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#1179614 08/21/21 12:05 PM
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NUTHIN'
(All I want is nuthin')

By Marty 2021

Link is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUvnL7nFYrM

This is a guitar vocal done in a good studio with high quality mics. In a couple of months I plan to add production with VSTs. Any suggestions in that regard are welcome. Any sincere critiques are welcome.

1 member likes this: Guy E. Trepanier
Sunset Poet #1179615 08/21/21 12:47 PM
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Dude! That's really good, especially the melody. Great, soulful vocal.

Here's one piece of sincere advice...that line in the chorus, "just to sit here feelin' fine." Replace that. That line needs to pack more of a punch.

Otherwise, you have a winner.

And beware of overproduction. It's good as it is.


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Sunset Poet #1179617 08/21/21 01:03 PM
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You're at your best when you do these reflective inward songs.

I think Couch gives good advice about the chorus, the hook is a great hook, but its let down by that line...in my opinion. In order for a want of nothing, SOMETHING had to be happening prior to that...

One other thing i thought of was when you sing all i want is nothing..... Stop completely, then I noticed you ended it that way. But it would be a much more effective hook if you stopped the strumming... ALL i want is nothing....space.... demonstrating nothing.... Just an idea

The sound is good, but this is your element, can still up it a notch or two i believe.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 08/21/21 01:06 PM.
Sunset Poet #1179618 08/21/21 07:05 PM
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-I would add, "I've got nuthin' on my mind" to the outro smile
-Some minimal melodic lead phrases
-Some very minimal percussion, perhaps just tap on the guitar...

Nice one Marty! smile

Sunset Poet #1179619 08/21/21 07:20 PM
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Definitely a keeper! Agree with another comment that you don’t really need to further adorn this with any accompaniment.

Sunset Poet #1179649 08/23/21 06:52 PM
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I tell you Sunset, this is one fine tune. It's one of those songs that people sing because it's about them..the hook is outstanding and I love how you quiet everything down close to the end...please don't mess too much with what you have here


Steve


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Sunset Poet #1179767 08/27/21 02:47 PM
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Robert, Dominic,Tony,Craig, Steve....
Thank you all very much for commenting and complimenting on the song.

Robert...When I saw your compliments I thought that someone might have hacked your account. wink

I am not certain that I agree with you about the line in the chorus. And I am not certain that I don't. There is no reason to ever consider my songs finished. And it is going to be a couple of months before I can dig back into this song. In the meantime I'll try to come up with something that adds impact to the song on that line.

Question...the song is a conversation between two people. The singer is asking someone to relax and assuring them that there is no agenda.

Topically what might you introduce for the listener to think about on this line.

Thanks again,

Marty


Sunset Poet #1179772 08/27/21 03:42 PM
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I think the idea was that if that the hook all i want is nuthin can have a bigger meaning if you use it as a central theme. And center the song around IT, as opposed to IT being centered around you.

In your version its just a simple statement, but the potential for it to be a bigger hook might be there

Then again, laid back and not over thought is your style so I dont know.

All I want is nuthin, can mean several things based on what is being said. You are saying you just want a simple time with this woman, no worries or strings attached. But does nuthin really mean that?

nuthin can mean, you dont want anything from her, you are DONE with her.

can also mean nuthin in a sense of, you want quietness, and time away from the hustle and bustle, which is what I thought you were trying to say.

I guess if you zeroed in on what the NUTHIN is, you could write the story around that.

and I think that's what CG meant. But who knows....


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 08/27/21 03:49 PM.
Sunset Poet #1179774 08/27/21 03:58 PM
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Can a person 'rethink' inspiration?

This reminds me of Scott Avett....very good! (check his use of 'nuthin' on youtube song name is Untitled #5).

Bill

Last edited by Bill Draper; 08/27/21 03:59 PM.
Sunset Poet #1179778 08/27/21 04:12 PM
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Here's what I mean and it's very simple. If your song is called "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and that line is in the chorus, you're golden. Unless the rest of your chorus lines were written by Fiddy, you're probably fine.

