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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/05/25 07:43 AM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2 |
New demo: https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14897073Drivin’ home from work Watchin’ twilight fade to black The end of one more day I know I’ll never get back
Gonna meet the boys Down at Danny’s Iron Grid Where we’ll bitch ‘bout the job Just the way my old man did
Chorus: This country ain‘t no place for a workin’ man It broke the promise of the Promised Land We watched our dreams sail out of sight Stranded on the shores of the lost side of Paradise
Storefronts boarded up Lookin’ close to a ghost town While the county courthouse Flies Old Glory upside down
Chorus: Folks try’n to make it in these times so lean Prayin’ hard not to lose all their ways and means Watchin’ their dreams sail out of sight Stranded on the shores of the lost side of Paradise
Bridge: My collar’s blue And my blood is red I raise a shot glass full of hope To better days ahead
Chorus: Cos this country ain‘t no place for a workin’ man It broke the promise of the Promised Land We watched our dreams sail out of sight Stranded on the shores of the lost side of Paradise
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 5,240 Likes: 129
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 5,240 Likes: 129 |
Well... The good news is, you can't have one without the other. Those who make "promises" rarely do the work themselves lol 
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,073 Likes: 86
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,073 Likes: 86 |
I'm sure the good ole boys can relate , Great hook man
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2 |
Thanks, Ben. Appreciate your taking the time to check it out.
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,225 Likes: 31
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,225 Likes: 31 |
Good song with a message that a lot of folks can relate to. Love that guitar. A couple of suggestions.
I think it would be nice to repeat he last line of the chorus each time, as you do the last time, but the first time finishing on the same note as the previous line. Nothing wrong with it as it is.
There's little bit of a clash between these lines... Where we’ll bitch ‘bout the job Just the way my old man did
....suggesting that nothing has changed, and the message that seems to come through in the rest of the song that things have got worse.
Very minor suggestions, probably because I always like to suggest something LOL. It's really good as it is.
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 6,691 Likes: 44
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 6,691 Likes: 44 |
Lyrically has Springsteen all over it.
Musically sounds like AI. If it's not, no I don't apologize cause it doesn't matter.
Pretty good tune, needs a flashier hook cause it's trying to be a pop song, country pop.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2 |
Thanks, Gavin for checking this out Very much appreciated.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 200 Likes: 2 |
I wrote the lyrics so nothing could make me happier than to have them considered Springsteenesque. The music was written by my co-writer and demo producer Gerry Peters working out of Nashville.
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