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Joined: Mar 2009
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OP
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1st rewrite
V1 I'd forgotten back where I come from When a man falls in the drink There's no excuse for that thing he does If he's hooked just let him sink
V2 So I decide it's time to drift away My heavy heart becomes a rollin' stone A weight that weighs on me so deep I can't pack up and go back home
Pre chorus Another shot in the dark More voices in my head Not a word of anybody, findin' some good in me yet
Chorus Then she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Her helpin' hands took no pity on me She picked me up in sweet tough love That took a load off a drownin' man Now she's my savin' grace because
Pre chorus Another shot in the dark More voices in my head Everybody needs a kind word, she's not through speakin' yet
Chorus Since she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Bridge I wasn't lookin' for'ta be redeemed When she pulled me from the depths Every lost soul needs a beam of light I found my truth and my happiness
Pre chorus She was a shot in the dark She's the sweet voice in my head Every bit of love I need, andshe's not let go of me yet
Chorus Since she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Back From Who I Am
(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin
V1 My hardened heart had turned to stone That love gone wrong left me petrified Kept me rollin' down twice shy road A man once bitten he don't think twice
Chorus Then she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
She'd chisel at my heart with love Chip away at the life I'd chosen Carve through to this man I become Polish what was left beneath that stone
Chorus When she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Bridge After bein' kicked around like an old tin can Her love has rendered me a defenseless man Whoever says a rollin' stone gathers no moss Hasn't been in her arms where I wanna stay lost
Chorus When she come along She came on strong It took one strong woman to change this man
Ya she came along She still comes on strong I melt like silly putty in her hands
Last edited by nightengale; 09/26/19 11:13 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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I really like the chorus!
I think the verses need to be "written to" "back from who I am".... Does that make sense? Like...
She's a master with a chisel She knows my heart's a stone She terrifies me But at least I'm not alone.....
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Joined: Mar 2009
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OP
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Thanks Tony,
It took me a while to get it but now it makes sense. Ya, I just might give that a try.
Geneva
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Joined: Jun 2019
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Lol... A simpler way to put it is just make it all present tense. You've got a great hook here, keep working it. POUND IT INTO SUBMISSION!! Do you have a rhythm/melody?
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Thanks Tony I'm working on it trying something different.
Got no melody other than the head tune I wrote it to for meter, I don't count syllables.
Geneva
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1st rewrite
Trying to copy and paste to the top
V1 I'd forgotten where I came from When I fell into the drink There what I do makes me what I am I'm just hooked and about to sink
V2 So then I drift like a rollin' stone With a heart heavy as rock A weight that weighs on me so deep Can't pick back up where I didn't leave off
Chorus When she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Her helpin' hand took no pity She didn't judge with her tough love That took a load off a drownin' man Now she's my savin' grace because
Chorus When she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Bridge I wasn't lookin' for redemption When she pulled me from the depths Every lost soul needs a beam of light I found truth and happiness
Chorus When she come along She came on strong Bound to love me back from who I am
Last edited by nightengale; 09/26/19 06:53 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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I wish responding to a thread automatically put you on the follow list lol.... I had forgotten where I'm from When I fell into the drink What I do is what I am And that boat was about to sink I took solace in the storm And dared the cold, dark deep Flew my Jolly Roger and To hell my soul to keep But the sea did me a favor And a siren was my savior She's a warm west wind She's my anchor and a friend She’s a tempest in a dress when I'm turned around I never felt so strong Until she came along Bound to love me back from who I am Just a thought...
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Joined: Sep 2019
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Serious Contributor
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Hi Geneva, Nice to see you again. Your songwriting is progressing well. I really like this one.
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