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Gotta' give CouchGrouch a shout for the inspiration here

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14230477

V1
Danny the dentist got bored with his life
Bought an 80'grand chopper to escape his wife
Crossbones on his skullcap, big black leather boots
Flirtin' with disaster, feelin' Soooo Cool

PreCh1
Danny couldn't see the trouble coming
Those biker chicks were way more than friendly
On a dare they convinced gullible Danny
To ride along and watch a robbery

(Still needs a hook)

V2
Danny stood guard while those girls taught him a lesson
They robbed that liquor store in under thirty seconds
Left their Honda's runnun' to make their getaway
Screamed out of that parking lot and left Danny astray

PreCh2
Danny barely knew what had hit him
His handle bars knocked out his front teeth
His first high speed run was a failure
With 80'grand left mangled in the street

(Still needs a hook)

V3?
Well Danny lost his wife but got some nice tattoos
He found prison life well suited for old fools
All those missing teeth made him quite popular
All his new friends now call him Dr Choppers

Tag?
Yeah' Danny the dentist got bored with his life....

Like it.

JAPOV, our ideas about what constitutes a hook, as well as how to develop one with a good structure, rhymes and imagery are light years apart.

When someone sends you a lyric, that is not an invitation to take their idea, without their permission, and use it for yourself.

That's completely unprofessional, which is what happens here on JPF. Graham Henderson (RIP) did something similar to me years ago.

I have no idea what got the Couch's stuffing flying about the room. Was this inspired by that Geronimo thing he posted a little while back? If so, I would ignore him. Nothing wrong with being inspired by someone's idea and doing something completely different with it. Or is it now an infringement of his copyright to write a song that has a guy on a bike in it? Couch should be tickled pink that he has inspired someone for a change instead of getting all hot under the cushions.

Maybe he's talking about a different lyric, in which case my remarks should, as is often the case, be ignored.

Having said that, this isn't one of my favorites of yours Tony. The idea is good and the visuals are funny but the story falls a little flat. Maybe a little more about Danny trying to keep up with the girls and him shooting off the road and crashing in a kiddie's playground or crashing right into a cop car?

Well, perhaps I owe you an apology then CG. The last two times you've contacted me, I've declined for the same reason... Your lyrics were not ready for music. That's the reason I gave you credit.

"Hello! Songwriting Forum!"

We could still collaborate on this, but if you disagree... please, take me to school. Post your lyric and show me what a hook looks like lol...

I may or not be believed, but I have been stolen from many times over the years on different forums. Usually its by a lyric person, trying to show me how good their lyrics are and how good mine could be, if i just teamed up with them. Theyd come up with a similar title, and write their version of it. I only once called somebody out cause, usually they are much worse than my lyric.

Other times my hooks were stolen, "You had me at Hell No" was one i came up with while taking a dump one evening. I saw the title surface several times online. Im not a blockbuster lyricist, but fortunately nobody did it better. Its like dude "if you wanna do that, make sure its substantially better than my own, otherwise, why do I need you? lmao

And Japov threatened to steal this on me... http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/1175427/dumphuck-lane.html

I didnt say anything, cause frankly, i dont care about the lyric, I was just doing some practice to writing to a hook. And I dont think Japov was wrong, he knows it was a goof, That's not making my album.

You may steal lyrics, but if you dont have a way of making it work together, steal all you like. You do leave yourself open, by posting here.

That said,,,, wohhhh nellie. I've been working hard on my next batch of stuff, and was pleasantly surprised when i noticed new parts in toontracks ez drummer that weren't there before, it was upgraded and had to be downloaded. Some nice rock stuff.

Its taking me hours and hours to do one song, just drums, and i cant wait till its all done, and dont have to do this work.

Think i got my catchiest tunes, and will probably have the best recordings of them ive had yet.

This place has been slow and boring, I knew when I saw couchgrouch on the forum, something was brewing. Was a nice ten minute break.

