Who's Online Now
17 registered members (JAPOV, CTthomas, ckiphen, Gavin Sinclair, couchgrouch, louderdan, Everett Adams, Gary E. Andrews, 2 invisible), and 320 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Mike Dunbar
Mike Dunbar
Nashville Tennessee
Posts: 8,574
Joined: April 2001
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Seeing what I see
by ckiphen. 05/07/21 10:26 AM
Road I've Never Travelled Before
by Gary E. Andrews. 05/07/21 03:17 AM
Youtube Comments
by R&M. 05/07/21 03:11 AM
Miracles
by JAPOV. 05/06/21 11:05 PM
:So Much Left To Do."
by MFB III. 05/06/21 11:00 PM
Latest tune "Home" would love feedback
by MFB III. 05/06/21 10:38 PM
Some interesting math...
by JAPOV. 05/06/21 09:34 PM
LOVES me, LOVES me not. Vic
by ckiphen. 05/06/21 04:00 PM
All I kew was gone
by ckiphen. 05/06/21 03:58 PM
WHO'S PERFORMING?
by JAPOV. 05/06/21 02:43 PM
I Wanna Be Loved
by MFB III. 05/06/21 10:48 AM
Friday Night Clothes. Vic & Travis
by MFB III. 05/06/21 10:39 AM
One Song at a Time
by MFB III. 05/06/21 10:36 AM
What I did during the pandemic
by VNORTH2. 05/05/21 02:27 PM
i'm not over you
by ckiphen. 05/05/21 01:29 PM
Cold as cold can be
by ckiphen. 05/05/21 01:17 PM
"Home" lyrics
by Val Davis. 05/05/21 10:38 AM
A Heart That's True
by beechnut79. 05/04/21 12:18 PM
Desire to Connect
by beechnut79. 05/04/21 12:16 PM
The chamelon/ Hiding in plain sight
by beechnut79. 05/04/21 12:12 PM
Romance, Candlelight and Daydreaming
by beechnut79. 05/04/21 12:01 PM
Covid in Fiji - An update
by niteshift. 05/03/21 07:42 PM
That Vicious Circle.
by MFB III. 05/02/21 05:48 PM
Jim Colyer, Former Member
by Travis david. 05/02/21 01:37 PM
My birthday today - please help?
by Everett Adams. 05/02/21 06:12 AM
Submssions Wanted for "Pretty Flamingo"
by JAPOV. 05/01/21 07:46 PM
"Sultry Eyes."
by MFB III. 04/30/21 10:53 AM
Unfinished but promising
by Alek. 04/30/21 05:34 AM
"My Radio Man"
by Raymond Byabazaire. 04/30/21 03:33 AM
I'll Be Gone
by beechnut79. 04/29/21 03:03 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,839
Travis david 12,138
Kevin Emmrich 10,938
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,944
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 7,975
Colin Ward 7,909
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,763
Mark Kaufman 6,588
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,111
niteshift 5,789
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,262
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,130
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,952
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,822
beechnut79 3,758
Dan Sullivan 3,710
E Swartz 3,656
Fdemetrio 3,626
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Sunset Poet 3,183
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,865
MidniteBob 2,760
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,226
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,034
maccharles 2,000
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,473
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Deej56 1,372
Charlie Wong 1,347
JAPOV 1,345
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
DakLander 1,265
Gerry 1,265
lane1777 1,254
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,158
IronKnee 1,087
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
9ne 1,015
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
ant 786
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ckiphen 747
Andy K 747
Andy Kemp 741
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Irwin 687
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Pat Hardy 667
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
R&M 606
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 512
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Alek 369
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1140539 - 05/05/18 01:47 PM Seven Days In Vegas (Updated with Floyd's help)  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Seven Days In Vegas
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
Produced, performed and Arranged by David S. Beckr
(c)2018 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

OLD VERSION

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/seven-days-in-vegas

INTRO
VERSE 1

Seven days in Vegas
I spent searching for the prize
Now I'm back in Southern Jersey
Manufacturing a lie
From the Gulf of Mississippi
To the Atlantic City shore
Well I've rolled the dice to often
When I win I just want more

