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#1155877 08/14/19 10:59 PM
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Deej56 Offline OP
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Hi, all:

Its been hard lately finding time for music and the like . . . the real world keeps getting in the way. So finding time to seriously record . . . and spend on JPF . . . has been challenging. Anyway, my vision for this song is actually a more uptempo rock songat least I wrote it with that intent But its going to take me some time to BIAB itassuming I even canso in the meantime, I did this alternate acoustic take on the song. As always, appreciate your support and feedback.

My best to you all on JPF!

Here's the song:

A Bright New Day

Here are the lyrics:

Its been a black rain
everyday, all the same,
with its pitter-patter sound.
Were locked in iron chains,
in the mud, heres the flood
we better swim before we drown.

Shed the restraints
believe and we can make it happen;
make some good out of what aint
just a little more faith can spark a chemical reaction

And break the chains;
clear the fault lines;
till naught remains
but the light of a bright new day.

Must be a good place;
a pretty one, shining sun
in a meadow by the sea.
Lets leave this rat race
turn our backs on the black
and go where we deserve to be.

Seize the moment
shake these bonds and see them shatter.
The futures not set,
and our next day is all that matters.

Lets break the chains;
clear the fault lines;
till naught remains but the light
of a bright new day.

Its nothing: This storm hanging over us.
Theres not one thing really stopping us.
Its a choice that we have to believe in the promise
of a love that we share if wed only be so honest
to embrace our mistakes, put the endless blame behind us,
and dream that we can dream this right,
turn iron to clay and dark to light.

Seize the moment
shake these bonds and see them shatter.
The futures not set,
and our next day is all that matters.

Lets break the chains;
clear the fault lines;
till naught remains but the light
of a bright new day.

(c)2019 DJ Lekich

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Hi Deej,


Fresh - uplifting - and.................cool vocals.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

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Hello Deej.

Oh wow this is so beautiful! I love it just the way it is - guitar and vocal. BIAB would make a fuller arrangement, but as it is now - I love it and I love your vocals.

I especially like these lines:

Lets break the chains;
clear the fault lines;
till naught remains but the light
of a bright new day.

.

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Deej56 Offline OP
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Calvin and Jane,

Thanks so much for the listen--glad it was worth the spin. Not sure I'll get around to doing the rock version to it, but nice to know it worked in its simplest form.

My kindest regards to you both,

Deej

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Hi Dave
Loved this, always been a fan of that unique vouce
Regards
Johb


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hey DeeJay,

Have to agree with Jane. This song is beautiful with just that guitar and vocal. No need to give this a rock production. I love the unplugged version just as is. Great lyric, melody and vocal. Acoustic sounds lovely, as well Ecellently recorded. If anything, maybe double up the acoustic and spread and add some harmonies and you have a killer tune. Already do.

Dave

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Thats always the danger of hearing a rough acoustic take first lol. With your voice however Dee, Id love to hear how you imagine a full production of this! smile

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Its a sweet song. My only nit is that the vocals seem strained. Could be dialed down a notch

Good stuff. It actually reminds me of a band called Gin Blossoms, melodically anyway

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 09/18/19 05:23 PM.
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Hey Deej:

I'll keep an open mind but I don't think this will be improved by a bigger production. It works great with a guitar - only backing. The meaning really comes through with this arrangement. It's really nice!

Scott

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You can add instruments, but a full version will kill it...Violin maybe as well as another guitarist (acoustic) Harmonies would be cool...

Build aroud this, don't re-do it

Just my opinion

BTW, why didn't you name it "Break The Chains"?


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
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Hi Deej,

Beautiful song, sung with much feeling, as is your trademark. I love the intricate prosody and rhythm of the verse lines, almost like nursery rhymes but with syncopation. Excellent phrasing as usual. You grab those high notes very early on. I tend to wait past the first verse, but with you I was thinking, it kind of imbues "the singer" with a beautiful aura and spirit I associate with singers of Gospel music.

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Deej56 Offline OP
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Travis, Dave, JAPOV, Fdemetrio, Scott, Steve, and Mr. Z:

Thank you all for the listen and the feedback . . . it's really appreciated. Glad the acoustic version can stand on it's own--agree that I can probably augment it as Dave and Steve recommend. If I don't do the "rock" version, I will go back and take up your suggestions to fill this one out.

Fdemetrio: Your nit is spot on. I wrote this in standard tuning, recorded it tuned down a step . . . but even then I'm pushing my upper range just a tad. I need to go down another half step (at least), but I'm not fond of tuning down the guitar more than a half-step. If I were to revisit acoustically, I think I would need to compromise some. :-)

Thanks all.

Regards,

Deej

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Hey DJ

I've been heavily distracted by work lately and missed this.

Always enjoy your songs. This one too.

FD is right. You do sound reaching at the top, but I have a lot less range than you and I never tune below standard because the strings start to rattle, even half step low.
The song came across, as is, and it is even arguable that the strain in the vocals expresses the earnestness of the sentiment in the lyric.

Martin

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Originally Posted by Deej56
Travis, Dave, JAPOV, Fdemetrio, Scott, Steve, and Mr. Z:

Thank you all for the listen and the feedback . . . it's really appreciated. Glad the acoustic version can stand on it's own--agree that I can probably augment it as Dave and Steve recommend. If I don't do the "rock" version, I will go back and take up your suggestions to fill this one out.

Fdemetrio: Your nit is spot on. I wrote this in standard tuning, recorded it tuned down a step . . . but even then I'm pushing my upper range just a tad. I need to go down another half step (at least), but I'm not fond of tuning down the guitar more than a half-step. If I were to revisit acoustically, I think I would need to compromise some. :-)

Thanks all.

Regards,

Deej


Dee, sometimes you dont have to change a key, just how you are singing it. You can go softer in volume and still reach those notes, just add a little more air instead of muscle....

You can also try capoing, are you using a software guitar or real guitar?

This is all subjective of course, but i prefer saying something when theres still a chance to make a change if needed, ie... acoustic demo.

Its a good song either way.

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I believe your voice would serve a rock version quite well... Isnt that the trend anyway? Put out the unplugged version later... smile


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