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glynda Offline OP
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Wrote this and now found I didn't finish it, but will get to it, lots to take out and lots to keep..will finish it soon thanks, glyn

Turn, Don't Look Back , Walk Away

There's this woman living inside of me
I think I use to know
the kind of woman i'd always want to be
so sure of herself, head on straight
wonder why she had to go
then this thing called man
came, broke her heart, stole her soul away
seems like only yesterday
he turned, didn't look back, walked away

I was much younger then
when my heart was new
so naive', thought kissing was a sin
fell deep in love with the first guy I knew
thinking back, what am I gonna do
I was such a fool......................

Will my heart find love again
can my soul be re-newed
is there a chance for Me to win
is there love to be pursued
thinking back, what am I gonna do
I was such a fool.......................

There's this woman living inside of me
I think I use to know
the kind of woman i'd always want to be
so sure of herself, head on straight
wonder why she had to go
then this thing called man
came, she broke his heart, stole his soul away
seems like only yesterday
it was ME that made HIM turn, don't look back, walk away

Br
That look on his face, as I told him to leave
when he told me that he loved me
wanted to take my hand and make me his bride
the emotions running all through me
weren't what one would expect, didn't know how
to except his love, instead I made him leave....
I told him to turn, don't look back, walk away

Ch
There's this woman living inside of me
I think I use to know
the kind of woman I'd always want to be
so sure of herself, head on straight
wonder why she had to go
at her hands, she destroyed this man
SHE broke His heart, stole His sole away
seems like only yesterday
it was Me that made Him turn, don't look back, walk away

Oh dear lord, it was ME, that made HIM turn, don't look back

WALK AWAY...................





Last edited by glynda; 01/01/10 12:03 PM.
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Hey lady...this is nice...lots of good lines in here.


I think if you dropped what appears to be the third verse...keep the next (they say the same thing but th efourth says it better, imo. The melody sounds good...maybe tighten up the chorus a bit..it's got a lot going on in there....just some suggs after one run through..

Turn, Don't Look Back , Walk Away

There's a woman living inside of me
I think I use to know
the kind of woman I want to be
wonder why she had to go
then this thing called man
broke her heart, stole her soul away
seems like only yesterday
he turned, didn't look back, walked away

I was much younger then
when my heart was new
so naive', thought kissing was a sin
fell deep in love with the first guy I knew
thinking back, what am I gonna do
I was such a fool......................

Will my heart find love again
can my soul be re-newed
is there a chance for Me to win
is there love to be pursued
thinking back, what am I gonna do
I was such a fool.......................

There's a woman living inside of me
I think I use to know
the kind of woman I want to be
She didn't really go
then this thing called man came, stole his soul away
seems like only yesterday
it was ME that made HIM turn, don't look back, walk away

You'd think after all these years
the memories would disappear
but his name still brings the tears
within myself, what was I trying to hide
I was such a fool.....................

Br
He told me that he loved me, wanted to take my hand
emotions ran through me, I couldn't accept this man
A crushed look on his face, as I told him to leave
Made me wonder if this was who I wanted to be

Ch
There's this woman living inside of me
I think I use to know
the kind of woman I'd always wanted to be
wonder why she had to go
at her hands, she destroyed this man
SHE broke His heart, stole His sole away
seems like only yesterday
it was Me that made Him turn, don't look back, walk away

Oh dear lord, it was ME, that made HIM turn, don't look back

WALK AWAY...................



Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
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glynda Offline OP
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ok my Lady,, I like the changes, was a rough draft and was thinkin on what to change, but this works, have already sent it to Heather with promises i'd change something, she has 3 others of mine she's working on..and thanks, this is better...glyn

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Glyn:

Don't know if this is your story, but a very common syndrome, especially for those who may have come of age during the "me generation" years when many left behind their loves of several years assuming that the grass was greener elsewhere. And more often than not the other person didn't really do anything wrong; the other party was just restless.

Wish to harness my own energies to make some of my pieces mover forward, and may PM you on this soon.

