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#1182700 11/15/22 12:06 PM
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Someone told me that the powers that be want short titles. Originally had the longer title, below, so I'd like feedback if you like the short or long title. Also, need feedback on the song. Is it too old style, too sentimental, etc? I studied classical guitar and you'll hear that influence. Thanks. Oh, I recorded on cheap software and a computer mike, so please, no feedback on the recording quality, as I'm aware that it's only of 'scratch demo' quality (not useable beyond showing others your basic idea).


https://soundcloud.com/patricklockwood/singme/s-qMLI4eJD5sF


Sing Me That Same Old Country Song



Over there on the wall is your guitar hangin' lonely.
I cannot help but recall that first moment I heard you singing.

So sing me that same old country song;
The mem'ry of that time lingers on.

And a sour note's begun to ring and it's tearing us apart.
So let's make each new moment be like the first one from the start.

Now sing me that same old country song;
The mem'ry of that time linger's on.

Somehow our love's been lost,
so bring that music you played for me.
Let's rebuild the bridge we've crossed;
bring back that sweet love song you sang for me

Honey you've such a way and with your word's you've touched us all,
and it's been such a long time I've heard you sing that song.

So sing me that same old country song;
The mem'ry of that time lingers on.

Somehow our love's been lost;
so bring that music you played for me.
Let's renew the bridge we've crossed;
bring back that sweet love song you sang for me.

Sing me that same old country song
Why don't you sing me that same old country song?

Pat Hardy #1182701 11/15/22 12:39 PM
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Pleasant song.

I don't know anything about title lengths or current guidelines regarding level of sentimentality.
As for genre, I'd put it FOLK / COUNTRY singer-songwriter, circa 1960s.

I hear the classical guitar influence in the chord transitions. Sounds Bach-ish to my ear based upon what little I know about Classical guitar. Notwithstanding that I would still call it singer-songwriter.
Martin

Pat Hardy #1182702 11/15/22 03:10 PM
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The term 'Short titles' comment probably imply whoever said it expects a short title to be a 'strong' Hook, THE Hook, the few words that sum up what the whole Song is about, easily Repeated a minimum of three times, and ideally more.
'Strong' in the sense of memorability. Driving home that idea in the first hearing, having them singing along, voluntarily or involuntary ear-worming in their heads.

I think I'd flip the Chorus:
Now sing me that same old country song;
The mem'ry of that time linger's on.

The mem'ry of that time lingers on.
Now sing me that Same Old Country Song;

The halting delivery of the words probably doesn't work, dragging the Song out to a four minute space. Radio likes short Songs that leave more time for commercial ads that pay the bills. Upping the tempo and perhaps deleting some of the Stanzas could work.

A 'Refrain-Type Chorus', ending each Verse, is a Structure that works. I think that's the Structure here, as opposed to a 'Stanza-Type Chorus', one comprised of multiple Lines and standing on its own as a Stanza like the Stanzas of the Verses.

"Same Old Country Song" Copyright Pat Hardy

(Verse I)
Over there on the wall is your guitar hangin' lonely.
I cannot help but recall that first moment I heard you singing.
(Chorus Refrain)
The mem'ry of that time lingers on.
So sing me that Same Old Country Song.

(Verse II)
A sour note's begun to ring and it's tearing us apart.
So let's make each new moment be like the first one from the start.
The mem'ry of that time lingers on.
So sing me that Same Old Country Song.

(Bridge) (The Bridge Melody should differ from that of the Verse/Chorus-Refrain. The variation renews listener interest/attention.)
Somehow our love's been lost,
so bring that music you played for me.
Let's rebuild the bridge we've crossed;
bring back that sweet love song you sang for me

(Verse III)
Honey you've such a way and with your word's you've touched us all,
and it's been such a long time I've heard you sing that song.
The mem'ry of that time lingers on.
So sing me that Same Old Country Song.

(This Repeat of what I identify as a Bridge would be the one to delete, shortening the Song.)
Somehow our love's been lost;
so bring that music you played for me.
Let's renew the bridge we've crossed;
bring back that sweet love song you sang for me.

