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#1177821 - 06/19/21 12:42 AM “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor"  
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IronKnee Offline
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Hi All.....here's a new song. As always, any and all comments are welcome, while first impressions are most welcome. Thanks, in advance!! smile

“Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor..
…(Housewife’s Blues)”


Words & Music By Tom Tognaci

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14269019

You surmise, everything has its place,
Including old housewives, that don a bitter face
But where’s the compromise?
Everything always ends up on the floor

Made a queen, kept in a house of cards
A porcelain figurine, in this glass house bound for shards
Complaints are viewed obscene
Everything always ends up on the floor


You say, everything’s OK, responding nonchalantly with a shrug
But your mess, you have to confess, is too big to be swept under the rug


I suppose, I’ll take it as it comes
But, no one ever knows how the bed sheets, wine, the crumbs…
…the nanny’s panty hose

Everything always ends up on the floor.....
Everything always ends up on the floor.....
Everything always ends up on the floor

#1177823 - 06/19/21 08:04 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Guy E. Trepanier Offline
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Well written and well done.

Excellent rhyming pattern.


Have fun!

#1177838 - 06/19/21 05:51 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Wow, Tom! It's maybe just my taste, but to me this is the best thing I've heard from you. The ending really hits you in the guts. The melody is just right. Love it.

My only criticism would be the very beginning. The word "surmise" is an awkward fit. As I understand it, the "you" in the song is not likely to be making a vague supposition, but rather to believe or state something. I couldn't come up with a direct replacement, but thought of this.

In your eyes, everything has its place

..,or something I actually like better. It changes the meaning but I think in a positive way. It has her looking him in the eyes and seeing the situation reflected in them.

It's in your eyes, everything has its place

One other thing. Grammatically, the line "Complaints are viewed obscene" seems like it ought to be "Complaints are viewed as obscene." You could change it to "Complaints are seen as obscene. " It seems to me that it would sing just as well and deliver a pleasing internal rhyme.

#1177839 - 06/19/21 06:46 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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VNORTH2 Online content
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Really nice sound. Excellent vocal and guitar work. Nice balance. Left me wanting to hear more though. Maybe a solo after the bridge. Cool rhyming scheme.

Steve


VNORTH2
#1177840 - 06/19/21 06:46 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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John Voorpostel Offline
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Im a fan as well...a bit rushed here I thiought ..complaints are viewed as obscene..but no biggie in this...and yes, that ending is stellar


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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#1177841 - 06/19/21 07:15 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Love the whistling, reminds me of Billy Joels The Stranger. I'd say more of that...

Id of love to have heard this as a blues tune, Actually when I saw the title, I didnt see Housewife blues at first, and still thought there was a blues song in there, not sure why.

I was looking for a deeper meaning in the lyric, I wasnt able to come up with one, which is fine, i miss on most songs anyway.

It's kind of old school, not many housewives around any more, at least not the kind that cant work cause the husband wont let them...these days they make more than the men, another topic.

But melodically and vocally, its great. it sounds somewhat like sunny afternoon by the kinks, which I love too.

Nice snapshot of a time and place, might work in a movie with those stories to tell.





Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/19/21 07:21 PM.
#1177842 - 06/20/21 03:21 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Originally Posted by Guy E. Trepanier
Well written and well done.

Excellent rhyming pattern.

Have fun!


Thanks, Guy...........it's always nice to hear from you!


Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Wow, Tom! It's maybe just my taste, but to me this is the best thing I've heard from you. The ending really hits you in the guts. The melody is just right. Love it.

My only criticism would be the very beginning. The word "surmise" is an awkward fit. As I understand it, the "you" in the song is not likely to be making a vague supposition, but rather to believe or state something. I couldn't come up with a direct replacement, but thought of this.

In your eyes, everything has its place

..,or something I actually like better. It changes the meaning but I think in a positive way. It has her looking him in the eyes and seeing the situation reflected in them.

It's in your eyes, everything has its place

One other thing. Grammatically, the line "Complaints are viewed obscene" seems like it ought to be "Complaints are viewed as obscene." You could change it to "Complaints are seen as obscene. " It seems to me that it would sing just as well and deliver a pleasing internal rhyme.