But...

If you have a bland title (like a lot of the songs on the internet) or even a woman's name, a town etc., you should have a grabber for a line adjacent to the hook. Either that or sing the lines like they're the wisdom of Solomon even though they're not like Dylan does in Sad Eyed Lady.

I'm not saying what it should be, it should just be stronger than what you have.

Recently a poster rewrote my lines in a comment and relocated a punchline in either a chorus or a vs., I forget which.
That person does not know how to structure a lyric.
Lyrics should have peaks and valleys, just like books and screenplays.

Don't overthink it. It just needs to be punchier than what
you have. It'll come to you. And there's nothing wrong with your title. Townes has one called "Nothin'".

Last edited by couchgrouch; 08/27/21 04:36 PM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
Sunset Poet #1179779 08/27/21 04:17 PM
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I rethink inspiration all the time. Im struggling with a song i wrote musically completely in my head, away from any sintrument. So i laid down the drums, and i have the drums and melody, im singing over it. and i need a one word chorus/hook, to break into it, and its alluding me

Two syllables. I tried Hoorah, Today, You Say, Rene, touche, but none of it besides the girls name is giving me the vibe i need to finish it

I have completely changed lyrics to some songs, taken bridges from one song, and putting it into another song, and being amazed how well it fit, and wouldnt have thought of that unless i had the bridge from a different song.

Creativity is strange, for me it doesnt always come in one burst, alot of times im square peggin into round holes until it fits

Been doin alot of part changing lately. One good thing about using programmed drums and digital recording is, you can completely change a chorus or a bridge, and not have to junk the whole thing




Last edited by Fdemetrio; 08/27/21 04:19 PM.
Sunset Poet #1179781 08/27/21 04:32 PM
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Sunset,

Beautiful.

I think some strings might be nice coming in about halfway or a subtle piano--that's it. I would rather here the guitar fade with strings/piano and you just humming a bit. This song pulls you into a good place, and ending at a cliff IMO wakes you up rather than letting you remain pensive. JMHO. I'll defer to the others on lyric sugs, but the music and vocals truly captured me.

Great, great write and performed beautifully.

steady-eddie

Sunset Poet #1179784 08/27/21 05:26 PM
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The way you have constructed the song...the laid back vocal, the simplicity of the music and a thought provoking lyric...people are going to stop and listen to it and listen to it again......a lot of people want what you are offering and thinking what you are singing... IMHO the line"just to sit here feelin' fine" defines the song... even how you sing the word fine is just how it should be sung......I wouldn't touch it

Steve


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Sunset Poet #1179788 08/27/21 08:25 PM
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So what was it that you liked about Couch? I thought you had liked the hook, it may get lost in the title nuthin. ,,,, All I want is Nuthin, together makes a better hook.

But you did say you liked it, now im not seein what you liked?

I liked the delivery, and I do think its a good hook, if written TO

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 08/27/21 08:26 PM.
couchgrouch #1179792 08/27/21 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch

Recently a poster rewrote my lines in a comment and relocated a punchline in either a chorus or a vs., I forget which.
That person does not know how to structure a lyric.
Lyrics should have peaks and valleys, just like books and screenplays.


HA! THAT WAS ME!!
And I'll do it again too! Just watch me smile

Sunset Poet #1179818 08/28/21 02:37 PM
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Marty,

So you went to write a song & all you got was “Nuthin”?

I’ve heard this a few times and I love the recording of the guitar. The honesty of the LYRIC just makes it all weave together.

