Who's Online Now
5 members (JAPOV, Raymond Byabazaire, Deej56, couchgrouch, 1 invisible), 4,403 guests, and 256 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/01/24 12:49 AM
Northside Tavern
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/29/24 12:23 PM
How to best search this message board
by JAPOV - 02/29/24 11:01 AM
Elizabeth Romine-Humphries, Cushinng, OK
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/29/24 10:44 AM
Suggested free recording program
by Sunset Poet - 02/29/24 09:29 AM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Raymond Byabazaire - 02/29/24 05:55 AM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Raymond Byabazaire - 02/29/24 05:54 AM
Afro Pop - Juliet Ssesanga
by Raymond Byabazaire - 02/29/24 03:29 AM
She's missing but she ain't missing him
by bennash - 02/28/24 07:06 PM
Tim Marra Music, Upstate New York
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/28/24 06:53 PM
Prohibition: Legendary Bourbon Bar, Chillicothe OH
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/28/24 03:25 PM
Stuck Here At The Light
by David Gill - 02/28/24 02:20 PM
Rocks At Heaven
by bennash - 02/28/24 11:07 AM
Man on the moon
by ckiphen - 02/28/24 10:51 AM
Local Spirits
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/28/24 06:15 AM
Sugarbeats Duo, Louisa, KY.
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/27/24 10:21 PM
Springfield Rocken Blues, Piqua, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/27/24 10:16 PM
Slocan Ramblers
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/27/24 07:57 AM
Nancy Manet
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/27/24 07:48 AM
BOSS VE-8 unboxing ;)
by JAPOV - 02/26/24 10:01 PM
Welcome to the Creative Challenge Message Board
by David Gill - 02/26/24 07:26 PM
Keith Crocker Music, Haverhill, MA
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/26/24 02:52 PM
Guess who's back .. back ... back ?
by David Gill - 02/26/24 11:15 AM
Afro Pop - Juliet Ssesanga
by Raymond Byabazaire - 02/26/24 09:00 AM
Hidden Ridge Camping, Lake Cumberland
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/24/24 06:02 PM
The Crow
by bennash - 02/24/24 04:35 PM
Pavillion at Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/24/24 11:52 AM
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone...
by bennash - 02/23/24 10:00 AM
Donovan Plant
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/22/24 07:25 AM
Back Room, Berkeley
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/21/24 10:10 PM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,159
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,979
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,112
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,935
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
VNORTH2 1,207
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,108
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
Tony A 1,016
David Gill 1,007
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
bennash 736
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 360
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 82
VNORTH2 44
bennash 36
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#1190142 09/13/23 07:39 PM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
I must admit, the Grouch surprised me with this one smile
Just a quick acoustic rough...
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971

She Calls Me the Crazy One ©2016 Robert George BMI

She once drank a flaming cocktail
Made of Cuban rum
But she calls me the crazy one

She chases after doorstep preachers
With my old shotgun
Then she calls me the crazy one

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Am I out of my head
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Down in Mexico she’d cliff dived nekkid just for fun
And she calls me the crazy one

Now she headed for Nashville
In a car that barely runs
But I’m the crazy one

O a love you can predict
Is a love that rarely sticks

So, am I losing my mind
To need a girl who’ll go anywhere at any time
Am I out of my head
To love a lady I can’t label or define

Yeah, am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Am I out of my head
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Well, if that’s who I’ve become
I won’t deny that’s why
I’m the crazy one
She calls me the crazy one…

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
It's definitely worth working on. I don't know what your recording capabilities are.

Can you add a fake banjo, shakers, tambourine and some greasy guitar licks?
Maybe a weird sound effect after the 2nd "crazy one"?

Maybe delete that last chorus in favor of couple of tags like, "crazy as a bankrobber in Metropolis..."

Think it over.

I'm busy in the AM, but I'll check back asap.

Ps...I wouldn't have written this now, haha. I know some people that'd be offended by that preacher line. On the other hand, I've experienced some unpleasant doorstep preachers...

