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Joined: Jul 2008
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Hi folks, This melody, title, and partial chorus wormed its way into my brain while I was riding my bicycle one morning. I think it's finally to a point where it can use some input from others. I'm sure I'm way too close to it at the moment. Thanks in advance for any feedback/thoughts. (Looking forward to listening to and commenting on some of your work as well.) Rob Slow Down (SoundCloud)CHORUS 1: Slow down Aw baby, slow down Wish you'd make it clear That you know I’m here As you pass by Slow down Please baby, slow down When you sail right past Without a glance I wanna die VERSE 1: When the Mayflower van turned our corner late last Summer There you were sporting pink kicks and attitude from the start Then I heard Johnny Cash crooning outta your bedroom window When the school year started you already had my heart. CHORUS 1 VERSE 2: Eyes straight ahead as you walk Rex past our driveway Staring straight down when you pass me in the hall Just a nod or a glance to imply there’s a chance would be fine, babe Give me some indication that you notice me at all CHORUS 1 BRIDGE: But then something new Straight out of the blue You asked me to Minecraft with you CHORUS 2 Slow down Aw baby, slow down For goodness sake You can tap the brake We can take our time Slow down Please baby, slow down Let’s take it slow Don’t go-go-go Now that you’re mine
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Joined: May 2017
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Good idea for a catchy pop song. I think it works well. I might remove the "baby" from Chorus 1 and "babe" from verse 2, because at that stage she hasn't even noticed him. "Girl" might work better. Or even better would be to give her a name. Songs where the girl has a name are more memorable imo. Something like:
Slow down Aw Judy, slow down (or Sally or Sadie or Julie etc,)
A name beginning with S also provides a catchy alliteration.
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Joined: Jun 2019
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I think you should cut your drum tempo by half and try for a riff. "Slow down" {riff} "Aw baby, slow down" {riff}, give it some attitude! 
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Joined: Oct 2017
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Rob, I mean this with complete sincerity, not trying to be funny, the song should be called "hurry up" or Speed up, not slow down, cause the track is moving. I get that the girl is fast and your asking her to slow down, but i think its more of an upbeat song.
You dont need a riff cause the underlying line is infectious, it just needs to be heard more prominently.
It doesnt need to be taken literally, dont have to call it speed up or hurry up, but a lyrical theme that invoves movement, its more like an exercise track. New lyrics are in order.
My take.
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/07/21 05:27 PM.
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Joined: Jul 2008
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Good idea for a catchy pop song. I think it works well. I might remove the "baby" from Chorus 1 and "babe" from verse 2, because at that stage she hasn't even noticed him. "Girl" might work better. Or even better would be to give her a name. Songs where the girl has a name are more memorable imo... Thanks, Gavin. I appreciate your thoughts. Interesting concept about using a specific name. I'm not sure if the singer would actually know her name early on in the story, but I agree it would give the song more individualism for sure. Thanks for listening and commenting! Rob
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Joined: Jul 2011
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Love it Rob..............a super clean demo. Light, and fast moving. Sounds like a lot of fun. And as many say, the fun is in the chase! ;-) -Tom
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I think you should cut your drum tempo by half and try for a riff. "Slow down" {riff} "Aw baby, slow down" {riff}, give it some attitude!  Thanks for the feedback/idea. To be honest, this one popped into my head pretty much as is, and I never really liked any of the different approaches I tried. So I figured I'd stop fighting it and just roll with it.  I'll play around with this concept. Much appreciated! Rob
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Joined: Jan 2011
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I like this pretty much as is. Very catch chorus!
I would like to hear the vocals more buried into the music. Get those guitars up a bit and rock!
Sing has a really good vibe.
Nice work.
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Joined: Jun 2019
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Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you slow the song down, just the drum rhythm. Make it less mechanical and driving, but more "choppy"! Does that make sense?
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you slow the song down, just the drum rhythm. Make it less mechanical and driving, but more "choppy"! Does that make sense? Gotta agree with JAPOV ... the drums should have more attitude.. IMO there is not enough variety/change to keep me wanting to listen. The vocals need a little work..maybe a key change
VNORTH2
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Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you slow the song down, just the drum rhythm. Make it less mechanical and driving, but more "choppy"! Does that make sense? Yes, I believe so. I'll play with a few patterns that (in the terminology of someone who is not a drummer  ) have fewer, but more powerful beats. Thanks!
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Joined: Jul 2008
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Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you slow the song down, just the drum rhythm. Make it less mechanical and driving, but more "choppy"! Does that make sense? Gotta agree with JAPOV ... the drums should have more attitude.. IMO there is not enough variety/change to keep me wanting to listen. The vocals need a little work..maybe a key change Got it. I'll try sprinkling in a little more variety (and attitude) in as well. And thanks for your thoughts on the vocals!
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Joined: Jul 2008
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Rob, I mean this with complete sincerity, not trying to be funny, the song should be called "hurry up" or Speed up, not slow down, cause the track is moving. I get that the girl is fast and your asking her to slow down, but i think its more of an upbeat song.
You dont need a riff cause the underlying line is infectious, it just needs to be heard more prominently.
It doesnt need to be taken literally, dont have to call it speed up or hurry up, but a lyrical theme that invoves movement, its more like an exercise track. New lyrics are in order.
My take.
Interesting idea concept of aligning the title with the speed of the song. It came to me while exercising, so I guess sounding like an exercise track makes sense.  Appreciate your thought about making the underlying line more prominent. I'll play around with that. Thanks for listening and your thoughts!
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Joined: Jul 2008
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Love it Rob..............a super clean demo. Light, and fast moving. Sounds like a lot of fun. And as many say, the fun is in the chase! ;-) -Tom Really appreciate it, Tom. Thanks for listening and commenting.
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Joined: Jul 2008
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I like this pretty much as is. Very catch chorus!
I would like to hear the vocals more buried into the music. Get those guitars up a bit and rock!
Sing has a really good vibe.
Nice work. I have to agree that I would LOVE to bury my vocals LOL. But I will definitely try mixing them lower and pumping up the guitars. Thanks, Ricky. Much appreciated.
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Joined: May 2021
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Hey it sounds good! Congratulations for the great work.
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Joined: Aug 2002
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From the title, I expected the verses to be fast with a change of pace in the chorus. The song is well-written. I was just looking for more dynamics. Best of luck.
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Hey it sounds good! Congratulations for the great work. Thanks for the listen and the comment. Appreciate it.
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From the title, I expected the verses to be fast with a change of pace in the chorus. The song is well-written. I was just looking for more dynamics. Best of luck. Thanks for your feedback, and for the listen.
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