Peace,
Brian

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glynda Offline OP
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Be glad for you to Brian and no this too, was just all made up in my head...may change it around, don't know yet....thanks for reading it...glyn

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Great muse Glynda ... you are on a roll girl
great song ... as always my friend


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can't wait to hear this Glynda It will be wonderful


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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Dan, Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, been out of town working and thanks for liking this...I do appreciate you taking your time to help me...glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Hi, sorry bumping for Caroline to see, and to ask iffin' she wants to cowrite this with me and let's get it finished...thanks glyn

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it was Me that made Him turn, don't look back, walk away

Everything on Caroline's revision works well accept the line I copied and pasted. It just doesn't make to much sense to me. It may be because I'm up to late but who knows. I think the last lines of the chorus from the original work better. JMO


I do custom myspace pages! Check out my work http://www.myspace.com/naomisuemontgomery and http://www.myspace.com/nashvilleapril email me at nmontgomery1984@yahoo.com for mor info or message me on JPF!
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Glynn and Caroline,

I absolutely love the story this tells!!!

I don't usually play around with other peoples songs, unless they have THAT FEEL, so I fiddled with the first part to give you another way to look at it.

I'd start with v1 to not give away the hook to soon.
Keep any or all, or toss it altogether. Just my thoughts cause sometimes rewrites take 'em where you didn't want 'em to go.LOL!
(I do get a commercial feel here!)

V1
I was too young back when,
Unbroken hearts were brand-new,
Taught that kissin' was a sin....
But he really was the one,
Mama forgot to mention,
And I was such a fool back then....

Chorus
There's a woman in me,
That I need to know,
We only just greeted,
Before she had to go..
Cause a man came along,
Broke a heart where we lay,
Took his turn.. then walked away....
Wish mama'd told me bout that.. yesterday..

V3
After the hurt that I feel,
Can I kindle a flame,
Will I make love that's real....
I was the part of the blame,
That mama forgot to mention,
I was such a fool back then....

chorus ...........
................
V3 bridge??
Just another idea.

Geneva





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glynda Offline OP
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Naomi and Geneva,

Sorry I didn't see this till now, been really busy, but thanks for commenting on this one, forgot bout it.. Will see what I can do to finish it up..thanks again...glyn

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OK, maybe since the year is starting, I can get back into things...so sorry, didn't mean to abandon you glyn! My aunt has lung cancer, she's been on chemo and radiation so I haven't had a chance to get online in quite soem time. I didn't forget, I had this one out here in front of me, just havne't been looking at it as I should have been. I have a melody in mind and if you don't mind giving me a couple days to work it through, I'll send it to you soon, it feels right for it, so if you like it we can get it sung and musicated soon. I appologize for leaving and being gone so long!

That line Naomi plucked out, that does need the fix...

i made him turn, i didn't look back, i walked away

hmm????maybe, maybe not, something to that effect though.


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
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glynda Offline OP
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Bump

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A personal one Glyn by the look of it.
Nicely written.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

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http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

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glynda Offline OP
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Thank you Vic..but no it's not personal..I thought up the title and went from there..don't know how I came up with the words...just where it lead me..trying to come up with a twist not blaming it on the man...making it the woman's decision for ct the breakup...but still working on it..tks for looking at it..


glyn

Last edited by glynda; 12/27/19 06:19 PM.
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Gee, your last post is the very same thing as is in effect with many of my pieces. In fact on Christmas morning I wrote my latest piece though probably won't be on the board for a while as I am just beginning to post from my batch of 2019. For the last ten years I have delivered flowers for a local flower shop during the Christmas poinsettia season. One day I stopped at a convenience store to pick up something and I mentioned to the lady behind the counter that I was delivering flowers, to which she replied something like "Why don't you bring me a flower?" I know she was only kidding but it nevertheless was a lightning moment. The theme I came up with was with a man who leaves his love behind and goes off on some perceived great adventure. He calls her and she thinks the spark is still there so she invites him to come to her but says "Bring me a flower when you come". Just an example.

Where the song is concerned, it is a finished piece after ten years? Would love to hear the finished product. First thing that came to my mind when I saw the title was the Everly Brothers classic "Walk Right Back", later done by Anne Murray as well.

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glynda Offline OP
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No it's not personal...just something that came into my mind..actually another one that I'm not sure where it came from..just my silly head playing with me when I should be sleeping...


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