JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum She Calls Me The Crazy One

I must admit, the Grouch surprised me with this one
Just a quick acoustic rough...
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971

She Calls Me the Crazy One ©2016 Robert George BMI

She once drank a flaming cocktail
Made of Cuban rum
But she calls me the crazy one

She chases after doorstep preachers
With my old shotgun
Then she calls me the crazy one

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Am I out of my head
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Down in Mexico she’d cliff dived nekkid just for fun
And she calls me the crazy one

Now she headed for Nashville
In a car that barely runs
But I’m the crazy one

O a love you can predict
Is a love that rarely sticks

So, am I losing my mind
To need a girl who’ll go anywhere at any time
Am I out of my head
To love a lady I can’t label or define

Yeah, am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Am I out of my head
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Well, if that’s who I’ve become
I won’t deny that’s why
I’m the crazy one
She calls me the crazy one…

It's definitely worth working on. I don't know what your recording capabilities are.

Can you add a fake banjo, shakers, tambourine and some greasy guitar licks?
Maybe a weird sound effect after the 2nd "crazy one"?

Maybe delete that last chorus in favor of couple of tags like, "crazy as a bankrobber in Metropolis..."

Think it over.

I'm busy in the AM, but I'll check back asap.

Ps...I wouldn't have written this now, haha. I know some people that'd be offended by that preacher line. On the other hand, I've experienced some unpleasant doorstep preachers...

Now ya'll are talking my lingo
Good song guys
Door step preachers
Bell . Mat, either work

She's a lot like my eX...

Yeah', we'll do this one up!

The chorus sings real well, that's where I started...
A couple lines in the verses are a bit cluttered though, think about it. This is just a one hour one off so options are open

She once lit her hair on fire
Drinkin' flaming rum...

She chases off doorstep(doorbell?) preachers
With a shotgun...

She got arrested dancin' naked
Just for fun...?

Tony,
the song is really cool. I think you could make the hook line (Yeah, I'm the crazy one) even stickier by getting it to rhyme with the 3rd line of the chorus. Something like ...

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Should I stay or should I run
And love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

or maybe

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Is it smart or is it dumb / I know it might be very dumb / My common sense is going numb / I feel comfortably numb
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Just a thought.

All the best - Robert

Do we have to keep hearing about your crazy ex Tony, We could have a stand off on ex wifes
Lets hope their in therapy like we should be. If you check all the boxes they ask , It could cost us $50,000 a hour
Whats your preface well somebody over 40 , I don't think a shrink 30 knows anything yet. I'm thinking on getting one 70 like me
I'm sure the first statement will be , Well we woke up this morning. So whats the goal , To not be crazy when we die
I'm not sure on the life coach , I have enough ambition , But they have to know more then the 15 shrinks i've seen
Like the priest shrink , Well maybe your addicted to voices , Really maybe you should be a plumber

Tony, the first two suggestions are fine.

Try...she cliffdives for fun. Street races for fun...

Need coffee...


Wrestles gators...

Very good, Rob!
Yes, I thought about that as well... the chorus needs a better rhyming hook.

I'm just trying hard not to offend Grouch's sensibilities again lol

Lol...
That's an admirable goal, but who gets to define "crazy"?

Wrestles gators naked just for fun..? lol

Come on Grouch, she's a party girl!
"Arrested, naked"... I like the internal rhyme

Tony,
you got to hear what it sounds like with the rhyme to decide if that works or not. It's a pity you didn't record this one with AI. Lyric changes would have been easy with that software.

All the best - Robert

Yes, but I'm a player... I go by feel. I've got my guitar in hand right now

Another question; Should I do an electric "country rock" version?

Probably Clinically depressed God I guess . Or Jesus that looks like Richard Pyror
Black people always depict the Devil as white
I think all three could use a dog in there life

Do a country rock version. Bring in a banjo after the 1st chorus, if you can.