What CG sent me aside... I was hoping this would appeal to any Bikers in our little crowd here. You see, the punchline is, Danny was never going to keep up with the girls on their Hondas... Not on a chopper, and the girls knew it from the start. The irony is, they probably got away with a few hundred bucks, but Danny the dentist laid an 80k bike in the street and lost his teeth... Well, anyway, I thought it was funny

It would probably make a great video...

Lol... Dump-Huck still makes me laugh

JAPOV, let's just go our own ways and leave it at that...

I wonder CG... Would you be happier if I simply said "WOW! What a great lyric!" and charged you to record it as is?

So what really happened here...scratchin head...

Am I to gather, that CG sent Japov a lyric, for Japov to coloborate on? And then Japov did nothing with it, but instead, made his own song, out of the idea inspired by Couchgrouch?

And then CG immediately zoomed in on the thread, and now all prospects of future coloborations are null and void?

Where is Perry Mason when you need him....

Are we not all men, do we not all experience the same highs and lows, joy and sorrow, love and hate, compassion and indifference. Do we not all eat three meals a day, and shower once a month?

Most importantly, are we not just a bunch of farts on a songwriting forum?

Well, I for one, would like to hear this coloboration materialize. CG is running out of recordings to post, he needs new blood. I must admit, the unlikely pairing of these two has me perplexed, yet intrigued.

You two wanna brawl, lets put you in a ring and run wagers...

Sorry, its been a slow start to the morning. Must now program drums

I just did what always comes naturally to me FD, I took interest in a lyric/concept and tried to improve upon it. Of course, we all know how difficult that is since CG is such a master wordsmith, but for some reason I was still compelled to try...

The real question is, since I'm not here charging for a service, and I don't bother commenting on anything that doesn't impress me anyway, how can anyone accuse "ME" of being "unprofessional"?

Perhaps I should just charge for a service and keep my opinions to myself.....?

Naaaaaaa, LOL

I can accuse you of being unprofessional because you stole my idea. You did it poorly, but you did it. There should be a record of it for others to see.

I only knew you did it because you told me to look at the lyric section.

This has happened to me before on JPF. If you have a problem with being called unprofessional, bring in Brian. I can guarantee you what he'll say. We've been there before. Feel free to send him my private correspondence and my lyric. Show him what I've said here.

otherwise, drop it.

I just wanted to see what you could do with one of my novelty lyrics. The pro who contacted me the other day? He got a different lyric.

Ok, so im warm, but why didnt Japov just write to the your lyric?

I can understand being miffed at the idea being "stolen" And most people would agree. I think he just wasnt taking the situation to be professional, but rather friendly. I dont know if CG knows how to be friendly.....

Here's the underlying issues...

JPF for some is a recreational site to hang out, and oh yeah, pass some songs around

For others, it is a serious place to find coloborators, and showcase what you can do (If anybody is actually listening or reading)

Japov fits the former, CG fits the latter.

Anyway, Why not just give it a go, what else do you have to do? I have my doubts it will be a good un, but let that be some motivation to prove me wrong. Knowing what both are capable of, I just dont see it...nah

Ah, that's what I didn't get. I had no idea that a Chopper cost $80K. I thought that he had somehow spilled a bunch of cash on the road and couldn't figure out why he had it, when the girls gave it to him or why a liquor store had $80K on the premises. Also, I don't think you can leave someone astray. You can lead someone astray, but that feels a bit forced here.

Fine then, here's your record.....



Hey Japov...it sounds like you have a new recording rig, of which I know zero about, haha.


can you do southern rock? big simple beat, loud drums and snarling slide geetar?

if so, see what you think of this.

for a template, have a listen to Some Beach by Blake Shelton. like that, only rowdier.

feel free to say no. It won't hurt my feelings. Being turned down is part of the game.

take care,

rob

Choppers

Larry tired of his dentist life
Drillin’, fillin’ molars 9 to 5
So he chucked it all and bought a two-wheeled hog
Got himself a leather coat n boots
Rode all over like a bad-ass dude
Joined a biker gang they called The Devil Dogs