Hi Gavin....and thanks for listening and commenting! And although I really appreciate grammar, I usually disregard it when it gets in the way of lyrics and their balance with (my so called) art.
Thanks, again!!

Originally Posted by VNORTH2
Really nice sound. Excellent vocal and guitar work. Nice balance. Left me wanting to hear more though. Maybe a solo after the bridge. Cool rhyming scheme.

Steve

Hi Steve......thanks for your comments. This can be developed much further with classical instrument. I hear a violin, and even perhaps a harpsichord.
I'm glad you like the lyrical rhyming scheme........thanks for listening!

Originally Posted by John Voorpostel
Im a fan as well...a bit rushed here I thought ..complaints are viewed as obscene..but no biggie in this...and yes, that ending is stellar


A bit rushed.....a bit under developed. I can easily add another 30 secs.....if so inclined.
Thanks for listening and commenting! I appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Love the whistling, reminds me of Billy Joels The Stranger. I'd say more of that...

Id of love to have heard this as a blues tune, Actually when I saw the title, I didnt see Housewife blues at first, and still thought there was a blues song in there, not sure why.

I was looking for a deeper meaning in the lyric, I wasnt able to come up with one, which is fine, i miss on most songs anyway.

It's kind of old school, not many housewives around any more, at least not the kind that cant work cause the husband wont let them...these days they make more than the men, another topic.

But melodically and vocally, its great. it sounds somewhat like sunny afternoon by the kinks, which I love too.

Nice snapshot of a time and place, might work in a movie with those stories to tell.



Hi John..........you are right about the "housewife" reference. It's an outdated term...and, in this day and age, doesn't really actually define the neo matriarchal queen of the house. Many of the rich have house keepers, nanny's and maids....the heroin in my story certainly does; but alas, she isn't one of those out working in a corporate setting or socializing élite circles........she's pretty much kept in small circles, on a short and tight leash. I guess this is for whom I write....all those "kept-wife's". Maybe that's what I'll call it.

Thanks for listening...and for your comments!

#1177850 - 06/20/21 11:16 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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John Voorpostel Offline
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Sorry KneeReplacement wink ...did not mean to imply this was underdeveloped...it says exactly what it needs to...and only that one line seemed a little off to me....and that panty hose line is absolutely stellar in summing everything up...


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

My Youtube Channel <<<>>> iAccountant
#1177857 - 06/20/21 12:47 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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Originally Posted by John Voorpostel
Sorry KneeReplacement wink ...did not mean to imply this was underdeveloped...it says exactly what it needs to...and only that one line seemed a little off to me....and that panty hose line is absolutely stellar in summing everything up...


Hey John......"underdeveloped" was my words. I said underdeveloped because of it being a 1+1. Didn't mean to imply anything, there.
Good luck with everything.
-T

Last edited by IronKnee; 06/20/21 12:47 PM.
#1177863 - 06/20/21 07:38 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Sunset Poet Offline
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Not a fan of your vocals so much, but I loved the song and lyrics and thought that the vocal melody was good. Song says a lot with just a few words and the music conveys the emotionally depleted resignation of the lyrics. I am assuming that there is a parallel subtext that is more serious than clothes strewn on a floor.

Only suggestion...

You say, everythings oK, AND TURN AWAY nonchalantly with a shrug.

Nice song,

Martin


#1177907 - 06/23/21 02:40 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: Sunset Poet]  
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Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
Not a fan of your vocals so much, but I loved the song and lyrics and thought that the vocal melody was good. Song says a lot with just a few words and the music conveys the emotionally depleted resignation of the lyrics. I am assuming that there is a parallel subtext that is more serious than clothes strewn on a floor.

Only suggestion...

You say, everythings oK, AND TURN AWAY nonchalantly with a shrug.

Nice song,

Martin



Thanks SP.........the vocals were the first take....unrehearsed, and cold. I thought they actually fit the mood of the song.
They are different from me......that's why I think I like this so much.
And yes....there is something going on, besides the strewn clothes and food on the floor ;-)

Just curious, why do you think your "and turn away" is better than my "responding"?