Last edited by couchgrouch; 09/13/23 10:32 PM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Now ya'll are talking my lingo
Good song guys
Door step preachers
Bell . Mat, either work

Last edited by bennash; 09/14/23 06:02 AM.
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
She's a lot like my eX... wink

Yeah', we'll do this one up!

The chorus sings real well, that's where I started...
A couple lines in the verses are a bit cluttered though, think about it. This is just a one hour one off so options are open

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
She once lit her hair on fire
Drinkin' flaming rum... wink

She chases off doorstep(doorbell?) preachers
With a shotgun...

She got arrested dancin' naked
Just for fun...?

Last edited by JAPOV; 09/14/23 12:46 AM.
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 360
Likes: 7
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 360
Likes: 7
Tony,
the song is really cool. I think you could make the hook line (Yeah, I'm the crazy one) even stickier by getting it to rhyme with the 3rd line of the chorus. Something like ...

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Should I stay or should I run
And love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

or maybe

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Is it smart or is it dumb / I know it might be very dumb / My common sense is going numb / I feel comfortably numb
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Just a thought.

All the best - Robert

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Do we have to keep hearing about your crazy ex Tony, We could have a stand off on ex wifes
Lets hope their in therapy like we should be. If you check all the boxes they ask , It could cost us $50,000 a hour
Whats your preface well somebody over 40 , I don't think a shrink 30 knows anything yet. I'm thinking on getting one 70 like me
I'm sure the first statement will be , Well we woke up this morning. So whats the goal , To not be crazy when we die
I'm not sure on the life coach , I have enough ambition , But they have to know more then the 15 shrinks i've seen
Like the priest shrink , Well maybe your addicted to voices , Really maybe you should be a plumber

Last edited by bennash; 09/14/23 02:19 PM.
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
Tony, the first two suggestions are fine.

Try...she cliffdives for fun. Street races for fun...

Need coffee...


Wrestles gators...

Last edited by couchgrouch; 09/14/23 08:00 AM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Originally Posted by Rob B.
Tony,
the song is really cool. I think you could make the hook line (Yeah, I'm the crazy one) even stickier by getting it to rhyme with the 3rd line of the chorus. Something like ...

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Should I stay or should I run
And love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

or maybe

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
Is it smart or is it dumb / I know it might be very dumb / My common sense is going numb / I feel comfortably numb
To love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Just a thought.

All the best - Robert

Very good, Rob!
Yes, I thought about that as well... the chorus needs a better rhyming hook.

I'm just trying hard not to offend Grouch's sensibilities again lol wink

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Originally Posted by bennash
Do we have to keep hearing about your crazy ex Tony, We could have a stand off on ex wifes
Lets hope their in therapy like we should be. If you check all the boxes they ask , It could cost us $50,000 a hour
Whats your preface well somebody over 40 , I don't think a shrink 30 knows anything yet. I'm thinking on getting one 70 like me
I'm sure the first statement will be , Well we woke up this morning. So whats the goal , To not be crazy when we die
Lol...
That's an admirable goal, but who gets to define "crazy"? wink

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Originally Posted by couchgrouch
Tony, the first two suggestions are fine.

Try...she cliffdives for fun. Street races for fun...

Need coffee...


Wrestles gators...
Wrestles gators naked just for fun..? lol

Come on Grouch, she's a party girl!
"Arrested, naked"... I like the internal rhyme wink

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 360
Likes: 7
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 360
Likes: 7
Tony,
you got to hear what it sounds like with the rhyme to decide if that works or not. It's a pity you didn't record this one with AI. Lyric changes would have been easy with that software.

All the best - Robert

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Yes, but I'm a player... I go by feel. I've got my guitar in hand right now wink

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Another question; Should I do an electric "country rock" version?

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Probably Clinically depressed God I guess . Or Jesus that looks like Richard Pyror
Black people always depict the Devil as white
I think all three could use a dog in there life

Last edited by bennash; 09/14/23 01:56 PM.
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
Do a country rock version. Bring in a banjo after the 1st chorus, if you can.