No longer slavin’ to the grind and all cooped up
Cruisin’ with his crazy buddies in their souped up

Choppers
Lookin’ sharp all full of wires n steel
No apologies, cutting edge technologies
Choppers
With a power that your joints could feel
They were mostly raiders, thugs n robbers
Chewin’ up those Texas roads with their choppers

They came rollin’ in a town one night
Roarin’ down the main street on their monster bikes
Scarin’ people…lookin’ for an easy score
Larry wasn’t sure just what to do
He kept watch out on the avenue
While a bunch of rowdies robbed some liquor stores

Sheriff’s deputies behind them by the dozen
High above their bikes were spotlights and the buzzin’

Of choppers
Lookin’ sharp all full of wires n steel
No apologies, cutting edge technologies
With a power that your joints could feel
They were chasin’ raiders, thugs n robbers
Chewin’ up those Texas skies with their choppers

Larry saw some trouble in the pen
Doin’ time with hardened men
In a ruthless cellblock and a ruthless yard
Riot in the laundry room
They were swingin’ billy clubs n brooms
There were toothless prisoners and a toothless guard

Then the warden heard of Larry’s skill with drillin’
Now he fixes up criminals and villains

With choppers
Lookin’ sharp all full of wires n steel
No apologies, cutting edge technologies
With a power that your jaw could feel
They were mostly raiders, thugs n robbers
Chewin’ up that prison chow with their choppers

©2009 Robert George
------------------------------------------------------

Knowing a little about bikes, I can see the potential here lol... but it's not ready yet. Your storyline should be more like this;

Larry the dentist, not knowing anything about bikes, buys himself a cool chopper...
A local biker gang lures poor Larry into some trouble and uses him as a scapegoat...
The robbery goes off without a hitch and poor Larry is left behind...
In the wreck, poor Larry loses all his front teeth because choppers handle like [naughty word removed]...
Larry loses his wife-n-kids, but gets a cool "choppers" tattoo in prison
------------------------------------------------------

We'll agree to disagree, haha.

No hard feelings.

Take care, rob
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Check lyrics feedback for "Dr Choppers"
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--------------------------------------------------------Stop

Now, normally I wouldn't do this........
CG, I think your lyric sucks! "Look mommy, choppers in the street, choppers in the sky, and grandma' has choppers too HaHa..." Lyrics like this are the reason Dr Seuss got cancelled. This is only a hook if you're a five year old.

I have no doubt that the "pros" are contacting you for lyrics CG, so it was probably real smart not to give them this one....

Novelty my ass!

Did you send Brian the correspondence, which is what I asked in my above post? Not post it publicly? You have reading comprehension issues. I also now think you're toxic.

Fortunately, as anyone can see, there's nothing wrong with my PMs.

Toxic?

Now that it's all out in the open, we have context. So, please refer to the very first line of this thread and explain to us again what you believe has been stolen from you...

Danny the dentist got bored with his life
Bought an $80 grand chopper to escape his wife
Crossbones on his skullcap, big black leather boots
Flirtin' with disaster, feelin' really cool...

Breaks are nice, what huh when?

Well its like this..

Japov is not toxic per se, but he is different. Very hard to put a finger on, and gives some strange replies, if you like his music, hell give you a sarcastic response, if you dont, hell give you a sarcastic response. After a while i think thats just how he is.

Couchgrouch, is all about ME, which is why he couldnt even ask for the co-write straight up "ahhh I noticed you got a new recording rig, which I know nothing about" Was kind of a whimpy way of asking for a cowrite, he couldnt swallow his pride and say, hey I think you're good, I got something I think might work for you.

The recording rig has got nothing to do with it, you gotta be able to write.... you dont seem to understand that music is writing too, not just lyrics. Its a kin to him saying "Say, I noticed you got a new pen and paper, and mine ran out of ink"

Lookin at the lyric, I can see why he didnt do anything with it, your stuff is not easy to put to music and melody to. It requires knowledge of that niche style.

How good would you do writing to one of his tracks....