Thanks, again!
T

#1177908 - 06/23/21 03:09 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Really late to the party here lol...

Awesome picture you've painted here! I'd just like to hear you enunciate better, sing "floor" not flo... Perhaps give that whistle some space and move it back in the mix a bit...

Awesome as usual Tom! smile

#1177910 - 06/23/21 01:16 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hi Tom.
A neat piece of writing. It all made sense to me.
Keep going.

Vic


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#1177919 - 06/23/21 08:25 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Tom,

This short song is a gem!

Loved it.

steady-eddie

#1177931 - 06/24/21 07:35 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Originally Posted by IronKnee


Just curious, why do you think your "and turn away" is better than my "responding"?

Thanks, again!


Personal opinions sited below regardng....Responding verus And Turn Away.

"Responding" is "dry" to me. People respond to Craig's list ads. It connotes a matter-of-factness.
Your scenario seems much more personal and palpable.

"And Turn Away" provides more information and is evocative. It causes the listener to think about someone who has turned away from them in such a personal situation and it further evokes the emotion that they felt when that happened. It evokes a succinct mental image and adds that layer to the moment. It "colors" the circumstance. Respond may to some degree but not as thoroughly.

Regarding your vocals...
None of us are great singers here, with an exception of one or two. Dont take my word for it. Load your vocal track into Melodyne and see how it looks.
Whenever I think that I've sung something pretty well and then load it into Melodyne, I am always surprised and disappointed.

Regards

Marty



#1177937 - 06/24/21 09:28 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Some people like American Idol finalists, sing very close to perfectly in tune, and are judged for this, yet, when they record, they still use auto tune.

Punching in is an ancient form of auto tune, keep doing it till it's perfect. But the great rockers of old used minimal punch in and left flatted notes in there, and it didnt lose anything, in fact, flatted notes are part of the blues, where rock was derived from.

Ironknee, the main thing about your song, the line "everything ends up on the floor" is your main theme, but im not sure what it means, and if it's all standing on that line, it may confuse people.

It has a fairy tale type style story telling to it, but it still has potential to be really good.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/24/21 09:33 AM.
#1177949 - 06/24/21 02:20 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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I don't know how many people ever sing a song perfectly. When I completely correct my stuff it sounds ridiculous. So I correct as an overall percentage and strategic notes and get it "sounding right as possible."

As for Iron Knee...I think "everything ends up on the floor" is a great line and a great metaphor.

#1177951 - 06/24/21 02:45 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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What ends up on the floor? For it to be a metaphor something else would have to end up on the floor, and then comparing it to that. im not sure what it is, maybe im missing it.

#1177952 - 06/24/21 02:48 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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A marriage. A relationship. Etc

#1177953 - 06/24/21 02:57 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Ok, in that light i see it as her complaints, end up on the floor, like everything else.

It's a nice melody im just not feeling empathy for her. The music is sung to sweet for her anger to shine through.

I donno, I think when we put the lyrics up in writing, we focus too much on them, ive said it before and saying it again.

But i assume we are supposed to be different than the average listener.

Maybe I was looking for a bigger analogy. Cause the music sounds so serious and compelling.

Keep at it!

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/24/21 05:59 PM.
#1177954 - 06/24/21 03:33 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hmmm... "a bigger analogy"

If the floor was reality
And weight was mentality
Thought would be anatomy
And Dom would defy gravity...

#1177961 - 06/24/21 05:52 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Well I dont think Ironknee will be using THAT lyric. Dont turn the thread into free for all.

This is a good song, could be made better, maybe not. Worth a try

#1177967 - 06/25/21 01:39 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: Sunset Poet]  
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
Really late to the party here lol...

Awesome picture you've painted here! I'd just like to hear you enunciate better, sing "floor" not flo... Perhaps give that whistle some space and move it back in the mix a bit...