To me, the chorus is the "insane" lines. If you need an extra line, don't say "comfortably numb". Say "she's/I'm Tequila the Hun, I'm a good for something bum, I'm the crazy one"


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Originally Posted by bennash
Probably Clinically depressed God I guess . Or Jesus that looks like Richard Pyror
Black people always depict the Devil as white
I think all three could use a dog in there life
I like to think that God is going surprise everyone when He reveals the "actual" commonality in all of us wink

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Probably who knows , its all comedy central to me
Well unless you listen to news reporters that look like Husler magazine models
And the worlds ending 24'7. I'm not sure if I should run a warm bath with candles and listen to them
What was that sweet heart a another war is breaking out ?
God does not scare me as much as my pissed off wife does
They both deal in fear I guess.
its a bit much I bought to many bottles of Spaghetti sauce, I think your over reacting

Last edited by bennash; 09/14/23 02:48 PM.
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Originally Posted by couchgrouch
"she's tequila the Hun"
Lol, that's awesome!
I just wish tequila wasn't so cliché...

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
That's how puns work...you bend a cliche. Use it...


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
She once lit her hair on fire
Drinkin' flaming rum
But she calls me the crazy one

She chases off doorbell preachers
With a shotgun
Then she calls me the crazy one

Am I really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
She's Tequila the Hun
I love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

She got arrested dancin' naked
Just for fun
And she calls me the crazy one

Now she headed for Nashville
In a car that barely runs
But I’m the crazy one

O'a love you can predict
Is a love that rarely sticks

So, am I losing my mind
To need a girl who’ll go anywhere at any time
Am I out of my head
Yeah, I'm really insane
To want a girl who’ll do anything at any time
A smart man would run
I love a lady I can’t label or define
Yeah’ I’m the crazy one

Seems that’s who I’ve become
I won’t deny, that’s why
I’m the crazy one

She calls me the crazy one…

She's the Venus with a gun...

She'd wrestle gators just for fun...

I'm the crazy one

smile

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
She chases Mad Dog with Tums. (For the chorus)

The dancing naked line is bad. It's sounds like she's a stripper, which isn't illegal. For the "naked" to be illegal, it needs to be outdoors. And don't make it raunchy. Raunchy isn't funny. (Every HBO "comedy" special ever made.)

Try this...drives a tractor on a beer run.

Last edited by couchgrouch; 09/14/23 03:58 PM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Originally Posted by couchgrouch
She chases Mad Dog with Tums. (For the chorus)

The dancing naked line is bad. It's sounds like she's a stripper, which isn't illegal. For the "naked" to be illegal, it needs to be outdoors. And don't make it raunchy. Raunchy isn't funny. (Every HBO "comedy" special ever made.)

Try this...drives a tractor on a beer run.

Well if your aim is for plausibility, "Venus with a gun" doesn't work cuz how's she holding it, with her teeth?

I was thinking "statue" LOL...

never mind...

Killer song, btw...

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/14/23 04:26 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
I understood him to be referring to the goddess, not the statue.

I could do without that line, too, but...

Go with the tractor/lawnmower line, JAPOV...


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
I like nekid in Mexico line , I didn't get she was stripper
The government is illegal, So whats being a stripper so bad anyway
it's a fun line and original

Down in Mexico she’d cliff dived naked just for fun
I don't think in 2023 they say nekid anymore
You'd have to look at hits , I'm not sure
I never got paying girls to dance
you might as well see a hooker
There was guy in bank a few weeks go getting dollars for strippers
The manager and I had a good laugh . Hell just see a hooker , she agreed
She's black , I always enjoy talking to black people , they got better lingo
We joke around hey Girl from white people

Last edited by bennash; 09/14/23 05:17 PM.
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Lol, where in the world are ya'll from?

"Venus with arms..." / "Venus with a gun..."
It's "Country Rock"! And girls with guns are sexy!

