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#1132333 - 11/10/17 04:31 PM I Want More  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
swestern Offline
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swestern  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
South Lyon, Michigan

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13654420

A Contemporary Christian song about feeling somewhat abandoned and having lost the closeness we once had with Jesus when we first came to believe. But now, are we really living the life He desires for us or just punching in and out on Sundays? Time for some reflection on how it used to be and why.
Skip

“I Want More”
10/30/17

Can you take me fishing as a summer storm brews?
Or light a fire that I could visit with you?
What more to desire seated with Christ, by a charcoal fire?
Mmm, I want more…

Can you place Your finger in the sands, take away my blame?
Look in my heart, redefine my name?
What’s different now, Am I hidden from Your sight?
Mmm, Jesus, I want more…..

LIFT
And He said…

CHORUS:
I want you the way you used to be
When you lived in My love, searching, pondering
You are beloved, come bind yourself to me
Your body, your soul, all your humanity

I’m here praying in the shade of this fig tree,
Won’t you open up the heavens, send angels for me
Deliver me from this …silence - I want more…
mmm - yeah I want more

May Your dewfall make Yourself known to me
Kiss my heart, heal this leprosy
Touch my eyes, touch my ears, mend my brokenness
Jesus, I want more….

LIFT
And He said…

REPEAT CHORUS:


BRIDGE:
The truth about me is Father
The truth about my love is Mother
Walk through your desert as I thirst for you - mmm

REPEAT CHORUS:

TAG:
I thirst for you, Child won’t you thirst for me

#1132334 - 11/10/17 05:01 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,015
9ne Offline
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9ne  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,015
N.E. of Toronto
Liked the music and your singing. The chorus lyric was focused and understandable. The verse lyrics were not. Your preamble was more succinct and should have been the basis for your lyric, as it says what your intentions were.
Best of luck!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1132495 - 11/16/17 01:52 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
swestern Offline
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swestern  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
South Lyon, Michigan
Mike,
Thank you for your time and thoughtful comments.
The verses grew out of references to specific biblical stories where people came to believe and became closer to Jesus. The singer is desiring to have these types of experiences again and the chorus is meant to remind the singer what kind of sacrifice is necessary.
Thanks again,
Skip

#1132498 - 11/16/17 04:43 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Louisiana
i really enjoyed this song.A nice lyric with some really cool music. Mike

#1132500 - 11/16/17 06:34 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 219
David Snyder Offline
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David Snyder  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 219
North Carolina

I liked this song and the production. The lyrics took risks and were not contrived.

This obviously did not follow a by the book approach to verse chorus structure since the chorus is rather long and not "repetitive."

But I actually liked the stream of consciousness style of experimentation here. I thought it was cool--and, well, spiritual.

smile

Good job.


David Snyder, Composer, Author
Singer-Songwriter, Producer
Regional Chapter Coordinator, NSAI
www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
#1132508 - 11/17/17 02:34 AM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,372
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,372
Swestern,

Love this melody, the vocal and overall execution--the rhythm, the sound, the beat. I tend to be a bit more poetic in my approach to writing lyrics, so I'm more than fine with your verses, and enjoyed sitting back and letting the mood wash over me. It's my personal view, but I don't think a lyric needs to be literal if it sets the mood and pulls you in. Your song, in my opinion, pulls me the listener in, and well.

Listen, IMHO, this could easily hit the radio--no different than what I've heard from O.A.R. or other bands with similar focus. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first thing I've heard from you on this board that I really liked. You're very talented and I enjoyed my listen. Looking forward to hearing more.

All the best,

Deej

#1132550 - 11/17/17 06:18 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
swestern Offline
Serious Contributor
swestern  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
South Lyon, Michigan
Michael, David, Deej,
Lots of great feedback, thank you for your time and effort.
This was a group effort as all my work is, the lyrics were mine but the music and production was by Jay at Bottlerockit Prod.
Thanks again to all of you,
Skip

#1132554 - 11/17/17 08:59 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 500
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 500
Virginia
Solid Christian song without resorting to being preachy. I liked it.

The vocals are good, and the music bed is well performed/programmed.

The production is decent if not stellar. I thought the instruments were a bit muddy and could use a bit of EQ. The shaker volume could be more dynamic as the song progresses. The lead vocals are way too upfront, and the harmonies could be a bit louder in relation (although bringing the lead vocals back might resolve that issue nicely).

Overall, it sounds good!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
#1132645 - 11/20/17 09:57 AM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,656
E Swartz Offline
E Swartz  Offline

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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,656
Ohio
Skip,

What a sweet song here........I liked just about everything about this song--sounded pretty well balanced from my headphones, and yeah the vocals (for me) were dominant and out front where I think they should be with this song. This IMO is certainly a fine enough production for a demo. I like the lyrics being a little clever and having to listen a few times to get the complete drift. I must confess, I'm not sure however what the bridge is implying exactly.

Liked the claps for percussion but especially liked the vocalist--great vocal tone for sure, and very current sounding! Nice write!

steady-eddie

#1132761 - 11/24/17 11:33 AM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
swestern Offline
Serious Contributor
swestern  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
South Lyon, Michigan
Thank you TC, for giving this a listen and commenting.
I like the vocals up front because these old ears of mine sometimes have a hard time differentiating words if the vocals are receded, and of course as a lyricist, I value those a little more.
Thanks again,
Skip

#1132765 - 11/24/17 12:09 PM Re: I Want More [Re: swestern]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
swestern Offline
Serious Contributor
swestern  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 184
South Lyon, Michigan
steady-eddie,
Actually I had a couple different thoughts when considering the bridge. One being, "The truth about me is Father" referring to the Old Testament law and "The truth about my love is Mother" meaning the New Testament love so the third line stating "Walk through your desert' again referring to how God allowed his people to wander and feel abandoned for their ultimate good in the OT and the last portion, "as I thirst for you" recalling some of Christ's final words in the NT about the depth of love He has for us. This idea sets up the final line where God wants us to thirst for Him as much as He thirsts for us.

Another thought I had was that a loving Father doesn't necessarily give his child everything they may "want" and a loving Mother will always want what's best for her children so God, having both a Father's nature and a Mother's love, is allowing the singer to walk through the desert until he recalls the thirst he once had for being close to God.

Thanks again for your thoughts,
Skip


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