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#1184008 01/23/23 11:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Casual Observer
OP Offline
Casual Observer
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2


Love and hate, rolled into one,
not really here, not really gone.
Pain consumes me bite by bite.
Darkness swallows hopeful light.

I am your sponge,
for now... for now...

(VERSE 2)
Must I pay for undone deeds?
Anger grows, and my soul bleeds.
Blood comes out of my eyes.
Angels fall, but no one cries...


(CHORUS)
You throw your hate.
I pick it up.
You spill your dirt.
I soak it up.

I am your sponge.
I take in everything you throw at me,
and everything turns into pain.
That pain, someday, might conquer me...

(VERSE 3)
I am everything you fear.
You ignore what you can't feel.
Things aren't true, until they're done.
You say things, but then, you run.

I am your sponge,
for now... for now...

(VERSE 4)
Innocence just gets abused.
Love or hate, I'm so confused.
Blood comes out of their eyes.
Angels die, and then, the cries.

(CHORUS) X 2


Michaels Lyric on Spotify and other streaming platforms )))
Michaels_Lyric #1184010 01/24/23 03:48 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,657
Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
Online Content
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,657
Likes: 30
Interesting voice, voices. A persona comes across.
Enunciation is of strategic importance. Every sound has 'Hook Factor'. An Introductory Movement serves that specific function, Hooking listener interest.
An Intro need only be long enough to serve that function. I read somewhere that 7 second Intros are becoming common.
Words, the Lyric, has Hook Factor in the Melody, the timbre of the vocalization, that persona of a Singer-Character a listener can perceive.
But that means the listener has to 'receive' what the singer 'sends'. Singers often slur from one Note to another, and word meanings get lost. They're executing Notes, but the word meaning is sacrificed to favor Note execution. Letting each word/Note have its space, deliberately 'stopping' to allow that fractional 'rest' to separate the words, the Notes, is worthy of study.

19 second Introductory Movement

Love and hate, rolled into one, Enunciation: Love AND hate
not really here, not really gone.
Pain consumes me bite by bite. Voice drops off in volume at start, 'sent', hard to 'receive'
Darkness swallows hopeful light.

I am your Sponge, (I capitalize the Title, THE Hook.)
for now... for now... Love this Repetition. I, a listener, have to find meaning in it.

(VERSE 2)
Must I pay, for undone deeds? Comma, represents the 'rest' between Notes. Listen and put them in. Use exclamation points for exclamatory Lines.
Anger grows, and my soul bleeds. Emphasize 'My'.
Blood comes, out of my eyes.
Angels fall, but no one cries...


(CHORUS)
You throw your hate. Exclamation point!
I pick it up.
You spill your dirt. Pitchy? Which I take to mean off pitch. Or is it?
I soak it up.

I am your Sponge.
I take in everything you throw at me,
and everything turns into pain. (I don't hear this 'and'. Omit it. The line reads the same without it. Unclutter the line in the mouth of the singer.
That pain, someday, might conquer me... Enunciation: You could omit 'That'. Omission of that word might enable more focused enunciation of all the other words.

(VERSE 3)
I am every thing you fear. Everything, two words.
You ignore what you can't feel.
Things aren't true, until they're done.
You say things, but then, you run.

I am your Sponge,
for now... for now...

(VERSE 4)
Innocence, just gets abused.
Love or hate, I'm so confused.
Blood comes out of their eyes.
Angels die, and then, the cries.

(CHORUS) X 2


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
1 member likes this: Michaels_Lyric
Michaels_Lyric #1184035 01/24/23 06:30 PM
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,939
Likes: 9
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,939
Likes: 9
This was a very enjoyable listen. The lyric is intriguing and strikes just the right balance in making the listener think but not being obscure or hard to grasp. I also like the vocal production. Great job!

1 member likes this: Michaels_Lyric
Michaels_Lyric #1184038 01/24/23 11:46 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,791
Likes: 11
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Online Content
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,791
Likes: 11
Michael,

I really liked the vibe of this music. Vocals have a sweet tone but I do agree with a lot of what Gary said about the gal could in places emphasize key words a bit more.

I'm also in agreement (with pop music) today that long intros are not an advantage as listeners want a song to get going a bit faster--that's just the world's nature. I find myself moving/using my mouse to skip long intros at times out of impatience--not a good thing really, but a truism. Having said this, I do like intros, but for launching a song, but not being such an entity unto itself. Yes there are famous intros with pop/rock songs, but they usually classics that we know what is coming therefore impatience is superseded by anticipation! I will also grant you there still are folks that dig long intros, and you may be one and its NOT a bad thing at all, but just something for consideration when you're trying to get a new song listened to.