I think just the mere fact the song is titled “Nuthin” naturally dictates the song be cut with a sparse arrangement…

I would maybe hire a great piano player to play on a real grand piano if they have one in the studio you used. Using a real a violin player would be a good choice too...…Bring the violin in with the acoustic on the intro and then have it lay out… Then come in with the Grand Piano playing mostly fills around your VOX & guitar phrasings. Let the song build with only the acoustic first & then bring in the piano. Then the violin can come back in again after the piano gets showcased for a little bit for added ear candy to the end of the tune…


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
Steve Altonian #1179843 08/29/21 03:41 PM
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Marty

Having half of something is almost rounded off to Nuthin'--In my drinkin' days, Crown Royal would whittle the problems down to Nuthin'--I have a friend, BILLY, that ordered 13 cases of pumpkin 25 proof, to eases HIS MIND, and let him enjoy Nuthin'-

Love the IDEA of Nuthin"

Write on!

Mackie

Sunset Poet #1179928 09/01/21 08:21 PM
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Bill, Eddie, Steve (VN), Steve A, Mackie

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to comment. Much appreciated.

Steve (VN) ...You and I see this song the same I think. It's is an emotional drift floating through a state of mind and the punchline comes with "All I want is Nuthin." However I'm going to take a look at Robert's suggestion to see what else I might come up with. Cant hurt anything to take a look.Thanks again for posting.

Steve A...I'm pretty much on the same wavelength as you regarding the music.

Thanks again to all,

Marty

Sunset Poet #1184277 02/04/23 05:32 PM
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Enjoyed this, have you gotten back to it? Some nice suggestions on adding piano and violin but works fine as is really nice laid-back feel.

chesterb #1184281 02/04/23 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by chesterb
Enjoyed this, have you gotten back to it? Some nice suggestions on adding piano and violin but works fine as is really nice laid-back feel.

Thanks Chester.
I have gotten back to it. Been working on it for months in between work and learning the softwares. Figure to have it done in 2-4 weeks.
I recorded this in a good studio here in town, but discarded it. I'm redoing it at home because I can redo it as much as I want without running the cost up. I have a few DAW internet "mentors." One of them said, (paraphrased) "I can record on a $150 mic and then a $5000 mic and it still sounds like me." Proves to be true in my case too. There is a difference, but 99% of it is how well you actually sang.

I'll put it up when done. Thanks for taking the time.

Martin

Sunset Poet #1184282 02/04/23 07:39 PM
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Nothing wrong with your singing Martin. I'll be looking for it. I've been going back through all these MP3's to give a listen and man it takes a long time. Alot of the links don't work anymore so that cut some time. Anyways I saw in another thread that you're an architect. I look at blueprints 5 days a week, I hope you're better than some I get. I work from home for a company that's based near Dallas "Builders First Source." I download prints and design roof, floor trusses and wall panels. I Got too old to be out building houses. Back to your song: I don't think you have to add much of anything.

chesterb

chesterb #1184283 02/04/23 08:17 PM
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Chester

A few years ago, I think that I recall hiring Builder's First Source (maybe Choice) to do a blast test on a house. Do you all do that too?
I'm 70. I spent most of my life doing design-build. These days, I quit all of the hell that comes from dealing with the subs and just do architecture for people. Not every day is a party but it aint half the hell it used to be. wink

I used to buy from AMERICAN TRUSS here in Houston if you're familiar with them. Guy named Jack.
I try hard to do good plans. No one seems to actually care to learn what they need to in order to do their job anymore. Not architects, not anybody.
The whole civilization seems to be based on participation trophies now.

Martin

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I think it's a lovely, soothing piece of work.
There probably is a better line than "feeling fine". Maybe, "to soothe a weary mind". Maybe it isn't that important.

I don't think you need a big production on this. A cello might work.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

Vicarn #1184314 02/06/23 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
I think it's a lovely, soothing piece of work.
There probably is a better line than "feeling fine". Maybe, "to soothe a weary mind". Maybe it isn't that important.

I don't think you need a big production on this. A cello might work.

Vic

Thanks for your comments Vic. You nailed my intent. It is the singer assuring someone that they have nothing to fear from them, because the singer wants nothing beyond a little shared down time.