Regarding the "Arrested dancing naked" line... again, I refer you to my eX wife!

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
I realize it's a fine line in a song like this (I wrote it a long time ago), but I'd like it to be a song that'd appeal to everyone, not just Toothless Rufus with the fridge on his porch, the tarp on his roof, and the drowned lizard in the water dish of his three-legged dawg Critter.

*shakes head*

Suit yourself.


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
your back on your ex wife again ? Man let it go

Down in Mexico she’d cliff dived naked just for fun
Thats a fun line and leads to hook
Don't make me break out my new grammar book and get fancy on you
According to my southern Grandmother, I'm related to Ike Ike Eisenhower

It might be lacking what he did so crazy ?

Last edited by bennash; 09/14/23 11:38 PM.
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
ha ha toothless Rufus

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
So,
Striping down "nekkid" and jumping off a cliff in Mexico is more relatable than drunken indecent exposure...

YA'LL ARE NUTZ!

Learn to play-n-sing, Robert
Don't forget your Tums, Mad Dog

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Originally Posted by JAPOV
Lol, where in the world are ya'll from?

"Venus with arms..." / "Venus with a gun..."
It's "Country Rock"! And girls with guns are sexy!

Regarding the "Arrested dancing naked" line... again, I refer you to my eX wife!

Despite what I think you think I think, I like "Venus with a gun" crazy
(I crossed out what I said, earlier, to indicate I was imagining it all wrong in my head: I was seeing the statue not the Goddess, haha)

Carry on wink


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
I know you're quicker than Grouch n Mad Dog, Mike... "With her teeth" was witty, and a giveaway.

I'm not really aggravated... I just have a very course and dry sense of humor. Besides, I think Grouch mostly amuses himself lol.

Haven't quite got Ben figured yet... O_o

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
I'm like getting a new apple id , you never will
The old I'm going to Nashville line ?

Now she headed for Nashville. That's been said so many times . Its a worn out cliche .

Heading for Burning Man
In a broke down car

they're crazy and nuts .
Pitching songs ? Oh I gave that up 2 years ago
That's the biggest scam as Moses parting the red seas
Them pitch to publishers should be Pinocchio
You wanna hear your song on radio by major artist ?
Man that's the best bullshit story going .
The Bible belt ? Oh yeah
But leave that going to Nashville line in
Here's what a MAJOR publisher told me .
Your not getting your song done being a unknown writer
I don't care how good it is .
Your only chance is to write with up and coming artists that you find on Spotify and hope they hit
So thats deal , pitching to these 35 .00 publishers is a waste of time . We take PAY PAL , Oh you can count on that .
But you can get insight on whats going on in the industry

Last edited by bennash; 09/15/23 09:02 AM.
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
C
Top 25 Poster
Online Content
Top 25 Poster
C
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 5
To pitch a song to a country singer, the singer has to feel involved in the song. It took me a while to grasp this years ago.

So, for a commercial country lyric, you make it personal for the singer. This is basic.

Yesterday, I was asked for a lyric for a female soul singer. I'm writing one, using the same principles.
I'll have a good chance of it living beyond JPF. I have 3 or 4 indie cuts in the pipeline.

Last edited by couchgrouch; 09/15/23 08:05 AM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
its what THEY will sing a Nashville singer , So basically contrived lines to a point , Its not how you feel on life or whatever your writing about
Its how they will look at it. I don't go down that road anymore , But that's how its done The flag whiskey neon lights small towns all the US Bible Belt things
You can't say Jesus was a communist. Unless your the artist. Not that it matters , but publishers will probably tell you any hook with crazy in it has been done .

Last edited by bennash; 09/15/23 11:03 AM.
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
There's a reason "Going to Nashville" is such a relatable cliché...
Just ask MAB lol.

