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The last song in the song a week run.....song #105.

I feel this one needs some tweak but is a song I love and want to move forward with. I was in a bad/dreary headspace and was tired of being heart broken in the dead of a harsh winter......soo....with the first sunlight on my wall that season, out came this little number about spring.

all comments welcome but bear in mind....all I need is "is it worth pursuing" to YOUR ears?

https://maccharles.bandcamp.com/track/let-in-her-light


she mix her paint,
she dipping her paint brush-
she rain her blossom all over spring-

she give you bloom,
she silver your lining,
her cherry candy hang in the tree-

get outta bed,
put some cream in your coffee,
let in her light, let in her light-

red apple ribbon,
on a strawberry morning,
let in her light, let in her light-

she brush cotton candy,
into the sunrise-
she orange and yellow every bee-

she rose your glasses,
and butter your sunshine-
happy swimming like a bug in a jug of her honey tea-

get outta bed,
put some cream in your coffee,
let in her light, let in her light-

red apple ribbon,
on a strawberry morning,
let in her light, let in her light-

you're still in bed and playing dead again,
and the same old gray is hanging on your wall-
her light is shining, you should let her in,
open up and find yourself in love with it all-

get outta bed,
put some cream in your coffee,
let in her light, let in her light-

red apple ribbon,
on a strawberry morning,
let in her light, let in her light-

Dude, that's awesome.

OMG...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YES!!!

Sounds very good to me, Mac.
Vocal and arrangement is pro.
Not sure about the use of "she" rather than "she'll" or "she's" but I probably wouldn't have noticed if the lyrics weren't there to read. Maybe you have a reason for that, that I'm missing.
Vic

Hi Mac,
I haven't heard a lot of your stuff, I've been mostly out of here for a few years but this one is a 2 thumbs way up.Tons of good imagery. Good luck with it.

Morning Mac:

I saw the song "tacked-up" here yesterday and had too many things going on to take time to listen. I'm glad I waited 'cause this one deserves the "listeners" full attention. (The beat and melody alone don't need attention... but the words and phrasing are so important in the message of the song.) Home Run, and a resounding "YES"... it will "chart" for you if the "gates" can be pried open.

As always, best of luck with your music. ----Dave

Worth pursuing? Na.... lol

What you have here is one of the great catchy choruses i've heard from you or any forum! I love those claps, just adds to the joy of it. Has hit written all over it.

What a killer chorus, the sentiment perfectly matched with the feel of the tune and music.

Great vocals, great harmonies, GREAT dueling harmony guitar solos!

The want to push you even more forces me to say, you NEED some sort of melodic hook in your intro and between chorus and verse. The chords your playing are cool but some sort of melodic hook on top of it would seal it for me.

I love the drum sound as well. One other tidbit, if the guitars had a bit more bite, it might allign with the garage movement we have these days. Like a bigger power pop sound.

This sound seems to be your style, and it sounds great, it's just im thinking I could hear this on Little Stevens Underground Garage radio show, and him giving you the coolest song on the week award.

Fee-nominal man!

Wow!
Everything works fine in this song, music, lyrics, voice, rythm, arrangement, etc.
I especially like the chorus.


Have fun!

Loved it Mac!

What I think is worth mentioning when I hear your songs is that I think, "this sounds like Mac." When someone can say that about you, it means that you have your own originality, of course we all have our influences, but you are you!

With the production, which is fab, I thought my ears might like 2b less on the snare back-beat since you are a more mellow vocalist--maybe even a little more crisp snare or tambo complimenting snare in chorus--not sure, just thought a little more metalic crispness in places "may" be cool. (I think I have always preferred hearing "more" of the metal snares less tight than the natural sound of the snare drum growing with late 60's-70's rock music) so my ears may be biased with that conventional more metalic thump. I've had conversations with a younger drummer on some of my songs where we disagreed on the best snare sound! Yours is fine.

You are a serious talent IMO, enjoyed this very much.

steady-eddie

CG, thank you...I'll take that as an up vote!

Hiya Ricki, heh heh....thank you for the resounding yes!

Vic, I used "she" to give it more of a quaint feel, or old language feel....that's it. Thanks for the spin!

John, welcome back!....and thanks for the up vote!

Hey Mac,

Yep it's a winner and a keeper. Great chorus and i especially like the bridge. What a feel good song !

cheers, niteshift

Well worth it Mac, excellent write keep it going
John

I got to this one late. Glad I found it. What a great song! Really catchy melody and full of delicious lines. I particularly like...

she rose your glasses,
and butter your sunshine-
happy swimming like a bug in a jug of her honey tea-

...but really there are no filler lines, every one is a joy.

Dave, thanks for the spin and "yes"!

Fd, thanks for the thumbs up...and you might be right about adding a hook in those spots!

Guy, thank you!

Eddie, drums are always an issue, but seeing as how this was written and recorded in two days, I was stuck with what I had. Thanks for the upvote!

Very pleasant to listen to.

Night, thanks for the upvote!

John, thank you sir!

Gavin, thank you!

Martin, thanks for the spin and upvote!


Okay, looks like a winner, the list is at three now


Thank you all.

Indescribably delicious!!!!!


Regards,


Bob

Well actually...love, love, love it...all of it...lyrics..music, vocals ...so happy I got to listen to it and really enjoying it..

glyn

Great "feel good" vibe here! Partridge Family came to my mind for some reason lol...

Bob, glynda, japov....thanks for the props!

Hello Mac,



So fresh.
IMPRESSIVE WORK.


Calvin

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=11440

Thanks Calvin!