|
16 members (Chris37, couchgrouch, Gavin Sinclair, Gary E. Andrews, JAPOV, Alek, 4 invisible),
434
guests, and
127
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
I do lots of 'editing' in the writing process.
I was thinking of word options in the Lines that I either, rejected or thought of later
"Of Love" Copyright August 11, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
Verse I
You come in with the wind! You close the door behind you!
This Line was originally ad lib as;
You come in with the wind AND close the door behind you!
I think at one point it was 'shut' the door behind you!
I decided the pronoun 'you' and 'close' were better. Just a judgment call for me, the first listener.
You're trying to find a place, where the world won't find you!
I remember singing,
You're looking for a place.
But the Love-Interest Character trying to 'find' a place where SHE won't BE found was more interesting to me.
The contrasts in the opening phrases, versus the ones that follow within Lines began to naturally occur. I wasn't thinking hard to find them. The opening phrase came out, ad lib, and the second phrase had to Rhyme AND be coherent to the theme.
I've felt before that if you just tell the story in a Song, the Rhyme is there, coherent, meaningful, not 'just' a Rhyme.
You want to forget! I want to remind you, Of Love!
Verse II (The poetry of Verse II Line 1 Hooked me.)
The snow begins to fall! It keeps falling all winter!
You've been looking for the exit, every since you entered! (Another opening phrase, and natural following Line concept.)
You try to step aside! I make you the center, Of Love! (Having to land on a Rhyme may have made me tinker with the opening Line. I said 'stand' aside at one point, and 'and find out you're the center' was the original ad lib.
Bridge
You've come unwound. You're trying to rewind it! (Opening phrase 'unwound', suggested second phrase 'rewind'.)
Your Mother taught you, love is where you find it! (Your Mama 'warned' you, 'told' you, originally. Mama's advice came spontaneously, with a Rhyme. I'm repeating the Rhyme-Scheme of Verse I, the 'ind' sound. The Bridge is playing the same chords, making the Melody dangerously similar to the Verse Melody. But this is just a little 'Rhymer' Song for my own pleasure so...)
It used to bother you! Now you don't mind it, at all! (And, magically, the ad lib opening phrase enables me to land on a Rhyme in a coherent thought.)
Instrumental Bridge
Verse III (A recent experience with a girl made me realize how young she is, yet seeming to develop her philosophy of life now, as a young adult.)
You come out in the sun, unafraid of burning!
Suddenly it's fun, to feel the world is turning! (Rhymes, 'sun/fun' and 'burning/turning')
You don't know it all! You like what you're learning, Of Love! (Opening phase, totally ad lib, inspiring second phrase, with coherent meaning.)
You've come unwound. You're trying to rewind it!
Your Mother taught you, 'Love is where you find it!'
It used to bother you! Now you don't mind it, at all!
You've come unwound. You're trying to rewind it!
Your Mother taught you, 'Love is where you find it!'
It used to bother you! Now you don't mind it, at all!
(I Repeat the Bridge twice to end and it's still under two minutes.)
("Of Love" is the Refrain-Type Chorus, a single Line of Lyric and Melody ending each Verse." It is the desired or demanded Repetition supplying Structure that the listener can relate to. I conceive it as 'reporting back'; Songs 'report back' to that summary concept, the title Line, THE Hook, and that ties the rest together coherently, or...not.
Every Song is a learning experience for the next one, an 'education' for how a Song 'can' work. And Songs can work in myriad ways. That's why, despite thousands of years of Song-Writing, the possibilities have not been exhausted. As long as you keep reaching for your instruments, pen and paper, searching in your mind, there are new 'realities' to be inspired.)
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
1 member likes this:
JAPOV |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
"Bad Juju Man" Copyright August 24, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
(Verse I)
There's a storm on the horizon!
bad Juju moving in!
You and I are goin',
somewhere we've never been!
I don't wanna go there!
I'll run if I can.
(Chorus Refrain)
They say you can't get away,
from the Bad Juju Man!
(Verse II)
There's a fire down in the furnace,
bad Juju on the wind!
You and I are fightin'!
One of us has to win!
I don't know the answer!
Ask me once again!
They say you can't get away,
from the Bad Juju Man!
(Bridge)
He comes up close behind you!
He whispers of your sins!
He taps you on the shoulder!
Then he's gone again!
(Verse III)
There's lightning! I hear the thunder!
bad Juju 'bout to strike!
The spell we are under,
'bout to break the dike!
A rush of muddy water,
sweeps across the land!