To me, the chorus is the "insane" lines. If you need an extra line, don't say "comfortably numb". Say "she's/I'm Tequila the Hun, I'm a good for something bum, I'm the crazy one"

I like to think that God is going surprise everyone when He reveals the "actual" commonality in all of us

Probably who knows , its all comedy central to me
Well unless you listen to news reporters that look like Husler magazine models
And the worlds ending 24'7. I'm not sure if I should run a warm bath with candles and listen to them
What was that sweet heart a another war is breaking out ?
God does not scare me as much as my pissed off wife does
They both deal in fear I guess.
its a bit much I bought to many bottles of Spaghetti sauce, I think your over reacting

Lol, that's awesome!
I just wish tequila wasn't so cliché...

That's how puns work...you bend a cliche. Use it...

She once lit her hair on fire
Drinkin' flaming rum
But she calls me the crazy one

She chases off doorbell preachers
With a shotgun
Then she calls me the crazy one

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
She's Tequila the Hun
I love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

She got arrested dancin' naked
Just for fun
And she calls me the crazy one

Now she headed for Nashville
In a car that barely runs
But I’m the crazy one

O'a love you can predict
Is a love that rarely sticks

So, am I losing my mind
To need a girl who’ll go anywhere at any time
Am I out of my head
Yeah, I'm really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
A smart man would run
I love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Seems that’s who I’ve become
I won’t deny, that’s why
I’m the crazy one

She calls me the crazy one…

She's the Venus with a gun...

She'd wrestle gators just for fun...

I'm the crazy one

She chases Mad Dog with Tums. (For the chorus)

The dancing naked line is bad. It's sounds like she's a stripper, which isn't illegal. For the "naked" to be illegal, it needs to be outdoors. And don't make it raunchy. Raunchy isn't funny. (Every HBO "comedy" special ever made.)

Try this...drives a tractor on a beer run.

Well if your aim is for plausibility, "Venus with a gun" doesn't work cuz how's she holding it, with her teeth?

I was thinking "statue" LOL...

never mind...

Killer song, btw...

I understood him to be referring to the goddess, not the statue.

I could do without that line, too, but...

Go with the tractor/lawnmower line, JAPOV...

I like nekid in Mexico line , I didn't get she was stripper
The government is illegal, So whats being a stripper so bad anyway
it's a fun line and original

Down in Mexico she’d cliff dived naked just for fun
I don't think in 2023 they say nekid anymore
You'd have to look at hits , I'm not sure
I never got paying girls to dance
you might as well see a hooker
There was guy in bank a few weeks go getting dollars for strippers
The manager and I had a good laugh . Hell just see a hooker , she agreed
She's black , I always enjoy talking to black people , they got better lingo
We joke around hey Girl from white people

Lol, where in the world are ya'll from?

"Venus with arms..." / "Venus with a gun..."
It's "Country Rock"! And girls with guns are sexy!

Regarding the "Arrested dancing naked" line... again, I refer you to my eX wife!

I realize it's a fine line in a song like this (I wrote it a long time ago), but I'd like it to be a song that'd appeal to everyone, not just Toothless Rufus with the fridge on his porch, the tarp on his roof, and the drowned lizard in the water dish of his three-legged dawg Critter.

*shakes head*

Suit yourself.

your back on your ex wife again ? Man let it go

Down in Mexico she’d cliff dived naked just for fun
Thats a fun line and leads to hook
Don't make me break out my new grammar book and get fancy on you
According to my southern Grandmother, I'm related to Ike Ike Eisenhower

It might be lacking what he did so crazy ?

ha ha toothless Rufus

So,
Striping down "nekkid" and jumping off a cliff in Mexico is more relatable than drunken indecent exposure...

YA'LL ARE NUTZ!

Learn to play-n-sing, Robert
Don't forget your Tums, Mad Dog

Despite what I think you think I think, I like "Venus with a gun"
(I crossed out what I said, earlier, to indicate I was imagining it all wrong in my head: I was seeing the statue not the Goddess, haha)

Carry on

I know you're quicker than Grouch n Mad Dog, Mike... "With her teeth" was witty, and a giveaway.

I'm not really aggravated... I just have a very course and dry sense of humor. Besides, I think Grouch mostly amuses himself lol.

Haven't quite got Ben figured yet... O_o

I'm like getting a new apple id , you never will
The old I'm going to Nashville line ?

Now she headed for Nashville. That's been said so many times . Its a worn out cliche .

