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#1175534 03/31/21 12:17 PM
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ckiphen Offline OP
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The war in me
Verse
They said the wars over.
But what do they know?
They said go home soldier.
Youll be safe at home.
Pre chorus
I came back alive.
Saw too many die.
The graves of my friends.
Am I digging mine?
Chorus
The terrible dreams
Sound of their screams.
The horrors Ive seen.
The war in me.
Verse
They said we stopped fighting.
You dont need a gun.
They said youll be normal.
Forget what youve done.
Pre chorus
I came back alive.
Saw too many die.
The graves of my friends.
Am I digging mine?
Chorus
The terrible dreams
Sound of their screams.
The horrors Ive seen.
The war in me.
Verse
They said youll soon adjust.
Youll learn to have fun.
But I cant settle down.
Still hear the big guns.
Bridge
The war is not over.
It still rages on.
It still rages on
Pre chorus
I came back alive.
Saw too many die.
The graves of my friends.
Am I digging mine?
Chorus
The terrible dreams
Sound of their screams.
The horrors Ive seen.
The war in me.


Ckiphen
ckiphen #1175569 04/02/21 03:55 AM
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They said the wars over------------------It will never be over
But what do they know------------------The privileged never know
They said go home soldier--------------The heartbreak of a soldier
Youll be safe at home-------------------The silent hell of home
Pre chorus
I came back alive--------------------------What is it all for
Saw too many die-------------------------If death is no disgrace
The graves of my friends----------------The grave is no more comfort
Am I digging mine-------------------------For those who take my place
Chorus
The terrible dreams----------------------The potential of youth
Sound of their screams-----------------The honor of thieves
The horrors Ive seen--------------------The illusion of truth
------------------------------------------------The war in me
Verse
They said we stopped fighting--------The enemy shows no mercy
You dont need a gun-------------------His mouth is full of lies
They said youll be normal-------------His hands are full of treachery
Forget what youve done--------------His face is a disguise
Verse
They said youll soon adjust----------You must be ever vigilant
Youll learn to have fun----------------The enemy has no shame
But I cant settle down----------------Their mothers are all whores
Still hear the big guns-----------------Their children have no names
Bridge
The war is not over--------------------Don't listen to their cries
It still rages on--------------------------Every animal dies
It still rages on--------------------------So don't be fooled by their eyes
---------------------------------------------Don't look into their eyes
Pre chorus
I came back alive--------------------------What is it all for
Saw too many die-------------------------If death is no disgrace
The graves of my friends----------------The grave is no more comfort
Am I digging mine-------------------------For those who take my place
Chorus
The terrible dreams----------------------The potential of youth
Sound of their screams-----------------The honor of thieves
The horrors Ive seen--------------------The illusion of truth
------------------------------------------------The war in me

They said the wars over------------------It will never be over
But what do they know------------------The privileged never know
They said go home soldier--------------The heartbreak of a soldier
Youll be safe at home-------------------The silent hell of home

ckiphen #1175574 04/02/21 09:23 AM
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ckiphen Offline OP
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Hell of a re write!


Ckiphen
ckiphen #1175586 04/02/21 03:10 PM
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Re-write it again lol....

ckiphen #1175587 04/02/21 03:25 PM
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Now that I'm looking again... I don't think I'm really making my point.
I'd like to raise the question, if this is how a soldier is taught to feel about the enemy, then isn't the enemy taught the same way? Aren't those fortunate enough to be doing the teaching the real enemy?

ckiphen #1175589 04/02/21 05:08 PM
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I got the point. It's a really great rewrite.

ckiphen #1175592 04/02/21 10:55 PM
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Well... I just hate walking all over CK. But he posts so many damn lyrics he probably doesn't care lol smile

ckiphen #1175593 04/02/21 11:00 PM
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Thanks for the inspiration CK! smile

ckiphen #1175609 04/03/21 11:11 AM
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ckiphen Offline OP
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Feel free to use it. Why let a great lyric go to waste without music. Mine are always open to rewrites. In this case they just inspired a whole new song.


Ckiphen
ckiphen #1175617 04/03/21 03:15 PM
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I've already moved it to the "In The Works" file... Feel free to send it to your usual sources as well, it's obviously a "co-re-write" lol smile

ckiphen #1175623 04/03/21 05:20 PM
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ckiphen Offline OP
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The co writes up to you. If you want sole credit take it no hard feelings.got a feeling it'll be one of your best.


Ckiphen
ckiphen #1175957 04/15/21 05:17 PM
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OK, I've got this blocked out and chorded in my head as is. Any suggestions before I commit?

You know what a marching snare sounds like, right? I'm gonna' start this off like that but with an electric guitar smile

THE WAR IN ME (The silent hell of home) smile

It will never be over
The privileged never know
The heartbreak of a soldier
The silent hell of home

What's it all for
If death is no disgrace
The grave is no more comfort
For those who take my place

The potential of youth
The honor of thieves
The illusion of truth
The war in me

The enemy shows no mercy
His mouth is full of lies
His hands are full of treachery
His face is a disguise

You must be ever vigilant
The enemy has no shame
Their mothers are all whores
Their children have no names

Don't listen to their cries
Every animal dies
So don't be fooled by their eyes
Don't look into their eyes

What's it all for
If death is no disgrace
The grave is no more comfort
For those who take my place

The grave is just as cold
For those who take my place

The potential of youth
The honor of thieves
The illusion of truth
The war in me

It will never be over
The privileged never know
The heartbreak of a soldier
The silent hell of home

ckiphen #1175959 04/15/21 06:21 PM
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Mmmmm Tony & CKiphen. Some great lines, but IMO overall lacking in relatability

I want Bob saying this to someone in a setting conducive to whatever you want as your main point...so closer to the original

As is, it is linear "telling", making points



If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

ckiphen #1175962 04/16/21 12:37 AM
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Lol... Your assessment is actually very "telling" John.

A soldier is a soldier, and always a soldier; Never a victim.

The necessity of soldiers is always respected, but never truly understood or accepted by the privileged...

ckiphen #1175966 04/16/21 10:28 AM
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I can relate to the lyric and I have never been to war. I say, go with what you have, Tony. Maybe one small change:
"Potential of youth" to "Promise of youth." It's maybe a bit more emotive.

ckiphen #1175967 04/16/21 01:43 PM
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If this were a love song I would certainly agree lol, but I believe the adage "get'em while they're young" has military origins...

However, because of my arrangement, I'm finding "The grave is no more comfort " to be a quick mouthful. It's still doable though... I could drop "more" but I think it loses meaning

ckiphen #1176090 04/21/21 01:20 PM
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Upon reviewing this one the message reminds me of the Ira Hayes saga. He was a Pima native who went off to war because there wasn't much for him at home, and despite being a war hero was totally out of place when he returned from the war and died from alcohol poisoning. There was a classic song about him by Johnny Cash, as well as a movie starring Tony Curtis. Not sure which came first. Also reminds me a bit of a song Buffy Ste Marie did titled "Universal Soldier".

ckiphen #1179343 08/08/21 10:13 AM
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Just posted a better version of this... Well, I think it's better lol smile


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