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"Dwell"
by JAPOV - 12/04/23 11:02 AM
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4 Artists
by Guy E. Trepanier - 12/03/23 07:19 PM
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Snuts
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:01 AM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/01/23 03:35 PM
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,101 Likes: 14
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,101 Likes: 14 |
Comes a time
Verse
Comes a time in your life
A light comes shining thru
Like a bolt of lighting
That comes out of the blue.
You wake up look around
And see you’ve lost your way.
Comes a time in your life
You know things have to change.
Chorus
No antidote, no remedy
The damage is done
There’s no reverse no turning back
You’re no longer young.
Verse
Comes a time in your life
A caution light comes on.
You’d best heed the warning
Beware what’s going on.
You wake up look around
And the whole world has changed.
Comes a time in your life
What you see seems insane.
Chorus
No antidote, no remedy
The damage is done
There’s no reverse no turning back
You’re no longer young.
Bridge
You rail against the changes.
It falls upon deaf ears.
You realize this world
is no longer yours.
Chorus
No antidote, no remedy
The damage is done
There’s no reverse no turning back
You’re no longer young.
Verse
Comes a time in your life
You change priorities
Value what’s important
Try to do good deeds.
Things don’t mean all that much.
What you need’s love and friends
Comes a time to change things
Before your time here ends.
Ckiphen
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,041 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,041 Likes: 1 |
Just a quick alternative wording for the chorus:
Chorus
No antidote, no remedy
Time can't be undone
No rewind, no turning back
You’re no longer young.
Overall I think you could find a way to develop the verses so they tell a story.
Right now its just railing against change and getting older so the first verses are repetitive and the final verse just feels like preaching.
Tell the story of the bolt of the lightning that actually turned a life around.
Marty my home Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again!
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,624 Likes: 68
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,624 Likes: 68 |
Hmmmm.... Old man Time vs Mother Nature?
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,101 Likes: 14
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,101 Likes: 14 |
nice turn on the lyric thanks.
Ckiphen
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4 |
Great comments. Again as in the other I commented on this one reads and "sings" well. Marty made some good points. Thanks for sharing.
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