For better or worse, I'm afraid I've already loaded it up with instrumentation. All that is left is to redo the vocals and mix it.
I did change the line to "sip a little wine." That's not a game changer, but it opens the possibility of promoting it to Texas wineries in the Hill Country...if I actually have any time for that.

Thanks again,
Marty

Sunset Poet #1184367 02/08/23 07:59 PM
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Glad this came back up marty...definitely a good one

Oh and if Couch said it...best to consider it smile

Last edited by John Voorpostel; 02/08/23 08:00 PM.

If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

Sunset Poet #1184370 02/08/23 08:40 PM
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Simply beautiful, really really like, melody is awesome and fits the words perfectly. 💕😊Kudos, Sunset Poet.

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Originally Posted by John Voorpostel
Glad this came back up marty...definitely a good one

Oh and if Couch said it...best to consider it smile
'
Thanks John.
I agree. When I saw a compliment from Robert on one of my songs, I assumed that the alarm would go off at any moment and I would awaken, because it couldn't actually have happened. It had to be a dream. smile Or someone had hacked his account. smile Yet, thank you to you and to Robert for the encouraging words.

Marty

Marilyn Oakley #1184385 02/09/23 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Marilyn Oakley
Simply beautiful, really really like, melody is awesome and fits the words perfectly. 💕😊Kudos, Sunset Poet.

Thanks Marilyn.
Made my day.

Marty

1 member likes this: Marilyn Oakley
Sunset Poet #1184462 02/12/23 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
Chester

A few years ago, I think that I recall hiring Builder's First Source (maybe Choice) to do a blast test on a house. Do you all do that too?
I'm 70. I spent most of my life doing design-build. These days, I quit all of the hell that comes from dealing with the subs and just do architecture for people. Not every day is a party but it aint half the hell it used to be. wink

I used to buy from AMERICAN TRUSS here in Houston if you're familiar with them. Guy named Jack.
I try hard to do good plans. No one seems to actually care to learn what they need to in order to do their job anymore. Not architects, not anybody.
The whole civilization seems to be based on participation trophies now.

Martin


Listened to this again with headphones. this is really good Martin. No haven't heard of American truss, my company is based near Dallas, but I work out of Va. Yeah I think things started to change about the time my son started playing baseball. Everyone got a trophy. Again, really enjoyed the listen.

Sunset Poet #1184468 02/13/23 12:15 PM
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Thanks again Chester.
I'm going back and forth on all sorts of stuff as I try to up the production on this. Before I upload to DKID, I may put it up here to get some feedback on how the recording comes across to different people. I've listened to it so much that I cant hear it anymore. wink

Thanks for the encouragement.
Marty

Sunset Poet #1184475 02/13/23 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
Thanks again Chester.
I'm going back and forth on all sorts of stuff as I try to up the production on this. Before I upload to DKID, I may put it up here to get some feedback on how the recording comes across to different people. I've listened to it so much that I cant hear it anymore. wink

Thanks for the encouragement.
Marty

I hear ya Marty but you have something really good to work with. Me I'm going through old lyrics and what I used to call open mic in my basement practice tapes. Some are really bad I won't post. Trying to make them better this time. Really don't know how Chet made the demos I did have done sound good. I've stared at them too long now, putting them to the side at the moment. Good luck and please post the finished song.

chesterb

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I agree with Couch, on the line in the chorus AND it's fine as an unplugged track. If it were me, I'd leave it as is after a lyric correction.......BUT......even with said lyric left as is....it's not a deal breaker to my ears.

well done.

Sunset Poet #1184573 02/18/23 09:44 AM
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Thanks Mac

I'm afraid that I'm in the final stages of loading up the production. Doing so provides me hours of enjoyment. Regardless of how it comes out, when finished...it is still just a song that I wrote. If it turns out bad or worse than it might have been....no actual harm done.

Nonetheless. I appreciate your comments and insight.

Martin


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