They say you can't get away,
from the Bad Juju Man!
(Coda)
They say you can't get away,
from the Bad Juju Man!
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 10/17/22 01:23 PM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
Never (Is A Long, Long Time)
Copyright August 27, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
Once I...
had a woman.
She was light...
as a feather.
She used to come to my house,
when she wanted to get together.
Then one night,
she turned out the light!
She said 'Never!'
Never!
(Chorus)
Never--------
Is A Long, Long Time,
forever-------
and a day, this time.
Never.
Oh baby, Never,
Is A Long, Long Time.
(Verse II)
Once I...
had to ask her,
'Baby why---?'
She said,
'Well, whatever!'
She quit comin' to my house.
She never wants to get together,
since that night,
when she turned out the light!
She said, 'Never'.
Never.
(Verse III)
Once I...
caught her laughing;
such a pretty look...
on her face.
She made me wonder,
what has happened,
how I...
might get back in the race!
No more nights!
No more lights!
No more never!
Never---------
Is A Long, Long Time,
forever--------
and a day, this time!
Never.
Oh baby, Never?
Is a Long, Long Time.
(Coda)
Once I...
had a woman.
Once I...
had a woman.
Once I...
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 09/12/22 12:39 PM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
"A Hole (One Time)" Copyright October 1, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
C/G 332O1O
Am XO221O
F X33211
G 32OOO3
(Chorus)
Once upon a time, I fell into A Hole.
I fell into A Hole, One Time.
(Verse I)
It wasn't in the woods!
It was broad daylight!
That's when Momma said,
she knew,
I was,
no good.
Once upon a time, I fell into A Hole.
(Verse II)
Once upon a time, life became sublime!
Everything I'd try, succeeded!
I'd win!
It wasn't any good!
It felt like a fight!
That was many lone-ly,
years ago,
tonight!
(Bridge)
Like a fairy tale,
a mad prince meets a queen,
to play an epic fail,
if you know what I mean---!
Once upon a time, I fell into A Hole.
I fell into A Hole, One Time.
(Verse III)
I do what I should;
straighten up!
Fly right!
That was many lone-ly,
years ago,
tonight!
Once upon a time, I fell into A Hole.
(Coda)
Once upon a time, I fell into A Hole.
I fell into A Hole, One Time.
Once upon a time, I fell into A Hole.
I fell into A Hole, One Time, One Time, One Time.
I've been finding irregular Song Structures lately. This is one. I think it works.
An odd Lyric, odd Singer-Character's tale.
Singing it, thinking about it, I imagined that parents should warn their children, when they go out the door, alone, on their own, no guidance but their own, "Beware! The world is full of holes."
Some holes are small. You trip over them, maybe learn to pay closer attention, and not trip over little holes again.
Some are larger. You fall down, get up, dust yourself off, go on down the street.
But down the street are bigger holes, deeper holes, holes you might fall into, and never get out of again.
There's a man down the street, selling tobacco. Tobacco's a hole. You may fall into the tobacco hole and give that man your money the rest of your life, which may be shorter. He's got a Government License to sell you that tobacco. He's got a Government License, to make his living killing; killing you. He kills 435,000 American Citizens a year, with a Government License to make his living...killing.
There's another man...or maybe the same man, selling alcohol, with a Government License. Alcohol is dope, like any other dope. I don't know about you, but alcohol will make me just as stupid as any other dope. I'll say and do stupid things. It will take an intelligent man, or woman, and make them stupid. It will take kind people and make them mean. Responsible people will be irresponsible. Alcohol is a hole you can fall into.
Not all holes are drug-related, but those are some big ones. Some holes you fall into, and never get out again. Some holes lead to other holes. Sometimes there are people down in the holes who 'escort' you deeper into the hole, or to other holes. Half of the people in prison, a hole, committed their crimes under the influence of alcohol, tobacco, other drugs. They fell into one hole, one time, and it made them fall into other holes. Once upon a time...so the story goes.
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 10/17/22 01:24 PM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
I wanna be shocked!
"Electric Shock" copyright November 3, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
You found me sick and told me that there was no cure!
My sickness made you sad with a mad allure!
You treated me with a hearty dose of hard, hard rock!
You gave me what I needed with Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
You nursed me back to hell and helped me to endure!
You gave me what I needed with your drug so pure!
You had to let me dance! I felt the door unlock!
You gave me what I wanted with Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
(Spoken)
Nurse Shock?
Yes?
I need...I need...I need...I need...Electric Shock!
I need...I need...I need...I need...Electric Shock!
