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#1177892 - 06/22/21 03:49 PM Music prompt: Horizon  
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 32
bethanykoubsky Offline
Casual Observer
bethanykoubsky  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 32
Omaha
HI there smile I am working on doing some music prompts to write lyrics. Here is one that I started with the word Horizon. Any feedback is welcome!

No name yet
copyright Bethany Koubsky

V1:
She always dreamed of a life on stage
she was tied to a life that felt like a cage
people always saying "not at your age"
all she wanted was to sing
see what this life could bring

C:
Always looking ahead to a better time
running towards the horizon line
watching the earth meet the sky
this dream is something she can't deny

V2:
Voice of an angel but no one to hear
she was longing for a crowd to cheer
she had no plans, just playing by ear
time to pack up, hit the road of dreams
nothing is impossible as it seems

C:
Always looking ahead to a better time
running towards the horizon line
watching the earth meet the sky
this dream is something she can't deny

B:
Listen to your heart, don't do what you're told
if you believe it, you're never too old
listen to your heart, reach for the sky
before you know it, you've learned to fly.

#1177913 - 06/23/21 03:05 PM Re: Music prompt: Horizon [Re: bethanykoubsky]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,202
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,202
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
*Some thoughts:)
No name yet
copyright (date?) Bethany Koubsky

Verse I:
She always dreamed of a life on stage. (A Third-Person anonymous narrator is the story-teller. Past tense.)
She was tied to a life that felt like a cage,
people always saying "not at your age!"
All she wanted was to sing,
see what this life could bring!
(The AAABB Rhyme Scheme, five Lines, would 'set a pattern' I would expect to Repeat in other Verses. And does.)

Chorus:
Always looking ahead to a better time (The pronoun 'She' would put the 'actor' in to do the 'action' of the verb 'looking'.)
running towards the horizon line
watching the earth meet the sky
this dream is something she can't deny ('her dream', letting her 'own' it, might be stronger than 'this dream'.)
(You could rearrange these Lines to put "The Horizon Line" in the last Line of the Chorus, the one left ringing in the listeners' ears as the Chorus ends. That makes it more 'memorable', 'rememberable' as THE Hook, the main idea of the Song.)

Verse II:
Voice of an angel but no one to hear,
she was longing for a crowd to cheer.
She had no plans, just playing by ear.
Time to pack up, hit the road of dreams.
Nothing is impossible as it seems!

C: (Flipped Lines, to land on "The Horizon Line" as THE Hook/title.)
Watching the earth meet the sky,
her dream is something she can't deny!
She's looking ahead to a better time,
running towards The Horizon Line

Bridge:
Listen to your heart! Don't do what you're told!
If you believe it, you're never too old!
Listen to your heart! Reach for the sky!
Before you know it, you've learned to fly!

(This might convert to a First-Person narrative, the Singer-Character telling her own story.)

"The Horizon Line"
copyright (date?) Bethany Koubsky

Verse I:
I always dream of a life on stage. (A First-Person Singer-Character. Present tense.)
I'm tied to a life that feels like a cage,
people always saying "not at your age!"
All I want to do is sing,
see what this life can bring!

Chorus:
I keep watching the earth meet the sky.
My dream is something I can't deny,
I'm looking ahead to a better time,
running toward The Horizon Line!
running toward The Horizon Line!

Verse II:
Voice of an angel but no one to hear,
I keep longing for a crowd to cheer.
I have no plans, just playing by ear.
Time to pack up, hit the road of dreams.
Nothing is impossible as it seems!

C:
Watching the earth meet the sky,
my dream is something I can't deny!
I'm looking ahead to a better time,
running toward The Horizon Line!
running toward The Horizon Line!

Bridge:
Listen to your heart! Don't do what you're told!
If you believe it, you're never too old!
Listen to your heart! Reach for the sky!
Before you know it, you've learned to fly!

C:
Watching the earth meet the sky,
my dream is something I can't deny!
I'm looking ahead to a better time,
running toward The Horizon Line!
running toward The Horizon Line!


Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 06/23/21 03:06 PM.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1177955 - 06/24/21 04:15 PM Re: Music prompt: Horizon [Re: bethanykoubsky]  
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 32
bethanykoubsky Offline
Casual Observer
bethanykoubsky  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 32
Omaha
Thank you smile Still working on it. Need to set it to some music. I love the ideas! Will repost when I work through it again! Appreciate the feedback!


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