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#1141174 05/29/18 12:02 PM
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It's hard to get across an inner dialog but Mike Zaneski came as close as possible without actually being inside my head, which is no place a sane person would willingly want to be. smile

All suggestions and comments are welcome. Thanks for listening.

Ricki

https://soundcloud.com/rickib


LOST GIRL

I’ve got this problem, this…friend
I want to help cause she’s sufferin’
She laughs too loud, drinks too much
The parties are never enough
Naively gives her heart away
Feels empty by the light of day

It’s no fun anymore
Waking up on a dirty floor
All the shadow people she knows
Just laugh and say let it go
She holds her dreams in her head
Rewinds and plays them again…like a

Lost girl
Hiding inside her should have dones
A lost girl
Broken but fixable
A lost girl
This is not who she wants to be
A lost girl

So I declare, “You’re beautiful
With qualities irrefutable”
I laugh at my fifty-cent words
That escape my mouth like nervous birds
And warn this next reveal might hurt
Unsure if it’s what she deserves

What’s exposed in the mirror
Will cost as it gets clearer
Don’t want to bruise that shining soul
How do I tell her what I know
One in a million can’t she see
That lonely girl is all me…I’m a

Lost girl
Hiding inside my should have dones
A lost girl
Broken but fixable
A lost girl
This is not who I want to be
A lost girl

© Ricki E. Bellos (BMI)

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Ricki (and Mike),

This is EXCEPTIONAL.

A wonderful write. If I quoted my favorite lines, it would be the entire song.

The production is exquisite. The echoes are awesome (that had to take some work...). Every other part of it, too...

This is one of the best things I've ever heard on this board.

A BIG WOW!!! (to you both).

fj

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You two are "plowing new ground" with this gem of a song, Ricki. Enjoyed my listen. ----Dave

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cool stuff y'all. Mike

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Great stuff. Congrats Ricki and Michael. Great lyric. It has kind of a psychedelic 60’s vibe - a little Lulu meets the Lovin’ Spoonful. Loved it. Awesome job. I knew immediately the “friend” was really the 1st person singer. Rather than being sure, let’s say I had a feeling. Great write.

Dave

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Hi Ricki...I was only able to listen on my phone but the song, vocal and production were wonderful. It's really well done. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
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Beautiful song Ricki (and Mike).That guy consistantly helps turn out great songs!)
I'm a big fan of Fairport Convention and i could hear Sandy Denny in this Ricki.
Best of luck with it
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
floyd jane #1141215 05/30/18 09:30 AM
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A big WOW backatcha, Floyd! Thanks for all the warm fuzzies. The echo factor was essential to the song and Mike was able to make them work just like I heard them in my head, without having to actually go there! smile Thanks for listening.

Ricki

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Thanks, Dave, glad you enjoyed it.

Ricki

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Thanks for tuning in, Mike.

Ricki

GocartMoz #1141219 05/30/18 09:35 AM
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Hi Other Dave! Speaking of psychedelic...another listener wasn't sure if she was high or if I was when I wrote it! grin Yeah, anytime you hear, "I've got this friend..." it's a dead giveaway. Thanks and glad you got it and liked it.

Ricki

couchgrouch #1141220 05/30/18 09:37 AM
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Thanks, Rob, glad you were able to listen at all and that you liked what you heard.

Ricki

Travis david #1141221 05/30/18 09:39 AM
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That's a big compliment, Travis. Mike brings out the heart and soul of every song he touches...lucky me! smile

Ricki

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Hi Ricki,


Nice job, you're sounding good.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #1141268 05/31/18 08:33 PM
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Thanks for checking it out, Calvin.

Ricki

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Ricki,

Gosh that was a great listen! You deserve all the accolades that have come your way. Inspired writing, inspired arranging and a truly outstanding production by Mike.

I was mesmerised for the whole journey... captured by that wonderful melody and those vocals bouncing around hither and thither!

Wow!

All the best,
Noel

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Stunningly well done. The high bar production and vocals support the fine write very nicely.

Y'all done good!!

J&B


Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Nice little song...with a little surprise at the end.

Thoughtful lyrics.

Doug

Noel96 #1141332 06/03/18 04:07 PM
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Thanks so much for listening and commenting, Noel. Glad you liked it.

Ricki

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Hey J&B, thanks for the stunning review. Glad you enjoyed it.

Ricki

Doug Buche #1141335 06/03/18 04:09 PM
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Thanks for listening, Doug. Glad you caught the surprise ending. smile

Ricki

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Ricki

If I was to criticize the song, the criticism would be that the song was too thoughtful. And that level of thoughfulness was lost on most listeners. Personally, I enjoyed it a lot.

Musically for me, it recalled Mama Cass and that era.

Question; What is your meaning for "shadow people," I had two guesses and couldn't help be curious.

Martin

Sunset Poet #1141436 06/05/18 09:55 AM
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Martin, can a song be too thoughtful? smile I'm glad you enjoyed it. "Shadow people" are what I think of as acquaintances, false friends, thoughtless people who can fill up our lives if we aren't discerning enough to weed them out from true friends. They aren't "bad" necessarily, just don't have our best interests at heart. I wasn't trying to be mysterious. Thanks for listening.

Ricki

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Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Martin, can a song be too thoughtful? smile I'm glad you enjoyed it. "Shadow people" are what I think of as acquaintances, false friends, thoughtless people who can fill up our lives if we aren't discerning enough to weed them out from true friends. They aren't "bad" necessarily, just don't have our best interests at heart. I wasn't trying to be mysterious. Thanks for listening.

Ricki


That was my guess as to what "shadow people" meant but wanted to ask. The term is appealing and relatable. So is your explanation.

Martin

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Yes, certainly a touch of Mama Cass, Ricki.
Excellent lyric. The only crit I have is that (at least for my ears) the echo in places is a little too much and sounds muddled with the vocal.
Good one otherwise.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

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Ricki,

Gosh, really like this one, Ricki—particularly the change in rhythm in the middle of the verses and choruses. Beautifully written. And a pretty vocal all the way through. Don’t disagree with Vic that some of the echo could be dialed back just a tad—a slight bit too much with the headphones on. Just something to think about. Great, great tune!

Kind regards,

Deej

Vicarn #1141570 06/07/18 07:48 PM
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Vic, I was going for a bit of internal chaos...too much you think? I'll have to think about that. Thanks for listening.

Ricki

Deej56 #1141571 06/07/18 07:49 PM
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Glad you liked it, Deej...comment noted. Thanks for tuning in.

Ricki

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Very nice work, you guys...

malin


rms
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Thanks for listening, Malin.

Ricki


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