I still say give it a shot, im sure it will suck, nah, wont work...

I have a very dry sense of humor FD... Think John Cleese from Alabama

Perhaps the most famous song about a guy on a motorcycle was "Leader of the Pack":, more than a half century ago.

When it comes to copyright and trademark infringement cases, seems that the number of those has rise astronomically over the past few decades. Indication of increases (in) sensitivity?

Perhaps the most famous song about a guy on a motorcycle was "Leader of the Pack":, more than a half century ago.




began thinking of a helicopters as they are often referred to as choppers.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37UTpnPTvIk

Well, as long as it's obvious that I never intended to "steal" anything here... me and "MY" big mouth are perfectly content lol.

heres two possible reasons for the increase in infrigement cases.

One, the longer music goes on, the more likely something is going to sound similar to SOMETHING out there.

Two and probably the main reason. The money from music has dried up considerably. In the old days theyd let it go, Now they sue because they want to make up for lost revenue in today's medium.

Cause similarities have always been there. I hear songs every day that sound like other songs.

You're forgetting that I was approached with an opportunity to collaborate. However, since I decided to make the venture public and CG balked, which one of us actually has the stronger case for stealing the other's ideas?

Yeah i havent figured that one out. He coulda just posted the lyric on the site, and if anybody saw it, and liked it, they might approach him. I had assumed thats been his purpose of being here since the beginning. Maybe he feels nobody looks at the lyric section no more.

Why dont you just write it, if its good he couldnt possibly say he doesnt want it.

Fine... Hey Grouch (or anyone interested), this thing still needs a "hook"!

Chorus?
Badass leather jacket and a perfect smile
Fat wallet on a chain held his lifestyle
Expensive chrome and wheels were all worthwhile
Till fate made him regret that last mile

Perhaps skip the whole prison scene...? Make the last verse about his estranged wife showing up at the funeral?

Your original lyric is going to take a lot of work to get the same "feel" as "Some Beach" out of it.

Choppers

Larry tired of his dentist life
Drillin', fillin' molars 9 to 5
So he chucked it all and bought a two-wheeled hog
Got himself a leather coat n boots
Rode all over like a bad-ass dude
Joined a biker gang they called The Devil Dogs

No longer slavin' to the grind and all cooped up
Cruisin' with his crazy buddies in their souped up

Choppers
Lookin' sharp all full of wires n steel
No apologies, cutting edge technologies
Choppers
With a power that your joints could feel
They were mostly raiders, thugs n robbers
Chewin' up those Texas roads with their choppers

They came rollin' in a town one night
Roarin' down the main street on their monster bikes
Scarin' people, lookin' for an easy score
Larry wasn't sure just what to do
He kept watch out on the avenue
While a bunch of rowdies robbed some liquor stores

Sheriff's deputies behind them by the dozen
High above their bikes were spotlights and the buzzin'

Of choppers
Lookin' sharp all full of wires n steel
No apologies, cutting edge technologies
With a power that your joints could feel
They were chasin' raiders, thugs n robbers
Chewin' up those Texas skies with their choppers

Larry saw some trouble in the pen
Doin' time with hardened men
In a ruthless cellblock and a ruthless yard
Riot in the laundry room
They were swingin' billy clubs n brooms
There were toothless prisoners and a toothless guard

Then the warden heard of Larry's skill with drillin'
Now he fixes up criminals and villains

With choppers
Lookin' sharp all full of wires n steel
No apologies, cutting edge technologies
With a power that your jaw could feel
They were mostly raiders, thugs n robbers
Chewin' up that prison chow with their choppers

(c)2009 Robert George

"Country rock"? "Snarlin' slide"? "Some Beach"?
I'm still very Confused O_o

oh boy fighting on a forum for 3 comments on a song when its done . Hello radio charts .

Ben, the fighting comments are 2 1/2 years old. I think Couch and Tony have made up.

oh well I late to the party , That's good Mike
2 years ago lol

Hey Grouch,
Can you snap your fingers and sing the chorus into your phone?