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Breathe
by Bill Draper - 01/20/25 05:32 PM
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Carolina
by Barry Williams - 01/20/25 09:34 AM
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I FOUND MY OLD POST! (Thanks Brian!) and revised it a little....
"Stuck Here At The Light" (c) 2018 by David Gill
<v1>
This traffic light is no friend of mine it's
laughing in my face
Who'd have thought a small red disc could
put me in my place?
Yet here I find myself
waiting for the green
Lord, tell me why is this traffic light so mean?
<v2>
I was on my way to say
how sorry I have been
There's really no apology to
make up for my sin
so I will be right there
just as soon as I can move
Lord, what the hell is this light trying to prove?
<ch>
What if I just rolled on through
ignoring the driving rules
and break a little law?
Keep on driving
pretending I don't see
and pray that no one saw.
Well that's the thing that got me here
So this time
I've gotta do what's right
I'm better off
stuck here at the light
The road ahead looks awfully long
I could make a right on red and be
gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
But I think I'll wait my turn
I hope your love for me still burns
I know what I did was wrong
And that's the thing that got me here
The devil sayin'
"It'll be alright"
So I'm better off
stuck here at the light
Your eyes are red from cryin'
you're sitting on the stair
I pull up hoping that
you're happy I am there
I run up to you
You stand up to me
There's one more stop to wait through
to know if you'll come back to me
What if I just rolled on through
ignoring the driving rules
and break a little law?
Keep on driving
pretending I don't see
and pray that no one saw.
Well that's the thing that got me here
So this time
I've gotta do what's right
I'm better off
stuck here at the light
Peace,
Dave
Last edited by David Gill; 03/01/24 07:59 AM.
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Hello David:
I was thinking story line-wise...acting on impulse gets singer into trouble....have him jump the light land in jail...two wrongs don't make a right? lol
More thoughts:
Important details emerge in the chorus. I wanted the chorus to be shorter, snappier, maybe. The reveal could be put in a bridge?
Also why is he better off stopped at the light....wouldn't he be better off jumping the light and making his apology, time being of the essence.
Just some random thoughts you might use or not. Seems pretty good so far though!
Bill Draper
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Thanks, Bill !!
My thinking here was, in spite of the subject's previous indiscretions and bad choices, he's finally realized the err of his ways and intends to follow all rules as written now.
Of course, he struggles with that but is hopeful for forgiveness, justifying this by showing he can be patient at a red light, for example, instead of doing as he pleases like usual.
I truly appreciate your taking the time to read this and offer suggs. It's good to be back. I've missed this place. Take care out there.
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Yes I like this idea! Good one.
Bill
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This is a great idea , once you dial it in
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Thanks. Ben! I appreciate your read and feedback.
Take care out there.
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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I've been playing with that Co-pilot program and asked it to re-write the chorus. I had to share this with you all because it made me laugh so much... :-)
What if I glided forward
disregarding the road’s strictures
bending the rules like a rebel without pause?
I’d keep my foot on the pedal
feigning blindness
hoping no eyes bore witness to my transgression.
Yet, a reckless choice led me to this crossroads
and now, conscience nudges me toward rectitude.
I find solace in stagnation
waiting at the signal— perhaps better off here,
caught in the amber glow. 🚦
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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That is interesting and useful I think. Has Co-pilot given up a alternate hook line? Caught in the amber glow.
Maybe the "femme fatale" was wearing a sexy yellow dress...buddy was caught in the amber glow.
Bill
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I've been playing with that Co-pilot program and asked it to re-write the chorus. I had to share this with you all because it made me laugh so much... :-)
What if I glided forward
disregarding the road’s strictures
bending the rules like a rebel without pause?
I’d keep my foot on the pedal
feigning blindness
hoping no eyes bore witness to my transgression.
Yet, a reckless choice led me to this crossroads
and now, conscience nudges me toward rectitude.
I find solace in stagnation
waiting at the signal— perhaps better off here,
caught in the amber glow. 🚦 Now THAT'S too intelligent for country 
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1 member likes this:
David Gill |
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Hey all,
I have a basic melody in my head for this but haven't picked up a guitar in many years. If I post a sample of my singing the 1st verse and chorus, could someone use that to generate the actual notes?
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Bill !!
I'm not sure how I overlooked this from you, sir, but yeah! That thing definitely took it to whole other level, right? LOL!!
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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That AI is useful...mixes things up and gets one thinking alternates, I believe.
I like the additions and alterations you made to the original!
Bill
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Nice write,Enjoyed the read.
Ckiphen
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Thanks for the read and the kind words, ckiphen!
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Hey all,
I have a basic melody in my head for this but haven't picked up a guitar in many years. If I post a sample of my singing the 1st verse and chorus, could someone use that to generate the actual notes?
Peace,
Dave Could you do that David? I'll chart the notes for you. Bill
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