CHORUS
I'm livin' in a ghost town
My ex calls me a clown
Livin' in a ghost town
Her lawyer's got me down
The bank just called my mortgage
And my odds ain't looking real good
Seven days in Vegas (x3)
There's only crap
Where I once stood

VERSE 2
I was dealt two bullets
So I split without a thought
Well the ten grand for her necklace
Was just the tragic loss
Well the dealer turned a dewey
As I choked back on the bile
Another deuce was soon to follow
And the dealer cracked a smile

CHORUS
BRIDGE
I hit a natural high
When I turn a one eyed jack
But then the next card rolls
Just like a knife in the back
It seems with table games
I've lost my little knack
It's really no big deal
Tomorrow I'll hit the track

SOLO
CHORUS


****Update:

Floyd Jane, after listening to my original posting, suggested I needed some piano and organ to really solidify the Springsteen influence. He was kind enough to provide me with some piano tracks and organ, and added killer drum, electric rhythm guitar and bass tracks, as well. In the end, I mixed and matched a lot from his contribution and my original recording and re-arranged much of the song. I re-sang it to be more consistent with the new arrangement and re-did the solo as well. To top it all off, Floyd added some backing vocals. I can't thank him enough. Anyway, I am posting the new version here so you can compare, if you wish.

NEW VERSION

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/seven-days-in-vegas-alternate-version-1

Last edited by GocartMoz; 05/30/18 08:10 AM.
#1140542 - 05/05/18 08:20 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Baltimore, MD
Very cool David.
It has that old school Springsteen vibe to it.
Your vocals, also reminds me of Jon Bon Jovi.

As always your performance has a certain brilliance and the production is right on point.

#1140549 - 05/05/18 11:50 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Fdemetrio Offline
Top 100 Poster
Fdemetrio  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Duhhhddddde! This is awesome man, really and truly it is, I will listen to this many more times for sure.

Bon Jovi vocals, the Boss and all those make or break kind of singer songwriter songs.

The intro kinda sounds like The War On Drugs, which i dig as well.

This could easily be a hit, great chorus, love that drum fill simulating the tumbling dice.

Only nit for me is I thought it could of had some more distortion on guitar, might have added to the power of it.

Loved it man, way to knock it out!

#1140550 - 05/06/18 05:26 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Dave,


Wow, cool song, and such a cool performance.
I liked it all but especially this part lyrically & musically.......

I'm livin' in a ghost town
My ex calls me a clown
Livin' in a ghost town


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1140552 - 05/06/18 08:32 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice (D) Offline
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice (D)  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Texas
Too many reflective thoughts in that well-written lyric for me to mention, Dave. I enjoyed my listen and agree with the thoughts expressed by previous posts. Best of luck with this one... and your work, in general. Thanks for sharing. Send more!

#1140553 - 05/06/18 10:40 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Wisconsin
Dave, your songs and your distinctive sound are always a joy to listen to. Tight lyrics, dynamite vocal and rockin arrangement. Well done.

Ricki

#1140566 - 05/06/18 06:56 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
@Nelson ... Thx much as always Mr. Nelson. I am both delighted and a bit frustrated (just kidding) by your comments- Springsteen is my musical idol and always has been since I was a kid. On the other hand, I have a standing rule in my cover band- No Bon Jovi. He is not a favorite of mine. Thus the frustration part. 😂

In all seriousness, really appreciate your comments.

Dave

Last edited by GocartMoz; 05/06/18 06:58 PM.
#1140582 - 05/07/18 08:10 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
A little more than [naughty word removed] happens frown
Quite a story

#1140588 - 05/07/18 09:20 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Duhhhddddde! This is awesome man, really and truly it is, I will listen to this many more times for sure.

Bon Jovi vocals, the Boss and all those make or break kind of singer songwriter songs.

The intro kinda sounds like The War On Drugs, which i dig as well.

This could easily be a hit, great chorus, love that drum fill simulating the tumbling dice.

Only nit for me is I thought it could of had some more distortion on guitar, might have added to the power of it.

Loved it man, way to knock it out!


