Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
(Verse I) He digs with his wings rips open scars Like a dark ghost in a spooky graveyard His needle claws ensnare me in a trap And release the hidden demons of my past When I sleep fear hurts my weary eyes And I pray for a quick sunrise
(Chorus The crow flies over his nightly playground Like an ebony arrow making a hissing sound He's A NEVER ENDING nightmare Coal eyes with a cold blank stare He haunts my heart and soul LIKE A BIRD BY EDGAR ALLAN POE That nocturnal CURSE the crow
(Verse II) Caw! Caw! Hear his blood shrieking cry See his silhouette in the moonlit sky He casts a spell of sheer misery I canât hide from his trickery Heâs got black magic evil voodoo Stronger than any witches brew Ch solo The crow flies over his nightly playground Like an ebony arrow making a hissing sound He's A NEVER ENDING nightmare Coal eyes with a cold blank stare God Bless the morning Heâs gone In his place a white dove And a lovely dawn
I don't think I could 'hear' this Lyric when it is sung. It seems too obscure, too poetic/prose-like for it to get into my mind coherently when hearing it. Vocalization can lift a Lyric up though, so maybe. It is distracting to read with so many common errors:
They hang out in lonely graveyards Dig up whatâs lost rip open scars (This is two Lines. They are closely related so could be set apart with a semi-colon. I recommend use of punctuation.) Theyâre history evil demons of my past Like a snare Iâm feeling trapped I pray for a quick sunrises (a is singular; sunrises is plural. Little things matter in the presentation.) When I sleep the fear starts to rise (Using rise to Rhyme sunrise could probably be improved with some other Rhyme. Your Rhyme in this Verse works.) Ch They fly over the devils playground (apostrophe 's, devil's, possessive form, playground belonging to the devil.) Erie without a sound (Erie is a city in New York. You want eerie.) They fill all my lonely nightmares Coal eyes with a deadly stare They haunt me in my heart and soul My black ghosts of crows (I really like that title Line. I think I'd Repeat it to emphasize it's significance in the Lyric.) V2 Caw Caw with a shrieking cry I see silhouttes in the moonlight (left the 'e' out of silhouettes. Little things matter. Your reader stumbles, has to interrupt the flow to figure out what's missing.) They cast spells of sheer misery I canât hide from the mystery trickery Theyâre a strange voodoo I'm spooked by their witches brew Ch (Repeat Chorus) Solo (Do you intend here an instrumental solo? I call it an Instrumental Bridge, like a Lyrical Bridge, a device to break the monotony of Repetition with Change.) God Bless the mornings their gone (their means 'belonging to them'. You want 'They're' meaning they are. Two sentences; again, closely related, could separate with a semicolon.) My black ghosts of crows
Here it is with punctuation: (Verse I) They hang out in lonely graveyards, dig up whatâs lost! Rip open scars! (Exclamation point for more dramatic vocal delivery) Theyâre history evil demons of my past! Like a snare Iâm feeling trapped! I pray for a quick sunrise! When I sleep, the fear hurts my eyes!
(Chorus) They fly over the devil's playground, eerie, without a sound. They fill all my lonely nightmares, coal eyes with a deadly stare! They haunt me in my heart and soul, My Black Ghosts Of Crows! My Black Ghosts Of Crows!
(Verse II) Caw! Caw! with a shrieking cry! I see silhouettes in the moonlight! They cast spells of sheer misery! I canât hide from the mystery trickery! Theyâre a strange voodoo! I'm spooked by their witches brew!
(Repeat Chorus) They fly over the devil's playground, eerie, without a sound. They fill all my lonely nightmares, coal eyes with a deadly stare! They haunt me in my heart and soul, My Black Ghosts Of Crows! My Black Ghosts Of Crows!
(Instrumental Bridge)
(Coda; a final Musical Movement)
God Bless the mornings! They're gone! My Black Ghosts Of Crows! My Black Ghosts Of Crows!
(This gives you six 'hits' on THE Hook, the title Line.)
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
Hey man not sure we need !! In lyrics Depends how I sing it I could sing hook twice You hear work tape Be awhile get real drummer and pro bass player Iâm thinking Hammond organ also
Thanks for correcting grammar And your time , thatâs real sweet of you Hurts my eyes works , thanks !!!
Be kinda boring Tony , I added a pro drummer and bass player , I'm thinking Hamond and Sax. the bass player was bit lost , man its just 9ths lol . he got it
Now Hammond , then sax , then wrap it up , Add vocals mix it thanks Tony my man i think i might cut solo by 30 seconds , Well see how bad ass Sax sound does I was following Stevie
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
"Parents are notorious for telling you not to do something, but not telling you WHAT to do instead. So here are my thoughts. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, give it a manicure. Don't burn your bridges, go out and build more! And of course, Don't run with Scissors, use them to cut out your press clippings!" -Brian Austin Whitney
