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#1178760 - 07/20/21 08:11 AM Another Coat of Paint  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 179
PaulCanuck Online content
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PaulCanuck  Online Content
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Hi guys - this one came to me while I was painting a door smile
Any and all comments are welcome - and thanks for listening (if you do, in fact, listen smile )

https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/another-coat-of-paint

Another Coat of Paint

I show up with my rollers and my brushes
I cover up the floors to keep 'em clean
I roll out a new hue to make the walls look new
If only I could do that for the love that we once knew

But another coat of paint ain't gonna do it
Another coat won't cover up the blue
Until I'm over you, my heart will show right through
And another coat of paint ain't gonna do

I can mix and match my colours to perfection
My customers all praise the work I do
I never hear complaints about the cov'rage of my paints
But they always seem too faint to hide a heart that's torn in two

And another coat of paint ain't gonna do it
Another coat won't cover up the blue
Until I'm over you, my heart will show right through
And another coat of paint ain't gonna do

I pack up for the day
Head for home in my old van
Every rattle that it makes says:
"You're a lonely, lonely man"
"Such a lonely lonely man"

...and ...
Another coat of paint ain't gonna do it
Another coat won't cover up the blue
Until I'm over you, my heart will show right through
And another coat of paint ain't gonna do

Until I'm over you, the blues will show right through me..
And another coat of paint ain't gonna do..

#1178766 - 07/20/21 11:53 AM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Gavin Sinclair  Offline
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Absolutely love it. Such a clever lyric and delivered so engagingly.
"Until I'm over you, my heart will show right through" - what a wonderful line!

#1178768 - 07/20/21 12:10 PM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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Gary E. Andrews Online content
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Excellent enunciation. I listened through laptop speakers, without headphones, without reading rirst or reading along as you sang it, and got most of the words. I think I missed a couple, but literally only two, or three.
The Lyric stays 'on theme' well, making its metaphoric concept clear.

This would serve a Character in a stage play in his Second Act loss of the girl. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl due to personal character flaw, forgivable if he makes amends or she forgives him in spite of himself. Boy despairs. making these comments singing this Song. Boy gets girl back. Everyone leaves theater happy for them.

A female Character could be the Singer-Character too, with modification of the Bridge, the sad lady painter easy for me to envision.

Echoing Gavin's observation, "The blues will show right through me..." The metaphor stays strong.

I recommend playing through it and seeing if any 'And' or 'But' openers for Lines can be eliminated. Writers use them to connect thoughts but listeners can get the connection without them sometimes. Taking them out unclutters a Line in the singer's mouth, and may work better without them.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1178794 - 07/21/21 08:44 AM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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Guy E. Trepanier Offline
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Well written and well done.
Great voice.

#1178804 - 07/21/21 10:06 AM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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Fdemetrio Offline
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I could see this working in a TV spot where the guy has a fight with his wife, and is painting in the next scene. It has almost a comical tone to it, even though it's serious.

I dont know if you are aware that the vocals on that very last "until im over youuuuuuuuuu" is off pitch, and not in a blues way...lol. I think its actually sharp, the blues is flat. But it works in its own way i guess. Or you could try fixing it if you didnt mean to do it....

I was hoping for "another coat of paint wont cover up the BLUES" but I guess blue works too.

Different song for sure, It's good ...oh one question.... Where is he showing up with his rollers? Just says I show up.....

Enjoyed it, it's poignant but not over bearing, kind of fun in a way.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/21/21 10:14 AM.
#1178811 - 07/21/21 11:49 AM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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JAPOV Offline
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My overalls are stained with reds and greens
When marriage was so loving and serene
Every holiday we would paint troubles away
Now love is only on the TV screen...

Lol... This one gets in your head and sticks Paul! BRAVO! smile

#1178982 - 07/25/21 06:03 PM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Dec 2000
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John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Nice Paul...almost like a show tune...are you getting to play out in Almonte\Rideau Ferry again?