Yeah', studios have been making real good money selling "professional demos" to dreamers for as long as I can remember. Especially in Tennessee and California, where everybody has "industry connections"...(wink)

Songwriting is relatively easy. Finding the right tallent with the right "marketable charisma" is the real challenge. Problem is, Indi bands are "working/touring" bands, mostly making just enough money to share Motel rooms and have cheeseburgers-n-beer for breakfast.

That "Big Payday" has always been a 1:1,000,000,000,000 venture. Major artists don't need songwriters, they have industry lawyers with unlimited resources...

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Then say going to Nashville
It’s not really crazy like Burning man people
Drugs and burning whatever they burn down
Dressed as Vikings or whatever

Last edited by bennash; 09/15/23 02:54 PM.
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
"Burning Man" would be a good line if it was more mainstream...

I never heard of Burning Man before last week lol.
Stranded in a muddy desert creek bed... Certainly sounds "spiritual" wink

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
What you talking about big hit with burning man in it
Diersk Bentley I think and Osborne brothers
I’m a little bit burning man line
Bunch of nuts in a desert burning things down on drugs .
Worshipping fire or something , not sure.
Maybe your ex wife goes
Nothing crazy about Nashville really
I think ever writer has at least one , I’m going to Nashville song
I’m taking a greyhound bus going to be big star
There all the same

Last edited by bennash; 09/15/23 07:01 PM.
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
F
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
F
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
was stuck in traffic, read this thread I like jalovs version but it's a bit higheay 51, although the blues dies work with the hook.

Keep or sweep but I got alot of tunes to work on.

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14654744

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Great to hear your speaking voice!

Your singing voice ain't too shabby neither. smile

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/15/23 06:42 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
DOM!
Why aren't you doing acoustic phone demos?

I still hear more Springsteen than 38special wink

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Sounds good man

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
F
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
F
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Great to hear your speaking voice!

Your singing voice ain't too shabby neither. smile

Thanks Mike, soon as we saw it that came to me

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
F
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
F
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by JAPOV
DOM!
Why aren't you doing acoustic phone demos?

I still hear more Springsteen than 38special wink

Cause I don't have a daw in my car. .lol

Singing into a [naughty word removed] burner phone

I don't know if I call that a demo, it's a capella, that's how all my songs start

Springsteen wouldn't write a chorus like that, bon Jovi night

Yeah the sound of the voice might be Bruce, he made me a singer, the conviction.

But I think a pop country sing is in there with right treatment

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Added a little electric rhythm...
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971

Lol... You don't need a DAW on your phone, Dom.
Just play and sing, we'll get the idea wink

Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 736
Likes: 36
Sounds good man , Ok were going to Nashville

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
F
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
F
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,979
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by JAPOV
Added a little electric rhythm...
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971

Lol... You don't need a DAW on your phone, Dom.
Just play and sing, we'll get the idea wink

Nor do I want a daw in a 39 dollar burner phone. I was stuck in traffic decided to write in my head, and just record it so I wouldn't forget.

Sounds good with electric, I think we had two different approaches. In mine, the love song idea comes through more, in yours it's more about just calling her nuts.

Two different interps....

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 09/16/23 07:02 AM.
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Originally Posted by JAPOV
Added a little electric rhythm...
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14653971

Lol... You don't need a DAW on your phone, Dom.
Just play and sing, we'll get the idea wink

Nor do I want a daw in a 39 dollar burner phone. I was stuck in traffic decided to write in my head, and just record it so I wouldn't forget.

Sounds good with electric, I think we had two different approaches. In mine, the love song idea comes through more, in yours it's more about just calling her nuts.

Two different interps....
Still... It's a shame you won't let us hear what's in your head.
I like 38sp wink

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81
JAPOV Online Happy OP
Top 100 Poster
OP Online Happy
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,935
Likes: 81

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa, Jasmine_Kurb
21,469 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,668
Posts1,160,732
Members21,469
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"I left my home, only to find a new home, full of heart, soul and dreams. Then, I left that new home, heart intact, but much stronger and energized from the experience" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
There are no members with birthdays on this day.
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5