Thx much FDemetrio - See comments to Nelson. smile Big SPringsteen fan (Perhaps the biggest). Bon Jovi, not so much. Always appreciate a listen and thx much for your comments. Oh, which guitar parts or part are you referring to, with respect to the distortion, in case I try to make some changes. The rhythm parts, for the most part, are all acoustic so not sure that would sound right distorted. I added, much lower in the mix, a clean guitar with a phaser effect in verse 2 and the bridge. The intro guitar is basically clean with some compression and delay. I assume you were referring to the short lead break before the final chorus. I already have quite a bit of gain on it. I assume that is the guitar you are referring to?

Dave

#1140597 - 05/07/18 10:31 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Fdemetrio Offline
Top 100 Poster
Fdemetrio  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
I've seen Bruce over 30 times...Never saw Bon Jovi. I know what you mean, it seems a bit fabricated, but Bon Jovi if you remove the glam aspect and commercialism, he still sings with conviction and enthusiasm, and is one of the great rock front men of all time. And the band the same thing, they are a great rock band behind the mask. You could do alot worse, it reminds me a bit of born to be my baby.

No, i thought the lead sounded and was great, i just meant a smidge of a buzz playing rhythm all the way through. Check Bruce's Better Days or Leap of Faith for reference

The bridge is a nice surprise harmonically and melodically, but i think you could explode it more with some distortion going into it

Great song I probably listened to it ten times, doesn't happen often

I

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 05/07/18 10:31 AM.
#1140605 - 05/07/18 08:16 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Originally Posted by Calvin
Hello Dave,


Wow, cool song, and such a cool performance.
I liked it all but especially this part lyrically & musically.......

I'm livin' in a ghost town
My ex calls me a clown
Livin' in a ghost town


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart



Thx much Calvin. As always, appreciate the listen.


Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Too many reflective thoughts in that well-written lyric for me to mention, Dave. I enjoyed my listen and agree with the thoughts expressed by previous posts. Best of luck with this one... and your work, in general. Thanks for sharing. Send more!


Thx as well Dave. I always appreciate your time and comments.

Dave


Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Dave, your songs and your distinctive sound are always a joy to listen to. Tight lyrics, dynamite vocal and rockin arrangement. Well done.

Ricki


Thx as well Ricki. Appreciate you giving this a spin and commenting.


Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
A little more than [naughty word removed] happens frown
Quite a story


Crap always happens when I go to Vegas Neil. Usually in the form of my pokers being a lot less full.

Thx all,

Dave

#1140608 - 05/08/18 02:06 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,138
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,138
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Great story Dave.Someone mentioned Springsteen, yeah i get that too.
Good sound
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1140629 - 05/08/18 06:36 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Doug Buche Offline
Top 500 Poster
Doug Buche  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Southern California
Nice...David....has the type of emotion that one could expect of someone with a gambling addiction....
losing but looking forward to "the track"...as if there is no other choice....

Music and vocals complement the lyrics well.

Doug

#1140633 - 05/09/18 12:59 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,765
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,765
UK
Hi Dave.
I like the song. Plenty of punch.
One small nit, for me there seems to be something un synced in the guitar intro.
Maybe too much delay, not sure.
Good one.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1140641 - 05/10/18 02:05 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,087
IronKnee Offline
Top 500 Poster
IronKnee  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,087
Hawaii
Hey there Dave....Love the vibe, and your singing and playing has all the signatures, that I've come to listen for and appreciate.
Good stuff.....good writing (as always!)
-Tom

#1140673 - 05/12/18 09:29 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by GocartMoz
@Nelson ... Thx much as always Mr. Nelson. I am both delighted and a bit frustrated (just kidding) by your comments- Springsteen is my musical idol and always has been since I was a kid. On the other hand, I have a standing rule in my cover band- No Bon Jovi. He is not a favorite of mine. Thus the frustration part. 😂

In all seriousness, really appreciate your comments.

Dave

smile smile smile smile smile

#1140678 - 05/12/18 09:57 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
floyd jane Offline
Top 200 Poster
floyd jane  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Tampa
Dave,

Did you take this down? Soundcloud says it can't be found.....??

fj

#1140687 - 05/12/18 10:15 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida

@Travis, Doug, Vic and Tom ... thx much for the comments and listen.