Awesome as usual Tom! smile


"flo" was poetic license in practice ;-)
Just going for the mood of the moment.
Thanks, for listening and commenting, JAPOV


Originally Posted by Vicarn
Hi Tom.
A neat piece of writing. It all made sense to me.
Keep going.

Vic


Thanks Vic.....I appreciate it1

Originally Posted by E Swartz
Tom,
This short song is a gem!
Loved it.
steady-eddie


And thak you Eddie!!

Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
Originally Posted by IronKnee


Just curious, why do you think your "and turn away" is better than my "responding"?

Thanks, again!


Personal opinions sited below regardng....Responding verus And Turn Away.

"Responding" is "dry" to me. People respond to Craig's list ads. It connotes a matter-of-factness.
Your scenario seems much more personal and palpable.

"And Turn Away" provides more information and is evocative. It causes the listener to think about someone who has turned away from them in such a personal situation and it further evokes the emotion that they felt when that happened. It evokes a succinct mental image and adds that layer to the moment. It "colors" the circumstance. Respond may to some degree but not as thoroughly.

Regarding your vocals...
None of us are great singers here, with an exception of one or two. Dont take my word for it. Load your vocal track into Melodyne and see how it looks.
Whenever I think that I've sung something pretty well and then load it into Melodyne, I am always surprised and disappointed.

Regards
Marty


Hi Marty.........I realized, a long time ago, that my voice sucks. I also learned that sometimes, when mixed into the music, a flat or sharp vocal note could actually be effective. I don't worry much about the note by note delivery, so long as there are not cringe worthy notes. It's all about the affect of the delivery, from my perspective.
Thanks for commenting!!

#1177968 - 06/25/21 01:48 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: JAPOV]  
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Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
What ends up on the floor? For it to be a metaphor something else would have to end up on the floor, and then comparing it to that. im not sure what it is, maybe im missing it.


Messy people, in general, always make a mess. And quite often, it ends up spilling over onto the floor.
But, the metaphor is a subtle one, as Sunset has nailed.
Thanks for listening......love the comments!
Thanks!..........
T

Originally Posted by Sunset Poet
A marriage. A relationship. Etc


Thanks!!!

Originally Posted by JAPOV
Hmmm... "a bigger analogy"

If the floor was reality
And weight was mentality
Thought would be anatomy
And Dom would defy gravity...



Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Well I dont think Ironknee will be using THAT lyric. Dont turn the thread into free for all.

This is a good song, could be made better, maybe not. Worth a try

Hey guys.........
Making my song better would require more, or better ingredients.............just stirring the pot, on this one, doesn't help. But it is sure entertaining!
Thanks, a lot......................love it!

#1177994 - 06/26/21 09:56 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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All of us could improve our songs with better productions, better vocals, better musicianship, better arrangements for sure. What I like best about this song in a nutshell is: Melody/theme/lyrics, with an emphasis on a "great" metaphor "Everything ends up on the floor." Its original and makes a general statement in which many can relate in many ways.

steady-eddie

#1177999 - 06/26/21 11:58 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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I once played Jacques in As You Like It. Used to know that whole speech off by heart. smile

What Tom has is clearly a metaphor, subtly expressed. The mess on the floor is a metaphor for what the relationship has become. If he was expressing it directly, it might say, "This relationship is a mess." That would probably not be such a good song.

(Edit: This post was in response to one about metaphors that seems to have disappeared)


Last edited by Gavin Sinclair; 06/26/21 12:01 PM.
#1178002 - 06/26/21 12:49 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Speaking of deleted, off hand, and argumentative posts...
That's "Grrrrrreat" Dom! Lol... smile

#1178006 - 06/26/21 01:07 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Tony the tiger was the cereal tiger, not you, but revealing you thought it was about you.

..

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/26/21 01:10 PM.
#1178008 - 06/26/21 01:38 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Tony the tiger was the cereal tiger, not you, but revealing you thought it was about you.

..

As usual, you're wrong... I was just correcting your spelling...
"Greatttttt" / Grrrrreat! smile

#1178009 - 06/26/21 01:43 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Matching wits with you is not a fair fight, are there any baboons on the forum?



Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/26/21 02:59 PM.
#1178012 - 06/26/21 02:31 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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For the sake of continuity and context... This is what Fdemetrio (Dom) originally posted, then removed;

((("""I disagree Eddie. .

Cant be a great metaphor when its not even a metaphor.

A metaphor is a figure of speech that, for rhetorical effect, directly refers to one thing by mentioning another.[1] It may provide (or obscure) clarity or identify hidden similarities between two different ideas. Metaphors are often compared with other types of figurative language, such as antithesis, hyperbole, metonymy and simile.[2] One of the most commonly cited examples of a metaphor in English literature comes from the "All the world's a stage" monologue from As You Like It:

It's getting to a point where every response to a song posted is the same response. Why bother posting?
---------------------------------------
I took that down, dont want to hijack the guys thread, if i didnt like him i might.

But sometimes critiques help all. Why people feel the need to jump in and defend the person, makes no sense. It didnt come with a btw, you're also a jerkoff and I dont like you...

DIsagree Gavin, its not clearly a metaphor. Nowhere in the lyric does it say the relationship ends up on the floor.... let alone EVERYTHING ends up on the floor. Whats everything?

The only thing that made sense was her complaining about it, ends up on the floor like the clothes. But apparently, thats not in the equation

Doesnt appear to be ANY relationship, she was a housewife, and is a housewife. It's a old common idea, there was even a few honeymooners episodes, with a theme about the overworked housewife...in 1950's

How long has she been a housewife, at what point did it become this way, if it was always this way, then she signed on for what she got.

The song has potential, but at this point it appears theres no point in commenting here, only one response is fit....whether genuine or not.

Like Tony The TIger It's GREATTTTTT!""")))


Careful Dom, I would still give a baboon the advantage against you...

#1178013 - 06/26/21 02:40 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Japov im done talking to you. Your fake religious beliefs do not shine through in your every day life, so I suggest you read the same bible you quote every day.

Frankly, im a better Christian than you, and I dont even read the Bible.

Not sure what you reposting old quotes, does for your image as being stupid, except add to it.

I have my thoughts on this song, but nobody wants to agree, they want to tell everybody how great they are, realizing this, i delete the comments. you thinking quickly, decide to repost them as any good christian would.

You're a weird, bible twisting, bible using Gibbon. You win? Where shall I send over a crate of bananas for you to dine on?

#1178014 - 06/26/21 02:47 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Arguing with someone who doesn’t understand what a metaphor is is pissing in the wind.

Just pulling your leg smile

#1178015 - 06/26/21 02:49 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Just drop them off at the Decatur, Al courthouse DomDom...
CO: Liberals dumber than Baboons

#1178017 - 06/26/21 03:00 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Arguing with someone who doesn’t understand what a metaphor is is pissing in the wind.

Just pulling your leg smile


If I had a nickel for every idiot that called me a hypocrite...

#1178018 - 06/26/21 03:01 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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but could you add them up?

#1178020 - 06/26/21 03:12 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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((("""Dom, I miserably failed at trying to get you to see prophetic common sense in the Bible... So, I'm not about to try and teach you 6th grade math""")))

#1178022 - 06/26/21 03:18 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Japov, If I have three nickles in my hand, and somebody takes one, how many do I have left?

#1178023 - 06/26/21 03:22 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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None! You don't have sense enough to rub three nickels together...

#1178029 - 06/27/21 01:17 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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:-)

#1178059 - 06/27/21 10:54 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Tom,

Just a short follow up and on topic--I know technically the song title and its use within the song is not truly a metaphor, but rather an "general analogy expression." The point is--its a great line! I was basically following up on Sunset's mentioning of the "metaphor" expression--and "got his drift" and agreed with his drift. Concerning your home-spun country-esk accent, I like how you pronounced "floor" a bit more like flo. You certainly are not a professional singer, nor am I, but your vocals are appealing an exude "personality" and have a "genuine" down to earth quality that many listeners prefer. "Everything always ends up on the flo" is a lazy exasperating way of expressing that line--which works very effectively! I feel the same about Mr. Nelson--love his vocal inflections and delivery for a similar reason--miss seeing him around too. No question that some song's vibe/style need and benefit from articulate "diction." Mike Dunbar, who is a well respected mentor here on JPF once said, "a good song to be received well "needs to be interesting"............your style for me, and I would guess for many, is "interesting." Some of these modern country singers fake the over-the-top country-boy accents which disconcert me with their phoniness.

