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#1158464 - 11/07/19 12:11 PM Deep Blue Sea  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

Top 40 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Minneapolis
Here's a new one, with a strange collection of instruments led by a banjo...curious how this strikes people. Thanks in advance for listening.

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13943145

Deep Blue Sea

Sailing off, sailing off to the deep blue sea
Sailing off, sailing off to the deep blue sea
There’s just too many people
And they just won’t let me be
Sailing off, sailing off to the deep blue sea

All alone, all alone on the deep blue sea
All alone, all alone on the deep blue sea
But there’s just as many people
And they’re sailing off like me
All alone, all alone on the deep blue sea

Show your love, show your love and rescue me
Show your love, show your love and rescue me
Now I know the tears of the lonely
Are what make up the deep blue sea
Show your love, show your love and rescue me


©Mark Kaufman, October 2019

[Linked Image]

#1158465 - 11/07/19 12:36 PM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,015
9ne Offline
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9ne  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,015
N.E. of Toronto
Not a banjo fan-but it works here! Loved the melody, loved the vocals! (Kind of a Clapton feel)
Felt like it needed a chorus, or bridge, or some kind of musical/vocal statement between each verse.
The ending after 3:05 seemed like a bit of an add on without purpose.

Always, always, enjoy your work Mark!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1158474 - 11/08/19 05:57 AM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.

#1158483 - 11/08/19 11:56 AM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: 9ne]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Minneapolis
Originally Posted by 9ne
Not a banjo fan-but it works here! Loved the melody, loved the vocals! (Kind of a Clapton feel)
Felt like it needed a chorus, or bridge, or some kind of musical/vocal statement between each verse.
The ending after 3:05 seemed like a bit of an add on without purpose.

Always, always, enjoy your work Mark!
-Mike


Thanks Mike!

Yeah, it started out as three verses like this, and since it was basically a modified blues pattern with a repeating title in play, I wasn't feeling the pull to a chorus. I let it just stop on the last V chord with the organ, but that way of ending sounded sort of torn off, which I had mixed feelings about. I almost added a solo verse before the last verse, but that seemed like a recipe for an even more repetitive, longer song. So I started hearing this sort of wind-down outro in my head, and played it out...it does seem unrelated, its only purpose to create an exit.

Great feedback, thank you.

#1158484 - 11/08/19 11:56 AM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Minneapolis
Originally Posted by Calvin


Thanks Calvin!

#1158489 - 11/08/19 02:39 PM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice (D) Offline
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Dave Rice (D)  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Texas
Hi Mark:

The banjo and that funky sounding bass seemed to work well together. Sometimes experimentation is needed to find out what works... or doesn't... LOL! I enjoyed my listen. That crazy "album jacket of floating eyeballs" grabs the attention of potential listeners.

Am I mistaken or has soundclick cleaned up it's site... or is this a membership fee version?

All the best, ----Dave

#1158511 - 11/09/19 11:01 AM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,659
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,659
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Oh yeah! I really enjoyed this. For me, the bass is the star in this one. I don't think it needs a chorus. To me, the second half of each verse provided the melodic shift that kept it interesting and lyrically had the feel of a chorus.

#1158526 - 11/09/19 12:25 PM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 170
PaulCanuck Offline
Serious Contributor
PaulCanuck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 170
Man that's a great vibe.
Kinda Neil Youngish but funkier smile
Love the vocals and harms, and yes the banjo works here like a charm. smile
Big show ending too - nice!

Paul

#1158592 - 11/13/19 11:55 AM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Dave Rice (D)]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

Top 40 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Minneapolis
Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Hi Mark:

The banjo and that funky sounding bass seemed to work well together. Sometimes experimentation is needed to find out what works... or doesn't... LOL! I enjoyed my listen. That crazy "album jacket of floating eyeballs" grabs the attention of potential listeners.

Am I mistaken or has soundclick cleaned up it's site... or is this a membership fee version?

All the best, ----Dave


Thank you, Dave!

Yes, Soundclick has been totally revamped. It looks a lot different, but the best thing it now does is to allow large WAV files to be uploaded and played, instead of just tinny MP3s. And it's still free to use...I've never taken them up on an upgrade package.

#1158593 - 11/13/19 12:01 PM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

Top 40 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Minneapolis
Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Oh yeah! I really enjoyed this. For me, the bass is the star in this one. I don't think it needs a chorus. To me, the second half of each verse provided the melodic shift that kept it interesting and lyrically had the feel of a chorus.


Thanks Gavin! That's my '72 Rickenbacker 4001 bass. smile

#1158594 - 11/13/19 12:02 PM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: PaulCanuck]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

Top 40 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,588
Minneapolis
Originally Posted by PaulCanuck
Man that's a great vibe.
Kinda Neil Youngish but funkier smile
Love the vocals and harms, and yes the banjo works here like a charm. smile
Big show ending too - nice!

Paul


I'll take Neil Youngish any day. Thanks! smile

#1158748 - 11/21/19 12:00 AM Re: Deep Blue Sea [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,345
JAPOV Online happy
Top 200 Poster
JAPOV  Online Happy
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,345
Great lyrics, great harmony, rhythm driven, LOVE THE BANJO! Nice! smile


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