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#1178847 - 07/21/21 11:17 PM My Struggles With Religion  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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My struggles with Religion

I was born Catholic, went to Catholic school, studied theology, and whilst very young, considered becoming a priest. There was something overwhelming about being somebody who could care for humanity, and help them through dark times and with their concerns. I know my folks were delighted at the thought, but probably knew it would fade, it did.

Later, while talking with some of my schoolmates at various times, some said they too, considered it. We believed Catholic was the only religion, that was our world. We admired and looked up to Priests and Nuns, at least up till that age, where we tried to avoid them as they tried to "spoil our fun". Then they became annoyances at best, and at worst, enemies!

Still I remember as a kid thinking "man them kids going to public school, they are missing out on something very important" It made me feel bad for them in a sense, but many of them did receive communion and penance through our church, so it made me feel good that they were receiving the sacraments, even if they didnt go to Catholic School.

As I got older, I also attended Catholic High School, and this is kinda where I didnt see much difference between teens going to Catholic School, or teens going to Public School.

There were kids deeply into drugs, deeply into sex, pregnancies and abortions, fights, myself, I was in several fist fights, id say honestly my record is .500. One such fight, landed me in the disciplinarians office, a short, but tough Italian priest, who was also a former boxer. He basicly said, that he had heard I was in a fight in class (I was, directly in class, DURING a class), and I mistakenly asked him who told him, lol.

"Doesn't matter who told me, there will be no more fighting and you know why" "Because I said so little man", and anytime you wanna fight come down to my office, and you and I will go one on one, and I promise you, ill knock out all your teeth"
Went home and told my Dad, my Dad laughed. But im like that is some worldly priest, I never had a priest talk like that to me before, made me think a bit.

And I observed some kids having the very same problems with being a teenager, as they did in public schools. These were the problems parents were trying to avoid by sending their kids to Catholic School. But it was really not much different, beyond being a more controllable number of kids in the school.

One kid on the football team discovered that I was working in a pharmacy, and asked me if I could get him some steroids. I had no intention of getting them, but at the same time, I didnt want to run into him. Luckily, there were only a few weeks left in shcool, and I managed to avoid him, and then basicly never had to see him again. Stil haven't....

When I finished High School, I studied at a community college, no real major, just basic curriculum. I took a course called Western Civilization to the Reform, where we studied anything history from say the very first tribal civilizations, to the fall of Rome.
And one thing that kept recuring, was the idea that since the dawn of man, religion was a central part of their life. Long before Jesus, and Moses, I mean some tribes had Gods that required sacrifices. it wouldn't be unusual for a family to offer their first born, to The Gods, as a prayer for some water, or something they needed.
And I remember thinking, how stupid can these people be? But they weren't stupid, they just didn't understand anything at all. And we'd watch documentaries of archaeologists talking about such and such tribe's "gods" as if they were just fictional entities, like they were talking with such Irreverence to the Gods.

I think at that point I began to question number one "why are there so many Gods?" Some old and forgotten, some new and worshipped, but why are their so many? And why do people from all over the world, regardless of how remote of an area, have a God. Every single civilization had a God, and more than one.

Then enter my own religion, Catholic, a derivative of Christianity, why is my religion any different than any of these religions? Why were there hundreds of religions before Jesus ever came? And why is mine the right one? Are any of them the right one?
I had a good friend who was very religious, and he kept me on that path for a while, I attended healing masses, by priests who had the power of healing, such as Father Ralph Diorio, and it did help me with the angst id been feeling, and I saw some wonderful things, and heard some wonderful stories.

Still, the internet was soon approaching, and science was making enormous strides into understanding our origins, and often it conflicted with Biblical accounts. And I saw scientists who had zero fear of exploring and not believing in God. God was a side note to them, and it just seemed strange to me, how could somebody not be one bit afraid to deny God existence, or not care about it.

I started to realize that there were many people in the world, not just scientists who did not believe in God, and it puzzled me. Its what I knew, but as time went on, the arguments for science seemed alot more convincing.

I started studying other religions a bit, just to see how the stries could all be so different, yet there is only supposed to be one God. And I came across previous Gods, Gods who were cast aside when Jesus came around, but Whom had the same types of stories as Jesus and Christianity.

For example, Buddha and Jesus have a very similar history. Both went to their temples at the age of twelve, where they are said to have astonished all with their wisdom. Both supposedly fasted in solitude for a long time: Buddha for forty–seven days and Jesus for forty. Both wandered to a fig tree at the conclusion of their fasts. Both were about the same age when they began their public ministry:
How is that possible?

Zoroaster was born of a virgin and “immaculate conception, So was Jesus.

Attis was born on December 25 of the Virgin Nana. He was considered the savior who was slain for the salvation of mankind. His body as bread was eaten by his worshippers. He was both the Divine Son and the Father. On “Black Friday,” he was crucified on a tree, from which his holy blood ran down to redeem the earth. He descended into the underworld. After three days, Attis was resurrected.

Is it the same stories being told over and over again? This, plus the ever changing and understanding of our Earth and Space, really threw my belief systems off.

When I think of a God, creating a world that is quite dangerous to live on, it makes me question, why would HE do that? Why did he need to build an ozone layer to protect us from the sun, why didnt HE just make the sun not so harmful?

Why didnt he create a barrier that prevents meteors from hitting the earth, or else, not create meteors at all, it doesnt make logical sense.

And all of this leads me to where I am with Faith and religion. I have doubts, yet i desperately want to believe, as I think the most tragic thing somebody can say to me, is that there is No God or no afterlife.