Room for improvement? Sure, but this song has real potential with a killer title......

steady-eddie

#1178062 - 06/27/21 11:55 PM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hey FDE,

Respectfully disagree. Both physical objects and their unsolved disagreements (which for me is understood given the lyrics), end up on the floor. Isn't that like saying no matter how much we argue, there is not enough common ground and everything is for naught........... just spinning their wheels.............walls come tumbling down..............or: everything ends up on the floor.......probably due to arguments where things get broken along with arguments not being compromised--gloom/doom relationship.

I felt that "title-hook" relationship with the vs. But just because I felt it, doesn't mean good or bad, right/wrong--just my perception.

I know what you mean about trite responses--I don't think I will ever be accused of that...........but honestly, you probably have noticed that I'm much less critical than I used to be unless a poster asks for specific crits--its just not worth it as so many are so sensitive about crits. I think you said once, many of us have become music friends, which isn't conducive to being as objective as we might normally be. Sadly, I hardly have time for music these days. I'm lucky to produce 3 or 4 songs a year!

Take good care, else everything may end up on the floor!

Ed


#1178067 - 06/28/21 01:21 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: IronKnee]  
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It's a very effective "visual" metaphor smile

#1178069 - 06/28/21 02:03 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: JAPOV]  
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
It's a very effective "visual" metaphor smile


In my view..."the nanny's panty hose," make it pretty clear that the floor is a metaphor.

#1178070 - 06/28/21 02:21 AM Re: “Everything Always Ends Up On The Floor" [Re: E Swartz]  
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
Tom,

Just a short follow up and on topic--I know technically the song title and its use within the song is not truly a metaphor, but rather an "general analogy expression." The point is--its a great line! I was basically following up on Sunset's mentioning of the "metaphor" expression--and "got his drift" and agreed with his drift. Concerning your home-spun country-esk accent, I like how you pronounced "floor" a bit more like flo. You certainly are not a professional singer, nor am I, but your vocals are appealing an exude "personality" and have a "genuine" down to earth quality that many listeners prefer. "Everything always ends up on the flo" is a lazy exasperating way of expressing that line--which works very effectively! I feel the same about Mr. Nelson--love his vocal inflections and delivery for a similar reason--miss seeing him around too. No question that some song's vibe/style need and benefit from articulate "diction." Mike Dunbar, who is a well respected mentor here on JPF once said, "a good song to be received well "needs to be interesting"............your style for me, and I would guess for many, is "interesting." Some of these modern country singers fake the over-the-top country-boy accents which disconcert me with their phoniness.

Room for improvement? Sure, but this song has real potential with a killer title......

steady-eddie


I got inspired to write this from out of some frustrating events that seemed to be plaguing my daily occurrences. I was constantly dropping things, things were constantly rolling off my desks and tables, no matter how big the table I was seated at. The title line of my song began to bounce across my mind, each and every time something would drop to the floor. "Everything always ends up on the floor" was born, and I began to draft it. A melodic line was comfortably suited to the lyrical title, and I was off. The first two verses were wrote very quickly. The rest took a lot more time to develop a lyrical direction.

I didn't spend much time, at all, with rehearsal and recording. It's something I just don't like to do. I press play/record and make a run-thru. If I like it, and there are no major "flubs"...........it's good. My dream of utilizing a recording studio with others never really happened. My only dream left is to one day write my own "Heart Of Gold".

Nothing much else I could reveal about the song (without some tequila and low lighting). I write songs, and then move on to the next.
I'm glad this one is well received. It's been a while.
Thanks, eddie.....

.........and everyone else who has taken the time. I appreciate it!
-Tom


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