Cooper, Wesley Ryan, Brian Austin Whitney, rpirone, Travis david, 1 invisible),
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ai Tip
by Fdemetrio - 05/13/25 07:47 AM
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A Kiss
by Marilyn Oakley - 05/11/25 09:18 PM
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,288 Likes: 5
Top 10 Poster
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OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,288 Likes: 5 |
Let's share the bad times together.
Verse
Not gonna be all roses'round our door
gonna be weeds and just guessing more
We grow our own crops and sometimes they fail
well as the sunshine there's drought floods and gales
Verse
I could hurt my back be off work for weeks
we could have arguments then don't speak
Fire could destroy the old barn and ev'rything
you could break your leg falling off that swing.
Chorus
So let's share the bad times together
we'll cope with all kinds of weather
Insured up to and over our eye balls
so let's do what we need to do, xxxx them all
Let's share the bad times together
good times, average times or never
live on the basis that xxxx might hit the fan
thankful for now you're a woman I'm still a man
Intrumental
Bridge
For better or for worse
prefer a barkeep to a nurse
Let's put happiness first
laugh smile smirk not curse.
Chorus
So let's share the bad times together
we'll cope with all kinds of weather
Insured up to and over our eye balls
so let's do what we need to do [naughty word removed] them all
Let's share the bad times together
good times, average times or never
live on the basis that [naughty word removed] might hit the fan
thankful for now you're a woman I'm still a man
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,012 Likes: 3
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,012 Likes: 3 |
Hi Travis,
It has been many a moon since I critiqued a song. Your message hits hard delving into the worst things that could happen in a relationship while pushing forward into a message of love enduring. If it was me, which it isn't, I would steer away from the curse words. Perhaps using "it" before hit the fan. It has an inner rhyme like the word you had chosen. I got held up a little bit on "eye balls". Not really something that you normally hear in a song. Not criticizing. Just pointing it out. Perhaps a rewrite of that line and this one to tone it down a bit and make it more listener friendly, "so let's do what we need to do [naughty word removed] them all". Really, in my opinion, if you make some slight changes to that area, you have a really good song in the making lyric wise. I hope you take this in the best spirit as that is how it is intended. Nice to meet you.
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