(Coda) (The Coda can Repeat the title, THE Hook, driving it home as THE gist, the main idea, making it memorable.)
Sing me that Same Old Country Song
Why don't you sing me that Same Old Country Song?


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Pat Hardy #1182715 11/16/22 02:31 AM
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Hi Pat
I did enjoy your song but feel as Gary commented it needs cutting for broadcasting purposes, if you decided on this approach of course.
I also like his chorus suggestion as well.
A folky type of song to my ears
Best of luck with it
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Pat Hardy #1182733 11/16/22 11:09 AM
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A country waltz would suit this nicely, and move it along a bit smile

Pat Hardy #1182743 11/16/22 02:26 PM
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Not a country type so I dunno, but I like the flip suggestion and waltzing it up to pull back on that 4.5 minute length.

It will take away from your playing which is a lot of the song and adds that folk element mentioned

Thanks for sharing this. I liked what you did with minimum equipment.

That IMO makes a song either work or not. Production can be lipstick on a pig if the song has no lyric or structure and such.

So thumbs up and play with it to see how much further you can\want to take it


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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Pat Hardy #1182773 11/18/22 01:17 PM
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JAPOV is right (it happens occasionally). This wants to be in 3/4 time IMO. "...your guitar hangin' lonely" - it's hard to read that phrase without a waltz playing in your head. I like your guitar playing very much, but the melody seems to get a little lost in it.

JAPOV #1182806 11/21/22 06:57 AM
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
A country waltz would suit this nicely, and move it along a bit smile


Uhh, thanks, but if you count it out, you'll find that it is a waltz, or a triple meter at the minimum (some might argue it's 6/8, due to the tempo).

Gavin Sinclair #1182807 11/21/22 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
JAPOV is right (it happens occasionally). This wants to be in 3/4 time IMO. "...your guitar hangin' lonely" - it's hard to read that phrase without a waltz playing in your head. I like your guitar playing very much, but the melody seems to get a little lost in it.


It IS a waltz, count it and you'll see (though some might argue 6/8, it's a triple meter, nevertheless).

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Originally Posted by John Voorpostel
Not a country type so I dunno, but I like the flip suggestion and waltzing it up to pull back on that 4.5 minute length.

It will take away from your playing which is a lot of the song and adds that folk element mentioned

Thanks for sharing this. I liked what you did with minimum equipment.

That IMO makes a song either work or not. Production can be lipstick on a pig if the song has no lyric or structure and such.

So thumbs up and play with it to see how much further you can\want to take it


The AABCA format is repeated once, there is no way to shorten it without removing one of the first A sections, then the story suffers.

Anyway, the style is a bit old fashioned, it won't sell anyway, though there is one modern chord in the C section (a D/C chord) But I thank everyone for their feedback.

and yes, it IS a waltz (or 6/8, take your pick).

Last edited by Pat Hardy; 11/21/22 07:04 AM.
Pat Hardy #1182813 11/21/22 09:25 AM
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Lol... Think 123, 123, 123, 123 wink

Pat Hardy #1182874 11/24/22 10:10 AM
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Pat.
I like the song and the simple backing.
When you sing "And a sour note's" all the notes are C.
I think, vocally you should go up to an A note on the words "note's begun" then back to G and F for "to ring. It would give an unexpected melodic lift imo.
I think the long title says more about what the song is.

Vic


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Vicarn #1183123 12/09/22 06:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
Pat.
I like the song and the simple backing.
When you sing "And a sour note's" all the notes are C.
I think, vocally you should go up to an A note on the words "note's begun" then back to G and F for "to ring. It would give an unexpected melodic lift imo.
I think the long title says more about what the song is.

Vic

Yeah, a better singer would have probably caught that. Thanks for the feedback.

Pat Hardy #1183124 12/09/22 09:57 PM
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I like your voice a lot...it has a gentleness and the subtle harmonies sound so good...the simple instrumentation suits it nicely....as a pro dancer I can tell you you can really only dance a country waltz to it...it is in 3/4 time as is...I think the tempo goes a little off a couple of times but it is 3/4 time.. well done Pat

Steve


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Pat,

Sweet and simple. I lot to like here for sure. From the wonderful guitar playing to the sentimental well written lyric. I enjoyed this very much!

Tom

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