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Federale
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/20/25 01:08 AM
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A Kiss
by Tom Franz - 04/19/25 05:10 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,233 Likes: 6
Top 25 Poster
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OP
Top 25 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,233 Likes: 6 |
Of Evermore ©2025 Robert George
I was dangling from a rope of sand
Till I found the mighty hope of man
So let this world deny
That You unfurled the sky
For somewhere in the foggy long ago
You knew then what man still doesn’t know
From a bygone cliff
To a timeless shore
My soul is free
And is of forevermore
Somehow in the dark of night
There was born an arc of light
Light that I had never seen
Is a hope that’s evergreen
For somewhere in the foggy long ago
You knew then what man still doesn’t know
From a bygone cliff
To a timeless shore
My soul is free
And is of forevermore
Forevermore
What we see and touch
Won’t amount to much
What’s unseen is what will matter
Every star confirms
We’re here on heaven’s terms
Each one is a rung on Jacob’s ladder
For somewhere in the foggy long ago
You knew then what man still doesn’t know
From a bygone cliff
To a timeless shore
My soul is free
And is of forevermore
Yes, my soul is free
And is of forevermore
Forevermore…
Last edited by couchgrouch; 03/12/25 08:38 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,843 Likes: 38
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,843 Likes: 38 |
Love this Robert
Every star confirms
We’re here on heaven’s terms
Each one is a rung on Jacob’s ladder
did have a hard time following the grammar in this You knew then what now still doesn’t know "now" doesn't know??? probably but the listener may be confused
Overall??? Expresses faith well, but relative to your other work, I wanted more.
Dunno what, but somehow did not grab me like your other lyrics have
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,233 Likes: 6
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OP
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Hi, John. I was iffy on that line myself, so I changed it slightly. Whenever you do that, you can always see the stitches, but I think it'll be ok for first time readers.
over the last ten years or so, I've moved slowly toward lyrics that have a memorable title, maybe one thought-provoking idea but are metered and structured for singing. I dropped lines from this that were "deeper" for singability.
When I started paying attention to meter/structure nearly 20 years ago, my stuff became less interesting to read, but my demos got way better.
ps...I have worked on making the rhymes more interesting....
Last edited by couchgrouch; 03/12/25 08:45 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 5,588 Likes: 141
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Edgar Allan Poe would be pleased to see you stayed awake in class 
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