Hey Floyd,

Yes ... I took it down. Upon repeated listens I was really unhappy with the mix so I am continuing to work on it. I will post after remix.

#1140697 - 05/12/18 10:12 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Well, this certainly has been a difficult one to mix. I meant it to be loud from the word go and overflow with energy throughout. As such, there are not a lot of dynamics in this song and I find it one loud crash of acoustics, drum, bass and vocals. Springsteen is my musical idol and he once told the story of recording Born To Run and he just wanted a wall of sound. No real differentiation in instruments, just a full blast of the band. That is the idea, but I still can't get the mix where I want it. Anyway, here is the latest go around. I am done for awhile, at least. My ears are shot ...

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/seven-days-in-vegas

#1140698 - 05/13/18 02:18 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Fdemetrio Offline
Top 100 Poster
Fdemetrio  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
On this one you fixed the delay, that sounds a lot better.

I don't think this is a song to try for wall of sound.

This is more singer songwriter, more like Bruce's 90's stuff. It needs distortion in the mix, I think the dynamics are out of the bag in the first verse, and you come out swinging right away, not a lot of room to go anywhere.

It is probably closer to this, than btr
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yvxLsZ9Myo0

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 05/13/18 02:30 AM.
#1140703 - 05/13/18 06:18 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,765
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,765
UK
It sounds better, Dave.
If you go back to it at some stage you could try bringing the vocal forward a tad.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1140717 - 05/13/18 01:45 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
@Fdem ... You are definitely right that Lucky Town is a far better template for this than BTR. Maybe this is not the right song for what I was going for. I am going to experiment with some electric in the verses, but I am a bit concerned with overpowering this even more.

@Vic ... Thx Vic ... pulled the vocal up a bit. Also brought down the acoustics a bit. Hopefully, the vocal s are a touch more prominent now.

Thx again for the listen.

Dave

#1140730 - 05/14/18 09:15 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
floyd jane Offline
Top 200 Poster
floyd jane  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Tampa
Dave,

There is A LOT of good stuff in this. An excellent write. The tone of the lyric and the melody capture Springsteen well. Your playing on this is excellent.

The sound of the guitars - both acoustic and electric are excellent. I do think they both need some reverb (and slight delay) for them to sit in the mix where you want them. Also, that would accentuate the vocal without increasing its volume.

The drum fills (that happen 3 times) are a different volume level (and a different reverb level?) than the rest - and really stand out. You need to fix that. (This is all good enough to keep working at it).

I think this would benefit with a bunch of background vocals.

If you really want to get that Springsteen thing (I assume it is the Born To Run thing?) - a piano and organ (especially on the chorus) would fill this out nicely. (Born To Run is a PIANO record - without it being obvious - one of the "genius" things about that record).

This is good stuff. Don't forget... it took months for them to get just the one song (Born To Run) to sound the way they wanted...

fj

#1140733 - 05/14/18 09:40 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,765
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,765
UK
Better again, Dave.
Now, as Floyd says, just need to fix the drum fills.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1140737 - 05/14/18 11:15 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Fdemetrio Offline
Top 100 Poster
Fdemetrio  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Floyd, that was always one of my few criticisms of Springsteen, was that the guitar was not featured in the recordings. Live things changed and they had three guitarists rocking out and changing the arrangements. Darkness on the edge of Town was more guitar oriented as was The River, and they can rock with the best of them but, besides that it was piano and sax most of the time.

"Gocart Mozart was checkin out the weather chart, to see if it was safe outside..."

Yeah Piano and Organ would make it more Brucey, but I still dont think BTR is the template.

Hey Dave, what if you did your delay thing (War on Drugs thing), then cut out drums, did first verse all acoustic, maybe just some kick drum and tambourine. Then on the first chorus, crash the cymbals....livin in a GHOST TOWN, with sustained electric/distortion, and sweep through the first chorus like that, then the second verse the beat kicks in,
things open up, by the time you get to bridge, your at full throttle, then that pause before the solo.

Give it a chance to build, maybe redo vocals to adapt to each part.