Nice production & vocals for sure--I enjoyed this song and would be one that I could listen to often!

steady-eddie

1 member likes this: Michaels_Lyric
Gary E. Andrews #1184041 01/25/23 03:22 AM
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Casual Observer
OP Offline
Casual Observer
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Very honored to have your comments and your comments ))) I hope that someday you will like one of my songs. Not to excuse this song, but I can pay very, very little to the vocalist and to musicians/producers. Again, thank you for listening.

Originally Posted by Gary E. Andrews
Interesting voice, voices. A persona comes across.
Enunciation is of strategic importance. Every sound has 'Hook Factor'. An Introductory Movement serves that specific function, Hooking listener interest.
An Intro need only be long enough to serve that function. I read somewhere that 7 second Intros are becoming common.
Words, the Lyric, has Hook Factor in the Melody, the timbre of the vocalization, that persona of a Singer-Character a listener can perceive.
But that means the listener has to 'receive' what the singer 'sends'. Singers often slur from one Note to another, and word meanings get lost. They're executing Notes, but the word meaning is sacrificed to favor Note execution. Letting each word/Note have its space, deliberately 'stopping' to allow that fractional 'rest' to separate the words, the Notes, is worthy of study.

19 second Introductory Movement

Love and hate, rolled into one, Enunciation: Love AND hate
not really here, not really gone.
Pain consumes me bite by bite. Voice drops off in volume at start, 'sent', hard to 'receive'
Darkness swallows hopeful light.

I am your Sponge, (I capitalize the Title, THE Hook.)
for now... for now... Love this Repetition. I, a listener, have to find meaning in it.

(VERSE 2)
Must I pay, for undone deeds? Comma, represents the 'rest' between Notes. Listen and put them in. Use exclamation points for exclamatory Lines.
Anger grows, and my soul bleeds. Emphasize 'My'.
Blood comes, out of my eyes.
Angels fall, but no one cries...


(CHORUS)
You throw your hate. Exclamation point!
I pick it up.
You spill your dirt. Pitchy? Which I take to mean off pitch. Or is it?
I soak it up.

I am your Sponge.
I take in everything you throw at me,
and everything turns into pain. (I don't hear this 'and'. Omit it. The line reads the same without it. Unclutter the line in the mouth of the singer.
That pain, someday, might conquer me... Enunciation: You could omit 'That'. Omission of that word might enable more focused enunciation of all the other words.

(VERSE 3)
I am every thing you fear. Everything, two words.
You ignore what you can't feel.
Things aren't true, until they're done.
You say things, but then, you run.

I am your Sponge,
for now... for now...

(VERSE 4)
Innocence, just gets abused.
Love or hate, I'm so confused.
Blood comes out of their eyes.
Angels die, and then, the cries.

(CHORUS) X 2


Michaels Lyric on Spotify and other streaming platforms )))
Gavin Sinclair #1184042 01/25/23 03:29 AM
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Casual Observer
OP Offline
Casual Observer
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Thank you so much for listening ))) I am so happy to hear that you liked it. And yes, that is what I was going for; nothing extreme. Thank you, again )

Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
This was a very enjoyable listen. The lyric is intriguing and strikes just the right balance in making the listener think but not being obscure or hard to grasp. I also like the vocal production. Great job!


Michaels Lyric on Spotify and other streaming platforms )))
E Swartz #1184043 01/25/23 03:38 AM
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Casual Observer
OP Offline
Casual Observer
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 13
Likes: 2
Thank you so very much for listening ))) Yes, thank you, you and Gary bring up valid points. It's nice to hear that you find this song to be ok. I hope you will hear some of my other works. Once again, a huge thank you.

Originally Posted by E Swartz
Michael,

I really liked the vibe of this music. Vocals have a sweet tone but I do agree with a lot of what Gary said about the gal could in places emphasize key words a bit more.

I'm also in agreement (with pop music) today that long intros are not an advantage as listeners want a song to get going a bit faster--that's just the world's nature. I find myself moving/using my mouse to skip long intros at times out of impatience--not a good thing really, but a truism. Having said this, I do like intros, but for launching a song, but not being such an entity unto itself. Yes there are famous intros with pop/rock songs, but they usually classics that we know what is coming therefore impatience is superseded by anticipation! I will also grant you there still are folks that dig long intros, and you may be one and its NOT a bad thing at all, but just something for consideration when you're trying to get a new song listened to.

Nice production & vocals for sure--I enjoyed this song and would be one that I could listen to often!

steady-eddie


Michaels Lyric on Spotify and other streaming platforms )))

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