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#1177266 - 06/04/21 05:28 PM Next On The News (Scratch Track)  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 263
ejlawrence Offline
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ejlawrence  Offline
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Greater Los Angeles
Hello everyone. Glad to know Covid 19 is on the wane. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.
I've been working on new music. Here's "Next On The News" - a blusey/jazzy scratch track about a person in a relationship that isn't going anywhere but the person needs a "push" about the relationship. I got the idea for the song after after watching a TV comedy sketch parodying a CNN story. Maybe you know someone in the same situation, Let me know what you think. Many thanks.

Next On The News
Copyright 201
Emmanuel Lawrence

~4:30, Jazzy R&B, Female or Male Lead

VERSE 1
Good morning, sister
Here are the dayís headlines
Evening dark has given way to light
And the sun is starting to shine
The Earth is revolving
Twenty-four hour, steady routine
Donít leave your TV screen
Hereís breaking news:

CHORUS
He don't love you
But you seem confused
I'm just saying
What you already knew
And next on the news (2X)

VERSE 2
This just in: He ain't coming back
Good, he's less than you deserve
Square peg, round hole, don't fit
CNN and your girlfriends confirm
So why are you moping?
This change is just what you need
Donít walk away from the screen
Iíve got breaking news:

REPEAT CHORUS

SCAT BRIDGE

VERSE 3
Iíve got a live update
From our field reporter
Regarding your situation
Seems a caring manís in order
Now, straighten up, girl
You know just what I mean
Come close to the screen
Hereís important news:

AMENDED CHORUS & OUTRO
Youíll find the man that loves you
Youíre not confused anymore
I'm just saying
What you knew before
Go enjoy the dayís sunny view
And next on the news (2X)
Heíll be good-looking, too
And next on the news (2X)

https://www.reverbnation.com/emmanuellawrence/song/32685133-next-on-the-news-scratch-track

#1177274 - 06/04/21 07:36 PM Re: Next On The News (Scratch Track) [Re: ejlawrence]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,766
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
An intriguingly original idea. It's a rough scratch track, but it lets me hear what you're trying to do. I think this could be really good. However, I also think it's too long. One thing you could do is make the tempo a little faster. I don't think you'd lose any of the bluesy feel, and it might help to hold the listener's interest. You could also cut some of the ending, of course. Looking forward to hearing how this turns out.

#1177400 - 06/07/21 07:39 PM Re: Next On The News (Scratch Track) [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 263
ejlawrence Offline
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ejlawrence  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 263
Greater Los Angeles
Gavin, thanks for listening and the suggestions. I'll post a new version of the track when completed. Much appreciated.
-Emmanuel

#1177419 - 06/08/21 11:42 AM Re: Next On The News (Scratch Track) [Re: ejlawrence]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 4,131
Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Posts: 4,131
It's a fantastic idea, I dont think you nailed it, but what do I know. I think you coulda have made the "other" news fit the news of the song together better. And made as if the girl is clicking on the tv and this was what she saw/heard. Not you telling her and next on the news, make the song THE news. If that makes any sense.

I love the scatting, i might have not done some many repeats, and next and next and next, what's NEXT on the news isnt important, what's important is HE DONT LOVE HER. I think anyway. Thats the focus, you're just using the news broadcast as a way of letting her know....

I think melody wise you're running through the words without anything coming through, without the words on the thread, i dont think id understand what was being sung.

I know its just a ruff thing, the vocals and the idea is the best thing about it so far, could be tightened, but thats just one guys opinion.

Good work.







Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/08/21 11:59 AM.
#1177518 - 06/09/21 04:22 PM Re: Next On The News (Scratch Track) [Re: ejlawrence]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 263
ejlawrence Offline
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ejlawrence  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 263
Greater Los Angeles
Fdemetrio, thanks for listening and the suggestions, too! Much appreciated.

-Emmanuel


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