Like your Song ciontest entry at the Muse too...just came back from a holiday ...scored most of them before leaving but you added on to the list...


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

My Youtube Channel <<<>>> iAccountant
#1179039 - 07/26/21 10:42 PM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,680
E Swartz Offline
E Swartz  Offline

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Ohio
Paul,

You are and amazing entertainer--you need to write some musical productions like a modern Rodgers & Hammerstein. "Canuck & Canuck."

Great expressions with classic theatrical appeal.

steady-eddie

#1179073 - 07/28/21 04:08 PM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Oct 2019
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PaulCanuck Online content
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PaulCanuck  Online Content
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Thanks for the feedback guys.

Cheers Gavin - very kind of you. smile
Hi Gary - glad you liked it and thought it could work on stage. I will have another look to see if any "ands" and "buts" can be trimmed - but I do like the assonance in "and another" so will likely leave that "and" smile
Guy - thanks for that!
Hey Fdemetrio - thanks for commenting. Yeah my voice breaks a bit on that "you.." Good catch. I considered "cover up the blues" but it seemed a bit too obvious/cliche smile
JAPOV - that's the goal - stick in your head - at least for a while anyway - thanks for listening smile
John - cheers for that - Rideau Ferry was a LONG time ago smile
steady-eddie - those comments made my day - thanks!

Now I better do some reviews to earn my keep around here...
Paul

#1179075 - 07/28/21 06:25 PM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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Gary E. Andrews Online content
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content

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Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Yes, the 'and' and 'but' eliminations are not a general rule.
A general rule is to examine the Lyric and see whether a Line reads 'better', and/or sings 'better', with or without them.
As long as as a writer has a reason for keeping one and isn't just oblivious to the 'better' option, the connectors can serve in function, connecting ideas, and in form, Notes and Rhythmic effects.
I see Lyrics that are loaded with 'And', 'But', 'cause', all connectors writers employ to connect ideas from Line to Line, and often I see and hear that the word is unnecessary and even 'bad' for the Line, not 'better'.
It's just a thing to go back, after a Song is written, and examine for the sake of 'better'. 'Better' may be with or without. As the Song-Writer you are the first listener. It's your judgment call. Other listeners will make their own judgment, consciously or not.

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 07/28/21 06:35 PM.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1179078 - 07/29/21 10:25 AM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 179
PaulCanuck Online content
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PaulCanuck  Online Content
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Originally Posted by Gary E. Andrews
Yes, the 'and' and 'but' eliminations are not a general rule.
A general rule is to examine the Lyric and see whether a Line reads 'better', and/or sings 'better', with or without them.
As long as as a writer has a reason for keeping one and isn't just oblivious to the 'better' option, the connectors can serve in function, connecting ideas, and in form, Notes and Rhythmic effects.
I see Lyrics that are loaded with 'And', 'But', 'cause', all connectors writers employ to connect ideas from Line to Line, and often I see and hear that the word is unnecessary and even 'bad' for the Line, not 'better'.
It's just a thing to go back, after a Song is written, and examine for the sake of 'better'. 'Better' may be with or without. As the Song-Writer you are the first listener. It's your judgment call. Other listeners will make their own judgment, consciously or not.


Totally agree with the above.
.. but one thing that is missing is "sounds better" smile

#1179080 - 07/29/21 10:36 AM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,965
Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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NASHVILLE, TN
Paul

Good solid song!

Write on!

Mackie

#1179105 - 07/30/21 05:33 PM Re: Another Coat of Paint [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 321
VNORTH2 Online content
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VNORTH2  Online Content
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Windsor, NS, Canada
I love it when the entire song is basically a metaphor...well done! Really cool modulation coming out of the bridge. I could see a play surrounding the theme of a painter, with each colour being a different scene.

One of the things that makes a song instantly memorable is the hook..you did accomplished that in spades ..I think you can hit that pitchy note..just needs a few takes

Excellent tune

Steve


VNORTH2

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