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#1193400 03/16/24 08:06 PM
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All You Are Is A lie by Marty
1-13594452520

A song about capricious lovers

https://soundcloud.com/sunset-poet-of-texas/all-you-are-is-a-lie

This one took a while.
My first rap song.

Actually, Starts as a ballad, morphs to crooner, morphs to rap, bridges with electric guitar solo, goes out more-or-less rap.

Me on vox and guitars (old school)
All else is midi.
Never left the house to do it.

Marty

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Love It! Way outside the box for you wink

This really needs to be a duet!

Nits... Drums could use more "punch", and... if you're gonna' drop an Fbomb do it like you MEAN IT! Get ugly grin

Cool stuff, Marty!


The journey is definitely more important than the destination...
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That sure is a out of the box structure Marty . I'm a crusade to use REAL Drummers lately . But you don't have to participate.
I don't hammer artists and their vision
Groovy tune man !!!

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Thanks Tony and Bennash.

This song is more-or-less aligned with my natural "box."
Building and morphing.

VCVCBC was never my natural approach to music, but I adopted it as the way of the world.

I appreciate the encouragement.

Marty

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I've listened to this now a couple of times, Marty. You have a very good base to jump from here and for this being your first "rap" style attempt it ain't too bad at all.
I would suggest tightening up the timing a little on the vocals. I look forward to seeing this one evolve.

Peace,

Dave


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Thanks Dave.
I appreciate the encouragement.

My DAW has a function called "Audio bender." It allows you to go in and grab transients and shift them forwards or backwards in order to align them with the beat more exactly. I thought about doing that here, but my worry was the unintended consequences that might arise in the audio if I did that throughout the song... so I left the timing natural.
There is also a line that I kept telling myself to re-write and I never did. It still bugs me a little.

As for the future of this one, I've already uploaded it to DistroKid. Beyond that, I'm not sure what I might do with it.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment,
Marty

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In that case, Marty I wish you the best of luck and hope your song gains traction out there!

Peace,

Dave


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Well....a lot to take in here! You know I'm a fan, and I like this. Having said that, I'm not sure rap is your thing. Good rap should be packed with internal rhymes. This just seemed like you'd stripped the melody away. It didn't sound bad, but the thing I like best about your stuff is the warmth of your vocals and there's not a lot of room for that in rap. I love the change-ups - really held my interest - but I like the balladeer, the crooner and the soloist better than the rapper smile

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That was very good I thought....some dramatic changes and music build up...different and good!
Bill

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Gavin
Thanks for stopping by. A think that rap, by strict definition, is the melody stripped away. Sorry that you didnt think that my rap was any good.

I think that there are some internal rhymes. As this song evolved, I found myself enjoying not feeling "shackled" by any preconceived notions of what anything should be. It was one of the most enjoyable writes that I've ever done for that reason. I plan to take that freedom forward.

All that aside, I can cross rap off my bucket list and leave this world knowing that I gave it a shot.

Thanks again for stopping by,

Marty

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Bill

Thank you very much for the encouragement. Appreciated. smile

Marty

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If it was rap, it be a bad rap, but I don't think it is.

Your kind of vamping in spoken word. It reminded me of Neil diamond.


Best part for me was "you could make love seem so real". Actor on a stage part.

You actually sing that line very well, so it's in there. The other parts dabble in spoken word and can be a nice contrast in parts.

The attempted rap? Meh

Do you

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Dom
Thanks for commenting.

I cant hold myself out as a rap expert. It is not something that I study or listen to.
This song started heading off that way and I let it go.

Don't agree that it is spoken word, unless by definition, rap is also spoken word...because someone is speaking words.

I didn't get Gavin's comment about internal rhymes either, because there are several there.
And, most importantly when I looked at it on my DAW's graph it was landing on the "beats" pretty much. I could have gone in and nudged the transients but I didnt think that would accomplish much and ran the risk of creating squanks and so forth.

To discuss and investigate this in more depth , I called a special meeting of the Paradigms Committee, which is my dog and cat and several invisible friends. After serious contemplation we decided that your Neil Diamond assessment was a no-sale.

But we appreciate you stopping by,

Marty

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Lol, all we're saying is your not a rapper. And that might be a good thing.

Your getting irked so I'll leave it alone.

Keep on writing it's good for ya

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I listened again, Marty and, yes, there are some internal rhymes. I noticed them in the first line. I don't really notice them anywhere else. What I meant is that rap will usually throw these at us pretty fast, sometimes several at a time and in a playful manner. Don't ask me to give examples LOL. I don't enjoy the genre and my observations are based on times I've been subjected to it by someone else smile

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NP Gavin.

