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My daughter Facetimed me yesterday and gave me a virtual tour of her shiny new apartment. A couple of hours later I had this song. It was written with her in mind as the singer and would be best that way I think, but for this version I added an intro and a few words to convert it into a song for a guy to sing.

https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/new-apartment/s-a63g4WWfPLD

NEW APARTMENT
Words & Music by Gavin Sinclair

I woke up on the couch again this morning, empty cans and a pain in my head
My baby wasn't there, so I called her, and you'll never guess what she said...

I got a new apartment, all shiny and clean
With all new appliances, that new apartment sheen
Getting rid of all that junk that I don't need, everything's brand new
And when I say all that junk, honey, that includes you
Too

CHORUS
Cos you don't fit in my kitchen, there simply isn't space
And I don't want you on my couch, cluttering up the place
Your face, your clothes, heaven knows you don't fit with my decor
The only place where you'd look right is on the other side of my door

She said...
You can keep all those dishes piled up in the sink
Figure out how to wash them, they're starting to stink
And when your friends come round to play video games, drink beer and eat wings
They can use the vacuum cleaner. It's that big old wheely thing.

CHORUS
Cos you don't fit in my kitchen, there simply isn't space
And I don't want you on my couch, cluttering up the place
Your face, your clothes, heaven knows you don't fit with my decor
The only place where you'd look right is on the other side of my door

Don't come moanin' on my entryphone 'n
Calling me hard hearted
Stay down there, I just wanna breathe air
In which you haven't farted

CHORUS
Cos you don't fit in my kitchen, there simply isn't space
And I don't want you on my couch, cluttering up the place
Your face, your clothes, heaven knows you don't fit with my decor
The only place where you'd look right is on the other side of my door

Ok.

The title drew me in...because...Gavn + New apartment = something that must be investigated.
and then the father-daughter connection intensified the curiosity.

The climactic experience came at

"You can keep all those dishes piled up in the sink
Figure out how to wash them, they're starting to stink."

except that ...I am not the offend--ee. I am the guy who easily co-exists with the dirty dishes. My wife will testify.
You put me there Gavin. I laughed out loud.

Cute song.

You just had to didn't you?
That last verse brought forth a chuckle.

Very amusing.

Vic

Hi Gavin,
My only critique is "Very well done!" This sounds like what I told my first wife. We lived together for about a year, and everything was fine. When we got married I splurged and bought new furniture, dishes appliances etc. Then she stopped doing any housework at all. She wasn't working, so no excuse there. I finally got tired of the dishes in the sink so i washed them and gave everything to Goodwill. Then went out and bought paper plates, plastic eating utensils and aluminum foil for cooking. After she kept leaving that dirty all around the house I moved out. This song hits home. I loved it.

Thanks Martin, glad you enjoyed it. Just one of those songs that kind of appears in your mind unbidden and you think, "Oh well, why not?"

Gavin,

I do hope, and I'm sure your daughter understands your satire--my daughter just turned 21 and shares an old but first apt at college with three other gals--so I can also relate. Another good write from you--you always amuse and certainly have your own style--a good thing. It does remind me of some of the "folk comedy" from the early 60's.

steady-eddie

Gavin,

Great job of getting inspiration from something that happens every day...This is hilarious, but man it happens

Hi Gavin:

Humor and creativity rolled neatly into one clever song... bouncy, relate-able and complete with a whistling solo. Nicely written and performed. Funny where and how "inspiration" can enter the picture. Enjoyed my listen.

Have a great week, ----Dave

I'm sure she loves you, you might have to grovel and stop being a slob though.
I was the tidy one in our former marital home, happily she's gone now. Fck great great being on my own
A chuckle or two Gavin, enjoyed it
Regards
John

Thanks for listening and the kind words, Eddie. Sorry it took so long to respond. Ironically, I'm helping my daughter move in to the New Apartment. Add in the complications of a new puppy and a washing machine that flooded the place on the first night and you'll understand why I haven't had time to post!

I had a song called apartment for rent, on a more serious side....

This was fun. I'm not sure how to critique your stuff cause it's always so " I don't give a chit" kinda humour.

You have sort of a dark comedy , self deprecating tone.

Maybe a musical comedy album is in the cards.

Thanks Steve. Funny how some songs take months and other times something gets the old imagination running and, bam, there's a song

Thanks for listening and commenting, Dave. Bouncy is a good way to describe what I was going for. I think it has a bit of a sing-along melody - at least I hope so.

Haha - I love how real life events can inspire a song
Great new twist on the tired old "she got up and left me" song
Super laid-back vibe (maybe too laid back ) vibe.
Good clear vocals and conversational lyrics.
And the whistling was a good choice.
No nits, really enjoyed this
Paul

Thanks for listening, John. Ironically, my daughter is anything but tidy. I suspect things might change now that she has her own place. Somehow I didn't think a song about someone moving into an apartment and leaving her stuff all around it had quite the same comic potential, although, now I come to think of it, a first verse describing the beautiful pristine apartment when someone moves in and a second verse about what it looks like a month later has potential. I might just write that one

Thanks FD, I do write quite a lot of humorous (I hope) songs. If I ever did put any of them on an album, I'd probably mix them up with other kinds of songs. A couple or three funny songs on an album is refreshing. A whole album of them risks becoming boring, unless you are really, really good at it.

Thanks Paul. Yes, it is quite laid back. It was originally written for a female singer, without the introduction, so it's more her feelings which are happy ones than anything he might be feeling .

Gavin,

I love the type of music you do . . . and the way you do it. As Eddie referenced, it reminds me of some of the folk comedy musicians from days back . . . but your lyrics aren’t just written for the laugh . . . they have truth and they have feeling. You have a way with words and a way delivering them that makes your songs so very gravitating. This is no exception.

Kudos!

All my best,

Deej

Thanks for the very kind words, Deej.