JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE

Due to other things going on in my life, I won’t have time for new music projects for a while. This will probably be the last project I’ll finish in 2024.
A couple of weeks ago Carroll Kiphen sent me this beautiful lyric that he posted here and I gave it a try. This is an e-piano centric love song and I recorded all the instruments myself. Solaria from Dreamtonics contributed the vocals. I taught her how to breath properly in between the lines. You can actually hear her breathing. That makes her vocal performance more emotional, almost human. I hope I didn't overdo it. Feedback is alway appreciated.

All the best - Robert

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14806224

MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE

Verse 1
On the front porch in the moonlight
You’re hesitant to leave
‘Cause you sense that I want you
As bad as you want me

Verse 2
I know you’re shy and so am I
It’s confusing us
But if you close that door tonight
You’re closing it on love

Pre-Chorus
Take advantage of the moment
Let it set the mood
You know that you want me
As bad as I want you

Chorus
Tell me that you love me
Just like I love you
Pull me close and kiss me
Make my dreams come true

Verse 3
Have you dreamed about this moment
Prayed it would come true
Do you love me, do you love me
The way that I love you

Verse 4
Say what I know you’re thinking
Show me it’s no mistake
If it’s half what I imagine
I’ll do what it takes

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

Kiss me like you mean it
Let me know it’s no mistake
If it’s half what I imagine
I’ll ask you to stay

Chorus

Make my dreams come true

Make my dreams come true

That's real pretty Rob , amazing what AI tools can do , Great job guys

Real real pretty

Rob,

Really pretty tune . . . Simple and stripped in the arrangement and that works really well. The vocaloid is pretty impressive, and this is one of the better outings I've heard. The addition of the "breaths" is very cool and does additional humanity to the vocal. I do think it's a tad overdone at least in those first couple of verses . . . and I base that only on how often I would take a breath if I were singing it. So I might pull back on breaths in the same lyric line, but that's a very subjective, nitty suggestion (and once the drums and rest of the arrangement kick in, it's not noticeable . . . at least not over laptop speakers).

Very well done!!!

Deej

Hey guys,
thanks for listening and the feedback.

@Deej ... I'll take another look at those breath sounds and adjust them where needed. Thanks.

All the best
Robert

I like it. The simple arrangement suits the lyric. Solaria does a great job. One or two places where I think a real singer would choose to phrase it differently.

Say what I know you're thinking
Show me it's no mistake

and at the end, where the first two instances of the line, with the clipped "my," sound less natural than the last one

Make my dreams come true
Make my dreams come true
Make my dreams come true

I wonder how long before it will be possible to go in and tweak the phrasing at such a granular level.

Nice one!

Hey Gavin,
thanks for the valuable feedback. With Dreamtonics you can tweak almost anything and everything. For me to make the necessary changes I have to fully understand what exactly has to be changed. If I understand you correctly you want changes done to the second and third last line. Something is apparently wrong with the words "my" in those two lines. I don't hear any clipping. Do you want the "m" or the "i" (y) to be stressed more? Or do I need to adjust the length of the m and the y? I don't hear what needs to be modified. Can you explain in detail?

All the best
Robert

Hi Rob,

It's a conversational song and, as far as possible, the phrasing should follow natural speech patterns. This makes it feel more real.

The natural way to say, "Say what I know you're thinking" would have the stress on "Say" rather than "what" and (even more so) "Show me it's no mistake" would have the stress on "Show," not me. Solaria has followed the beat in a way that seems right to her in a strictly melodic sense, but it puts a little barrier between her and the listener because it doesn't sound natural. This is also something you occasionally find with even very good singers performing in a language that is not their own.

As for those last lines, I apologize. I meant to write that the word "come" is clipped, not "my." I don't mean clipped in a technical sense. I mean that the vowel is unnaturally short and kind of swallowed, and the way it combines with "true" doesn't sound quite natural. It sounds like it's being forced into the rhythm. It's not a big thing.

Gavin,
I tried that out what you suggested. I had to change the positioning and the length of the individual vocal notes in that section. That was pretty easy to do in Dreamtonics. I then listened to it a couple of times and ... well, I didn't like it more than the original version. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I've already heard the original version too often. I sang this song myself before I created the vocals with Dreamtonics and I actually sang it the way you hear it now. To your defense, I have to admit I'm not a vocalist. I appreciate your feedback very much and hope to get more in the future.

All the best
Robert