I need...I need...I need...I need...Electric Shock!
(Instrumental Bridge)
You found me sick and told me that there was no cure!
My sickness made you sad with a mad allure!
You treated me with a hearty dose of hard, hard rock!
You gave me what I needed with Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
I need...I need...I need...I need...Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
I need...I need...I need...I need...Electric Shock!
Shock me baby! Shock me baby! Hit me with Electric Shock!
(Coda: Spoken)
Oh! Nurse Shock!
I...I think...you're trying to...seduce me...
aren't you?
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 11/03/22 11:01 PM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
"Baby, Get To Me" copyright January 5, 2023 by Gary E. Andrews
D XXO232
G 32OOO3
A XO222O
(Verse I)
Come on, baby!
(Chorus Refrain)
Get To Me!
Don't, keep me waiting, any long-er!
Come on, baby! Let it be!
I'm waiting here, waiting to hear your song.
Come on baby! Baby, Get To Me!
(Verse II)
Come on, baby! Get To Me!
I'm not, getting any, younger!
Come on, baby! Can't you see?
I'm wanting you, wanting you, so hurry!
Come on baby! Baby, Get to Me!
(Bridge)
Get me by my hand! Get me by myself!
Come on, baby! Baby, Get To Me!
(Verse III)
Come on, baby! Get To Me.
The stars are out, waiting for the moon.
Come on, baby! Get To Me.
You're the one, who laid the spell I'm un-der.
Come on, baby! Baby, Get To Me.
(Coda)
Come on, baby! Get To Me.
Come on, baby! Baby, Get To Me.
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 01/14/23 12:14 AM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
1 member likes this:
Guy E. Trepanier |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
Here's the first 'Come on, baby' Song I wrote.
"COME ON, BABY" copyright December 13, 2022, by Gary E. Andrews
D XXO232
G 32OOO3
A XO222O
Bm XO4432
(Chorus)
Come On, Baby! Enough's enough! You know, what I want to kno-o-ow!
Come On, Baby! Start it up! Take me, where I wanna go-o-o!
(Verse I)
You're not a little girl, any more!
You get to come and go,
in and out your door!
Come On, Baby! Enough's enough! You know, what I want to kno-o-ow!
Come On, Baby! Start it up! Take me, where I wanna go-o-o!
(Verse II)
Show me how you shift four-on-the-floor!
Drive me to the mountain!
Take me to the sea!
Come On, Baby! Enough's enough! You know, what I want to kno-o-ow!
Come On, Baby! Start it up! Take me, where I wanna go-o-o!
(Bridge)
You- need to think, a little longer!
You- need to know, where we are----!
Come On, Baby! Enough's enough! You know, what I want to kno-o-ow!
Come On, Baby! Start it up! Take me, where I wanna go-o-o!
(Coda)
Come on, Baby!
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
"The Stars In Sedona" copyright January 20, 2023, by Gary E. Andrews
The Stars In Sedona, are bright as your eyes.
The sky is as dark as my lies.
The night's long and lonely.
You were my one and only.
The Stars In Sedona, tonight.
The Stars In Sedona, grant a million wishes.
There are as many as the fishes,
in seas of tomorrow,
deep and wide as my sorrow.
The Stars In Sedona, tonight.
Come away darlin'!
Don't break my heart!
Don't send me away without you.
I'll drown in Corona,
here in Sedona.
The Stars In Sedona, tonight.
The Stars In Sedona, cry on the mountain.
There are coins in all the fountains,
If wishes were horses,
beggars could take new courses,
The Stars In Sedona, tonight.
The Stars In Sedona, tonight.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,648 Likes: 30 |
"You're Talking To" copyright October 31, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
(Verse I)
You've been singing the blues,
every since you got home!
I've been listening to,
you talk on the phone.
I've been wondering who,
You're Talking To.
(Verse II)
You've been walking the floor,
in the middle of the night!
We don't talk any more!
All we do is fight.
I've been fighting the urge,
to slip away one night!
(Bridge)
One more bad decision, I've got to make!
One more mad collision, before I break!
I've been wondering who,
You're Talking To!
I've been wondering who,
You're Talking To!
(Verse III)
I've been singing the blues,
the whole while you've been gone.
Now there's nothing new,
since you've come back home.
I've been wondering who,
You're Talking To.
(Coda)
I've been wondering who,
You're Talking To.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums117
Topics123,517
Posts1,151,754
Members21,403
| |
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
|
"We may wear different hats, but underneath, we're all just plain folks!" -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