I liked it as it was even the first time, but you may be able to build this even better




Last edited by Fdemetrio; 05/14/18 11:19 AM.
#1140739 - 05/14/18 12:24 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,656
E Swartz Offline
E Swartz  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,656
Ohio
Hi Dave,

I like the uptempo and attitude. I'm glad I don't relate to this guy however.........great expressive story and enjoyed your music production and performance as always!

steady-eddie

#1141168 - 05/29/18 02:33 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 44
Noel96 Offline
Serious Contributor
Noel96  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 44
Hi David,

It's easy to tell that you've spent quite a bit of time massaging this song to be the best that it can be. Your vocal ring with passion and sincerity, and I love the energy of your performance. Kudos to you! I don't know which version of your song I'm listening to (give the above comments), but I enjoyed where your music took me.

All the best,
Noel

#1141208 - 05/30/18 08:05 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Thx Vic, Ed and Noel for the comments. Greatly appreciated. Floyd Jane's comments sparked a bit of a collaboration. I have updated this post, as follows:

****Update:

Floyd Jane, after listening to my original posting, suggested I needed some piano and organ to really solidify the Springsteen influence. He was kind enough to provide me with some piano tracks and organ, and added killer drum, electric rhythm guitar and bass tracks, as well. In the end, I mixed and matched a lot from his contribution and my original recording and re-arranged much of the song. I re-sang it to be more consistent with the new arrangement and re-did the solo as well. To top it all off, Floyd added some backing vocals. I can't thank him enough. Anyway, I am posting the new version here so you can compare, if you wish.

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/seven-days-in-vegas-alternate-version-1

Last edited by GocartMoz; 05/30/18 08:11 AM.
#1141211 - 05/30/18 09:24 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Wisconsin
Whoa...your band has undergone some changes! A really fine song has just been jacked up a notch or three. Sounding fantastic! The crowd's going wild!!!! grin

Ricki

#1141225 - 05/30/18 11:05 AM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
@Ricki - Thx for giving the new band a listen Ricki. Much appreciated. Yeah, Floyd can certainly jack up the sound quite a bit. Loved his additions.

#1141227 - 05/30/18 12:11 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
Fdemetrio Offline
Top 100 Poster
Fdemetrio  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 3,626
If I'm being tough, it's cause I want this to be great.

You improved on some things and lost some of your edge on other parts.

The dist gtr sounds great.

The harmonies, love them, those 5ths instead of the thirds, Bruce does that a lot, as well as cutting in on part of the line....excellent (I wasn't crazy about the second time around where the harmony went down, second chorus) but it works.

I might have done something more in first chorus than just piano, I like the intro and verse, but u need to kill it in the first chorus, this sounds more like an unplugged version to that

I thought the second verse should start right away with the beat kicking in, instead of that prelude. Thought u need electric in bridge too it seems to fall out

I was disappointed that U got rid of that drum fill in dice...I thought that was very artistic and clever.

You changed your vocal approach to fit the new music, may have lost a smidge of intensity.

Don't get me wrong, I still love it, just want to raise the bar. This is right in my wheel house so I think I have some value to add.

Floyd did some cool stuff in there, to me it's just a matter of building and building it. We don't get much time in these times

Great work guys.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 05/30/18 12:15 PM.
#1141228 - 05/30/18 01:00 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 9,802
John Lawrence Schick Offline
John Lawrence Schick  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 9,802
PA
Nice vibe David! Transition Music is looking for gambling songs today: http://transition.media/about-2/

Best, John smile

#1141278 - 06/01/18 02:39 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
@Fdem - thx much for the second listen I really appreciate your input and suggestions.

@John - thx for the heads up and listen, as well. Greatly appreciated.

Dave

#1141283 - 06/01/18 06:14 PM Re: Seven Days In Vegas [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521
Janice_and_Bud Offline
Top 200 Poster
Janice_and_Bud  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521
Southeastern USA
That is a STRONG production...great write, performances (vocals and guitar) and the production shines!

Loving it...big time. We'd rather listen more than take the time to parse it out! smile

J&B


Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
lesleedp, totalctrl, fowler47, Entegrity_Oneal, luc
21333 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics121,621
Posts1,144,015
Members21,333
Average Posts Daily26
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"That's just my opinion, I could be right" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
ben willis (2021)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0