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Maybe this and software singer is the start of a concept album, lol. Always wanted to do a concept album like The Who.

Gone Phishin

Waldo finished at Washington U
he got his diploma but jobs were too few
worked at Mc'Donalds for a couple of years
swallowin his pride, livin off tears

Then he befriended a technical geek
who came to Mc'donalds some two times a week
taught him some ways to make lots of cash
work with computers, quit his job fast

His Manager wondered where Waldo might be
phone message said "Don't worry about me"

I've gone phishin
and i've found new wealth
for the first time in life
I'm enjoying myself
some folks spend their lives just wishin
not me, I've gone Phishin

Well, Waldo and friend made thousands a month
surfin for suckers and there is always one
whistled "Beethoven's Fifth" when someone arrived
at the look alike website the two had contrived

Now, both of them worked two hours at best
while making a name in identity theft

They'd gone phishin
but they never left home
hacked credit card numbers
yet no one had known
The National Bank had lots of dough missin
Cause these guys, They'd gone Phishin

But like all good things it came to end
When Digital Phishnet caught an email they'd sent
The two were arrested, given ten years
The inmates all loved them and wanted to hear

how they'd Gone Phishin
and never left home
hacked credit card numbers
yet no one had known
The National Bank had lots of dough missin
Cause these guys, They'd gone Phishin

Dom,

My first thought, when I finished was, "wow, Dom works that last chorus in like Grouch would."

The word "phishing" has been around for a while. Good to see someone finally saw the potential in using it like this.

This felt familiar, so I checked, and yep, you first posted this back in 2011 under a different "Dom de plume." Still as relevant today, and too good a write to have kept buried.

The lines all read like a musician wrote them, iow they seem to sing just fine, and contribute to the story line.

I'm very impressed.

Really good work!

Mike

Thanks Mike, yep ive been here too long, lol, same guy, still misunderstood .

And I do credit Couch, watching his use of double hooks, and twists and plots, it was something i had never seen before in pop or rock, so it's still not something id use much, but was worth trying an helped me rethink lyrics overall . They do matter, all my favorites write good lyrics , at least have something to say when you write, that's the purpose of it all in the end.

There were a lot of good lyricists on that other site who I watched. And some good country songwriters who maybe I learned something from.

Yeah, any meter issues take care of themselves, when your writing it lol, reading it, some nay not see it

Yep', great singable structure here.
I wonder if the story would be less "predictable"... more engaging if it was more "in the moment"? Describe "phishing".

Gettin' low on bread... goin' Phishin'
Need new wheels... goin' Phishin'
Neighbor won the lottery... goin' Phishin'

It does require the listener to know what phishing is. I used first verse to sound like he took the day off and went fishing, hence gone fishin on his answering machine.

So play on words, he went fishing as in doing something else, but that something else was get involved with internet crime... phishing

I didn't know how else to finish other than them getting caught, cause u dont wanna encourage people to do it either lol.

Got no use for a rod-n-reel
Learned a trick, a better way to steal
You'll know it's gone when it's missin'
Took the bait when I was phishin'

Traded my boat for a computer...
Cheap Vett for sale in your Email...
Phishin's better when catchin'...
Wife thinks I'm a genius...

Lol not bad

Yeah it's not enough about fishing , for the double hooks to work, I realize that now, didn't then

Might revisit , but I've got so much to finish as is