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Landing
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/06/23 04:48 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/06/23 11:20 AM
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"Dwell"
by bennash - 12/06/23 09:55 AM
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4 Artists
by Guy E. Trepanier - 12/03/23 07:19 PM
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Snuts
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/03/23 05:01 AM
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1
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OP
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VIDEO IS DONE "Cry of the Young" VIDEO(c)1997 Steve AltonianOn a cold hard city night There’s kids at play playing with guns & knives Someones child dies Battle lines are being drawn City streets blast out the sound of war Someone pays the cost When you look around you can see the cry of the young Lives are over before they ever get to start If you listen really hard you hear the cry of the young Things aren’t how they used to be In a land of locked doors & broken dreams Someones mother cries Heading down a one-way road In search of something that they can’t find at home Someones baby’s lost When you look around you can see the cry of the young Lives are over before they ever get to start If you listen really hard you hear the cry of the young
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,913 Likes: 9
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Should work. Maybe with the full band just coming in on the chorus.
It'll be interesting to hear the final.
Vic
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Joined: May 2010
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Very relatable song, I can see the relevance to today.
I really like the phrasing of it, my only suggestion would be in this line
"Battle lines are being drawn"
I would try to vocally emphasize "being" but try to stress "drawn".
I enjoyed it and what it says.
Tammy
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Should work. Maybe with the full band just coming in on the chorus.
It'll be interesting to hear the final.
Vic Yeah, I was gonna come in there, but the intimate first CHORUS is an interesting spin on the tune...I would lose that element I did not have on the original I can't do both....LOL
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Steve,
This works really well as is. I think Vic has the right of it, that the chorus needs just a bit more thickness and lift--but not much. For me, the drums in the second half of the song feel a little bit busy for the song, but that may come out in the wash as you add more--just something to think about as you move forward with it.. Definitely something worth working on, and I’ll look forward to hearing the fuller version.
Best regards,
Deej
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Steve,
For me, the drums in the second half of the song feel a little bit busy for the song
Best regards,
Deej OBSERVANT....Totally changed drums and bass..
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,262 Likes: 19
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Hi Steve.............very relevant and relatable. Good production. Good performances....................my only nit is that there is no rhyming in the lyric. Now, it's here where I do stick to rules.
Good luck...........you have a winner!
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