Heading for Burning Man
In a broke down car

they're crazy and nuts .
Pitching songs ? Oh I gave that up 2 years ago
That's the biggest scam as Moses parting the red seas
Them pitch to publishers should be Pinocchio
You wanna hear your song on radio by major artist ?
Man that's the best bullshit story going .
The Bible belt ? Oh yeah
But leave that going to Nashville line in
Here's what a MAJOR publisher told me .
Your not getting your song done being a unknown writer
I don't care how good it is .
Your only chance is to write with up and coming artists that you find on Spotify and hope they hit
So thats deal , pitching to these 35 .00 publishers is a waste of time . We take PAY PAL , Oh you can count on that .
But you can get insight on whats going on in the industry

To pitch a song to a country singer, the singer has to feel involved in the song. It took me a while to grasp this years ago.

So, for a commercial country lyric, you make it personal for the singer. This is basic.

Yesterday, I was asked for a lyric for a female soul singer. I'm writing one, using the same principles.
I'll have a good chance of it living beyond JPF. I have 3 or 4 indie cuts in the pipeline.

its what THEY will sing a Nashville singer , So basically contrived lines to a point , Its not how you feel on life or whatever your writing about
Its how they will look at it. I don't go down that road anymore , But that's how its done The flag whiskey neon lights small towns all the US Bible Belt things
You can't say Jesus was a communist. Unless your the artist. Not that it matters , but publishers will probably tell you any hook with crazy in it has been done .

There's a reason "Going to Nashville" is such a relatable cliché...
Just ask MAB lol.

Yeah', studios have been making real good money selling "professional demos" to dreamers for as long as I can remember. Especially in Tennessee and California, where everybody has "industry connections"...(wink)

Songwriting is relatively easy. Finding the right tallent with the right "marketable charisma" is the real challenge. Problem is, Indi bands are "working/touring" bands, mostly making just enough money to share Motel rooms and have cheeseburgers-n-beer for breakfast.

That "Big Payday" has always been a 1:1,000,000,000,000 venture. Major artists don't need songwriters, they have industry lawyers with unlimited resources...

Then say going to Nashville
It’s not really crazy like Burning man people
Drugs and burning whatever they burn down
Dressed as Vikings or whatever

"Burning Man" would be a good line if it was more mainstream...

I never heard of Burning Man before last week lol.
Stranded in a muddy desert creek bed... Certainly sounds "spiritual"

What you talking about big hit with burning man in it
Diersk Bentley I think and Osborne brothers
I’m a little bit burning man line
Bunch of nuts in a desert burning things down on drugs .
Worshipping fire or something , not sure.
Maybe your ex wife goes
Nothing crazy about Nashville really
I think ever writer has at least one , I’m going to Nashville song
I’m taking a greyhound bus going to be big star
There all the same

was stuck in traffic, read this thread I like jalovs version but it's a bit higheay 51, although the blues dies work with the hook.

Keep or sweep but I got alot of tunes to work on.

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14654744

Great to hear your speaking voice!

Your singing voice ain't too shabby neither.

DOM!
Why aren't you doing acoustic phone demos?

I still hear more Springsteen than 38special

Sounds good man

Thanks Mike, soon as we saw it that came to me

Cause I don't have a daw in my car. .lol

Singing into a [naughty word removed] burner phone

I don't know if I call that a demo, it's a capella, that's how all my songs start

Springsteen wouldn't write a chorus like that, bon Jovi night

Yeah the sound of the voice might be Bruce, he made me a singer, the conviction.

But I think a pop country sing is in there with right treatment

Added a little electric rhythm...
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971

Lol... You don't need a DAW on your phone, Dom.
Just play and sing, we'll get the idea

Sounds good man , Ok were going to Nashville

Nor do I want a daw in a 39 dollar burner phone. I was stuck in traffic decided to write in my head, and just record it so I wouldn't forget.

Sounds good with electric, I think we had two different approaches. In mine, the love song idea comes through more, in yours it's more about just calling her nuts.

Two different interps....

Still... It's a shame you won't let us hear what's in your head.
I like 38sp

A little banjo... lol
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971