Dom, I'm not irked.
You posted a comment about "Cracklin' Rosey" or something, and I could not truly make sense out of it...so I appropriately consulted my cat, my dog and a group of people who do not exist, for their guidance in the matter.

I have consulted them again.
My dog wants to argue the point, but I dont know exactly what his barking means.
My cat left the room and laid on the floor in front of the TV. I turn it to Tom & Jerry reruns for him.
The invisible people said, feel free to think the song is about Neil Diamond, Billy Joel or whoever.

As for me...I'm staying out of this one.

Have a good weekend, smile
Marty

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Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
NP Gavin.

Dom, I'm not irked.
You posted a comment about "Cracklin' Rosey" or something, and I could not truly make sense out of it...so I appropriately consulted my cat, my dog and a group of people who do not exist, for their guidance in the matter.

I have consulted them again.
My dog wants to argue the point, but I dont know exactly what his barking means.
My cat left the room and laid on the floor in front of the TV. I turn it to Tom & Jerry reruns for him.
The invisible people said, feel free to think the song is about Neil Diamond, Billy Joel or whoever.

As for me...I'm staying out of this one.

Have a good weekend, smile
Marty


I compared it to girl, you'll be a woman, by Neil diamond not cracklin Rose. And I'd like to be compared to Neil, he's a good writer.

If you listen to his song at twelve seconds in, he goes into a dialogue that could be considered a white man's rap, or a prelude to the genre. Play that part, and then play your rap section.

Your doing similar things. Talking, half singing, same monotone melody. if it was manuscript, it be all triplets flat lined. He does a bit more with it.

You don't have to accept it, it's what I heard. We should be so lucky to have people listening and hearing their own takes on it

And I did say that's a good part in there that might be your best singing yet.so, your welcome.

Yes this is easily spoken word ish, way more than rap. But again don't have to accept it

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Dom

The Paradigms committee has said that they are fine with however you want to view the song.

My dog has quieted down and joined the cat to watch Tom and Jerry reruns.

All is good.

Marty

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Brian: This, rescued from falling off MP3 page. More civilized discussions. Before the spread of the AI red dot disease.
Bill

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Marty,

I've always like the tone of your voice and it's evident here even with the rap-like style of the vocal deliveries. Really ambitious production--definitely something different from you, and it works well on a lot of different levels. One suggestion on the sections where the lyrics are delivered a bit more quickly might be to pan right and left alternating lines--might be interesting, but not sure it would work. It sounds like you are doing just that on certain sections, but not all? Dunno, It's just a thought. Sounding good as is.

Deej

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I must have missed this the first time round....love the casual opening...really good phrasing ....rap....hmmm... you didn't step outside the box, you burned it ...LOL nice job Marty

Steve


Creators of music have a responsibility to their craft. When they have finished using all the notes and words, they must pass them down to the next generation with a simple request. “Use these to create new music.â€...Steven McDonald
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Originally Posted by Bill Draper
Brian: This, rescued from falling off MP3 page. More civilized discussions. Before the spread of the AI red dot disease.
Bill

Thanks Bill.
I had no desire for Dom to quit the site...again.
He was doing some relevant stuff and it was pretty good.
I was hoping that Brian would effectively give him his own page, so that the rest of us could tell what was what.

C'est la Dom.

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Originally Posted by Deej56
Marty,

One suggestion on the sections where the lyrics are delivered a bit more quickly might be to pan right and left alternating lines--might be interesting, but not sure it would work.

Deej

DJ
I did do that in certain sections. The idea, as you picked up, was to make it sound like a couple of voices were calling out from across a room to each other. The wider that I panned the voices to get the effect, the weaker they became in the mix. I had to bring them back towards the center to get some punch. The effect is still there in part of the song, but not as prominent as I originally wanted it. A real sound engineer could have made it work.

Thanks for stopping by. Your presence, particularly your vocals, enhances the site.

Marty

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Originally Posted by VNORTH2
I must have missed this the first time round....love the casual opening...really good phrasing ....rap....hmmm... you didn't step outside the box, you burned it ...LOL nice job Marty

Steve

Thanks Steve.
I didn't plan to do this kind of a song when I started. It sort-of did itself.

Your comments are appreciated.

Marty

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Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
Originally Posted by Bill Draper
Brian: This, rescued from falling off MP3 page. More civilized discussions. Before the spread of the AI red dot disease.
Bill

Thanks Bill.
I had no desire for Dom to quit the site...again.
He was doing some relevant stuff and it was pretty good.
I was hoping that Brian would effectively give him his own page, so that the rest of us could tell what was what.

C'est la Dom.

Yes I agree. One of the 3 lyric forums could be used. I was hoping for a larger and more controlled response from the JPF crew at large, and it was starting to happen.
Simply this : lyrics need to be tested with music...AI music training software can be used this way. spark the lyric forums.
Bill


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