JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum Lean on my Love indie cut

Hi, folks. Here's a tune I'm very proud of, recorded by Elles Bailey. I hope you like it.







LEAN ON MY LOVE

E. Bailey- j. Elliott- R. George- M. Morgan
When It Seems Like
Life is just a desert that you’re walking through
When it sounds like regret is an echo that you’re talking to
When It’s like your spirit is a lonely island
I can see you even when your pain is silent

Chorus
Lean on my Love Lean on my Love
Anything you go through
I can help to show you
Lean on My Love Lean on My Love
And I will lean on yours

When it feels like
You are slipping and you’re not really holding on
When it looks like gray horizons have replaced the golden dawn
And all the seeds your heart and soul once planted
Are just roses that this world takes for granted

Repeat chorus

Bridge:
When I look into your ocean eyes I see the end of time
how your faith will always be the closest friend of mine

Repeat Chorus

I will lean I will lean on yours

Congrats Couch. Defintly an old school vibe, lyrically it reminds of Bridge over Troubled Waters, And naturally, lyrically and musically, Lean on Me.

Doesnt seem like your style, but a cut is a cut.

No wasted words, and I kind of enjoy the short meter. You positively get better melodies with shorter lyrics.....

Congrats and good luck!

Robert

I haven't been commenting around here much lately.
I bucked that trend for your song.
It is always nice to see a complete and good sounding song such as this.

The entire song is a good job, with nicely drawn imagery.
So overall my comment is "good job."

I suggest you take this song as a road map and write another.
This one sounds similar to "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers in several ways, instruments used, tone, tempo, leading with the words "Lean on."

Additionally, I think that,

"Life is just a desert that you’re walking through
When it sounds like regret is an echo that you’re talking to"

is outstanding. But...the song overall contains a lot of metaphors that are abstracted.

""""When it feels like
You are slipping and you’re not really holding on
When it looks like gray horizons have replaced the golden dawn
And all the seeds your heart and soul once planted
Are just roses that this world takes for granted

Bridge:
When I look into your ocean eyes I see the end of time""""[/i]

I suggest imagining sitting alone in a room with no furniture other than two chairs upon which you and the person being addressed are sitting.
And only writing about what you can see. I think the impact of the feelings felt would come across stronger.

If you dont like my suggestions, don't do them.
I hope that you and the subject of the song had an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

Martin

I think Couch probably didnt have full reigns on this, four other writers listed.

but yeah the Rhoades and ascending and descending lines.

Dont know how you write a song between four people

Its also kinda like of Bridge Over troubled water...when your down..... etc

I think you can tip your hat to another song, without it BEING that song.

My boy Willie NIle made a career out of it.

Far too "humanist" for my taste... but I do enjoy the imagery

Thanks guys.

Robert

To my mind, when you represent human thoughts, emotions, circumstances and conditions with sunsets, seeds, horizons, dawns, roses...
You have used abstraction. To my mind that level of abstraction makes the song a little less about the person under consideration, than about the writing itself.

As opposed to the sadness in someone's particular blue eyes or the happiness in their particular smile.

No desire to argue it.
Nice song.

Martin

Nice work Couch et al.

Don't hear lean on me or bridge over troubled water, but then that is me I guess.

I like this ...especially that ending ....really good singing...and I even hear a little Janice Joplin in it...on the hook.

Oh and I am turning people on to Craig...and your song generally gets the first spin.... one of my "driving" CDs

Still a big Thank You for introducing his music to me

Well your not going to hear it lol. It's stylistically very similar, and having a title so close to an Iconic song like, lean on me, you're asking for comparisons.

Yes it is similar to both songs just not blatant, And perfectly fine.

anyway, why retire Couch? I'm not allowed to retire it keeps roping me back in my whole life

Thanks John. Craig's cd is great and Hills is one of the best songs I've ever been a part of, no doubt.

Angus Young >"I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same, In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same."

Well Couch, there's other genres, don't need to write double hooks country lyrics, you could write to rock, and pop, and blues and jazz

Concept albums, it doesn't cost u anything to write, try spending on recording gear.

Bottom line is do you enjoy creatingz? If so don't retire

Robert

I truly wish that you would write a song dealing with this level of dedication towards one person that only dealt in literal descriptions of what you actually see when you look at that person, and then related those images back to the emotions that you felt.

You wrote a song like that once and I liked it a lot.

An offer....
I am developing a two person act with a woman who truly sings very well.
If you write the lyrics, I'll try to give them a melody and have her sing them. My voice is unlikely to be versatile enough for me to sing it or give it the right mood.
I can't promise when I will get it done, because songs take me forever, start to finish.

And no, I don't want anything from inventory. The offer is good for a brand new fresh one.

Martin

ps...the lady is active in the Texas music world. She has (Texas) charted a couple of her own writes with 20 & 30 something Indi's.
I can't promise that this will all work out, but I can promise to try.

Sounds like a good offer.

Likewise write me a Tommy, and I'll write the music and sing it.

It's always been a bucket list to do a concept album. Likely won't sell but nothing does.

Just pivot and change directions. Write from pov, not from creating a story, you cant repeat yourself doing yourself.

Hi, Martin and thanks for the offer.

Let me make a counter offer...I give you a strong hook with direction for the lyric. You write it your way, at your pace. Send it to me for a brief once over, then to your singer.

I will not nit pick you. I'll probably only mention meter. No one on the internet gives enough attention to meter. Fancy lines are not the 1st mark of a pro, a hook and meter are.

Think about it.

Congrats Couch....nice one!

Robert,

I'm unaccustomed to writing to hooks. I usually write from situational POVs and look for a hook as the song progresses.
But I would be delighted to give-it-a-go.

My email is sunset.poet.texas@gmail.com
Send me whatever info that you want to steer the song with and I'll move it forward.

As for meter and timing, I feel like I do that alright. I can usually ride a syllable or cut one off here and there to stay on a beat. I dont always worry about the meter replicating exactly at commensurate places in the song. I will have no problem with you steering those concerns and whatever other suggestions that you may want to make.

Looking forward to it,

Martin

Hi, Martin. I sent you an email, but it bounced. So, I sent you a PM.

Robert

Just looked at your hook. Like it. Very much.

I'm going to put this on my typical slow burn. I like to work up to "blocks" and let things incubate, coming back later with a fresh look.
I've always read that the first idea that occurs to someone is probably the best. For my songwriting, that doesn't seem to apply so much. I have to stay with things until they look as right as I can make them. When I look at something on the page, and feel a little "nagged" by it, that tells me that it isn't right yet.
So, songs take me a while.

With regard to my rig.
I have competent recording equipment. The weak link is my skill level. I do my best.

Anyways, the hook lights me up and I look forward to doing this with you.

Martin