JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Rolling On. Vic

I always wish my ancestors had left a letter, telling me a little about how they felt.
Even if I didn't agree with what they said it would still be kind of nice. Trying to do that in my own small way here.
Also, someone told me this would be a good "last dance" song.
Comments appreciated.


https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/rolling-on
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13668431

Rolling on © 2017 Vic Arnold
V1
When I leave this old earth behind me
and pack up my things to go away,
My yesterdays move to tomorrow.
Won't that be one big moving day?
V2
I feel that my time here was fruitful
and I nurtured each seed that was sown.
For the ones that I lost by the wayside,
I am pleased at how well you have grown.
Ch.
Rolling on, rolling on.
The wheels of life keep turning.
Sun and stars controlling all
and this old world still learning.
V3
When I reach my destination,
where ever or how that may be,
I give you the past, so drink from it's glass.
It may not be much but it's free.

Ch.

Nice one Vic! Lovely guitars. (Volume swells?)
A couple of nits:
In the 1V move, (moving) is used 3 times, a bit much for me in a verse. (chorus, of course, is a different animal)

I loved the way you sung the Rollin' line and I'd like to see it used more. (especially as you used "turnin" twice)

As an example:

Rolling on, rolling on
The Sun and stars still holdin' (golden, patrollin' something in that manner)
Rolling on, rolling on
The wheels of life keep rollin'

Enjoyed the song, best of luck!
-Mike
.

Hello Vic,


Beautifully done !


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Vic.

Nice song indeed. Love how it just seems to plow slowly yet deliberately with drive. Verse/chorus really compliment each other as both being strong. Enjoyed this'n!

steady-eddie

Another nice 6/8 Kristofferson-y sound that lacks nothing. This has anthem quality to it. And class.

Beautiful song, Vic.

Mike

Hi Mike 9ne and thanks for the comment and suggs.
As far as I can see, "moving" is only used once and that follows the line with "move" in it.
That was deliberate to emphasise the so called "move".

Your "rolling" sugg would work. Not sure about changing it though.
I'll hold fire on that for the moment.

Thanks again.

Vic

To be clearer Vic: the "move" sound/word is used in the second line, (and move away) the third line, (move to tomorrow) and the fourth. (moving day) That's a lot of move-ment for me, but if it moves you, why remove it?
Best of luck Vic, and as I said; lovely song!

Loads of LOL! My mistake, Mike 9ne. I sang the wrong thing. I didn't write it that way as you can see by the written lyric.
Now I have to redo that first verse.
Thanks for the proof read, you're hired. :-)

Vic

Thank you Calvin.
"Beautiful" is fine by me.

Vic

This is awesome, Vic. I love a navel gazer in the morning!

Just a few things...you said you use "move" in V1 twice to reinforce the moving on feeling but, on the other hand, using it in the third line kind of steals its thunder from the more important use in the forth line. Maybe something else, like "My yesterdays slide into tomorrow"? Just a thought.

Also, while I like the slow, steady pace you chose for this one, a slight bump in BPM would not take anything away from that and would be more in keeping with the moving on feel.

And it seems you didn't stick to your script in the second chorus either, where you sing "and this old world still turning".

Still love this one overall. Well done!

Ricki

LOL! As long as I'm hired Vic, you have "learning" in the last line of the chorus, but sing "turning" which partially led to my earlier suggestions.

-Mike

P.S. Will my remuneration be paid in Pounds, Canadian dollars, or American dollars? This may sound odd, but I don't want to be overpaid, as I prefer not to enter a higher tax bracket!
P.P.S. I'm just using Mike now, but I continue with the 9NE (nine) as a lot of people know me that way from when I joined the interwebs about 50 years ago....

Thanks Eddie.
I did think of a slightly faster speed but then thought naaaah!
Glad you like it.

Vic

Hi again Mike nine.
I used both to differentiate between you and Mike Zaneski.

I have now hopefully corrected the lyrical mistakes and uploaded to Soundcloud. Not done for Soundclick yet though.

I prefer not to use cash too but have a fine selection of glass beads you might like to consider. :-)
Thanks again.
Vic

Thank you Mike.
When I was halfway through the production I thought to myself, this sounds like a hymn.
Dauntless, I persevered.

Vic

A philosophical Vic this time!
When I saw the title my initial thought was a truck, train or river song.
I liked the intro and the concept.
My only suggestion would be to try it out at a faster pace it could work well.
John

Hi Ricki.
Yes, I am a bit of a navel gazer.
Thanks for the suggs. I have already corrected the lyrical errors on the Soundcloud version.
As I mentioned to Eddie, I did contemplate a bump in tempo when I started it, but it didn't feel right to me.
It felt like I was hurrying it along. More a singy songy feel than a blues feel.

Perhaps a different vocalist would sing it in a different way and slightly faster but I always liked a dirge.
I may try it again at some stage, but at the moment it's as is.

Vic

A beautifully sad last dance for sure. Very emotive in vocal and music. Really like the track, it takes you someplace and isn't that a treat if you're movin.

Tammy

Hi Travis and thank you.
Well just as you and Ricki mentioned it, I have upped the tempo slightly by 10bpm which amounts to about seven and a half per cent.
This was only done on the SOUNDCLICK version though for the moment.
Let me know if it makes a difference.

Vic

For some reason....I was hoping for a 9bpm increase...

I did one just for you too.

Hi Vic:

Really enjoyed my listen. Zaneski pegged this one as being in the style of Kristofferson... and I agree... yet there is a story here we all need to heed... and you wrote it and performed it so well. Don't change a thing for me. It's about as good as they get and I'd love to have a front row seat, watching and enjoying your performance. I even felt a bit of "Willie-vibe" in there at times.

----Dave

Thank you Tammy.
I hope it's a happy place.

Vic

Hi Dave.
That's kind of you.
My live performances are now down to the occasional open mike nights and charity performances.
It's a nice thought though.

Vic