It makes our lives meaningless, in that when we die, not only will we not exist any more, but we will never know we ever existed at all, completely unaware of anything we ever did or were.
t's mind boggling, I embrace the possibilities. Spiritual possibilities intrigue me, I dont want this to be it, but I also dont have any way of knowing.

We are at a crossroads where the old doctrines are not enough any more, we have too much knowledge about the nature of things, to just accept things blindly.

in my heart i believe is still God voice, but I've become less and less inclined to listen to it.

And in the worlds of a great Prophet, Bruce Springsteen, it takes a leap of faith, to get things going. And I leave you with this clip, where I was in attendance at this concert, when it was still called the Brendan Byrne Arena, and I was one of the people who needed to "get down"
Enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouWEZPkbznQ

P.S. I really didnt wanna write something like this, because i dont want to break anyone's faith, with my own faith hanging on by a thread at times. But seemingly, you have to write something, instead of commenting on somebody elses.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/21/21 11:28 PM.
#1178849 - 07/21/21 11:51 PM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Jesus wasn't born on December 25th.

Isaiah prophesied that the Messiah would be born of a maiden/virgin several centuries BC.

Fasting was common as far back as Abraham, if memory serves. As a foreshadowing of Jesus, Moses fasted on Mt. Sinai 40 days and 40 nights. He lived around 1500 years before Jesus.

As far as I know, there's no mention of a fig tree after Jesus' fasting. The accounts are in Matthew 4, Mark 1, and Luke 4.

I just want to be clear about what the Bible teaches

I discussed these EXACT same points with someone on Facebook several months ago. Coincidence?

Carry on.

Last edited by couchgrouch; 07/22/21 12:45 AM.

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Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

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3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1178850 - 07/22/21 12:04 AM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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But the whole concepts of the events in these stories are strikingly similar.

I fast too, ive done intermittent fasting, and realized i could go 24-36 hours without eating after realize i had spent that long on a blackjack table without eating... another story.

I know fasting was very common, but they all did it and for religious purposes, and its recorded as such, they also did it for similar amounts of time/

Eating his body and blood? Dying for salvation? The concepts more than the details are what I was getting at.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/22/21 12:06 AM.
#1178851 - 07/22/21 05:43 AM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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I want you to know that I read this slowly and carefully Dom, foreword and backward, and even began to mark bullet points... I really wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt here, but then I realized we've already debated all of this and, knowing you here as I do, it's just not worth the argument.

You've only made one point here worth calling attention to Dom..., "yet i desperately want to believe..."

You've already proven to me that this is a lie, as evidenced by your Catholic training and heritage. Whatever it is that you desperately want to believe in Dom, it's not God. The Bible is all about the origin of things Dom, but you make a point of vehemently contradicting those origins every chance you get, even in this post, and mocking anyone who does believe the Bible. Call me a fool for my faith if you like Dom, I'm not falling for this and science will not redeem you.

#1178855 - 07/22/21 08:35 AM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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I dont think you read, or understand what I wrote. I want to believe, but I cant believe in something just because somebody tells me to. If I knew Mickey Mouse was God incarnate, id be worshipping Mickey, but I know that is not the case, and so do you.

RIcky Gervais said there are 300 Gods, i dont believe in all 300, whereas you dont believe in 299 of them. Not a fan, but very poignant comment..

It cant contradict reality and proven facts. And if you think of how preposterous Weather Gods are, and Thor and Scientology, its very easy for you to say, forget that bullchit, thems some wacked out religions. Well, they all can seem that way to somebody.

A fight between faith and reason, I have faith God will guide and protect me right? But why do I hit the brakes when I see a cliff? If God will be with me, even until the end of time, then why didn't he do anything during the holocaust...me being in general.

Imagine millions of people praying for God to spare them, and it didnt work. That would shake your belief.
I still pray, I pray for my folks nearly every night asking God to help them make it there. I cant let it go complete, nor can i accept it completely.

Re read please.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/22/21 08:44 AM.
#1178890 - 07/22/21 05:02 PM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Perhaps we should start with... What the hell did they teach you in Catholic school!?!

Don't you realize who the Jews are?

Don't you realize that we pay a severe penalty for turning away from God?

Don't you know that prophecy is the proof of God's word and there wouldn't even be a Bible if not for the prophets?

Science and philosophy are man's wisdom Dom. Even if we could chart the entire universe and unravel all its secrets we would still only come to one conclusion; We are not gods. The "science" of this universe was created to LIMIT US! Faith in man's understanding of what God created is just like Cain saying, "See God, look what I did..." Until you can study the Bible from that perspective Dom, you're never going to get it.

Last edited by JAPOV; 07/22/21 05:27 PM.
#1178903 - 07/22/21 06:57 PM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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A contrast in styles here. One starts with a search for the truth and the other starts from a 100% certainty that he knows it. One will try to discern the sense in what he sees and the other already sees how everything fits into his established worldview based on the gift of faith. It's a clash of philosophies, medieval versus enlightenment, theoretical versus empirical. One of you would be at home in the 11th century and the other would be more comfortable hanging out in the 18th.

Or maybe not. smile

#1178910 - 07/22/21 07:35 PM Re: My Struggles With Religion [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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True Gavin, and Japovs question "What the hell did they teach you in Catholic School" question gives you some insight into an arrogance of position.

I know Catholic Priests who would run circles around his so called knowledge. But they dont.

There are also horrible people who are priests too, we know about that.

Life in a nutshell.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/22/21 07:42 PM.

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