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Joined: Nov 2022
Posts: 4 Likes: 1
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Nov 2022
Posts: 4 Likes: 1 |
This one is sort of a praise and worship song. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks for looking.
Heartstrings ©2022 Wayne Webb
A harmony is in your holy Words
Sweetest poetry I’ve ever heard
As I realize what they are saying
This is when you come to me
Suddenly you’re playing
Chorus
On my heartstrings
A lovely tune
Lord, I don’t need anything
When I can’t get enough of you
And when I feel this way
All I want to do
Is make the sweetest melody
And play it on my heartstrings
For you
2 When I’m sad and think about you, Jesus
Knowing you’re, not far from any of us
That you’ll never take your Spirit from me
This is when you comfort me
Once again you’re strumming Chorus
John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
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1 member likes this:
Brian Austin Whitney |
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,580 Likes: 67
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,580 Likes: 67 |
I very much like what you have done here ... the opening line is soooo good... I'm impressed with your first post...keep going
Steve
Creators of music have a responsibility to their craft. When they have finished using all the notes and words, they must pass them down to the next generation with a simple request. “Use these to create new music.”...Steven McDonald
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1 member likes this:
John524 |
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Joined: Nov 2022
Posts: 4 Likes: 1
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Nov 2022
Posts: 4 Likes: 1 |
John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,837 Likes: 24
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,837 Likes: 24 |
John, I hope you will come back ad continue to post! Brian
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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1 member likes this:
John524 |
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Joined: Nov 2022
Posts: 4 Likes: 1
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Nov 2022
Posts: 4 Likes: 1 |
John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,339 Likes: 6
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,339 Likes: 6 |
Hello and Welcome to JPF, John. If I may? [These suggestions are only that, suggestions. Keep or Sweep. I do like what you have here and believe that you do have something to build on. A good solid message within. Thanks for sharing.
Heartstrings ©2022 Wayne Webb
Harmony is in your holy Word Sweetest poetry I’ve ever heard As I realize what You're saying. Suddenly You’re playing.
[C]
On my heartstrings. A lovely tune Lord, I don’t need anything when I'm with you. And when I feel down or when I am blue. I let You in. That's what I do. And play my heartstrings for you
[V]
When I’m lonely I think of Your son. Knowing you’re both there makes us all one. Knowing your there and always near. Gives me comfort and I hear the strumming that follows me now. [Chorus]
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Joined: Aug 2021
Posts: 18 Likes: 3
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Aug 2021
Posts: 18 Likes: 3 |
I second what Douglas posted. The flow seems much better and I really like the opening line.
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,087 Likes: 86
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,087 Likes: 86 |
killer opening line , Id look at replacing blue in chorus , Christian music has killer melodies at least the ones I've heard
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"Do not endeavor to be the smartest kid in a dumb class. Instead, you are better off being the dumbest kid in the smartest class, where you will be challenged and you will learn. If you aren't growing, you are dying." -Brian Austin Whitney
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