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#1128747 - 06/28/17 07:23 PM Being There  
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Drifter Offline
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Drifter  Offline
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Hey, All! I just got done with this one. I've only got an acoustic guitar track with the vocals so, yeah, it needs drums, bass, electric guitar and maybe some pedal steel. Thoughts?

Being There

Being There
02/09/17 David Arthur

V1

I see the tears in her eyes
Cause she's so close to me
She won't talk to anyone else
Even her own family
I don't know why she stays with him
It's such a mystery
I hope she gets the courage soon
To walk away and be free

Ch

He never does the little things
To thank her for the true love he's found
I guess when it comes to being there
She's the only one around

V2

I hear her cry out at night
When she's home alone
She'll stay up late
While he's out on his own
Why does she put herself
Through this time and time again
She's bound to leave him soon
I just don't know how or when

Ch

He never does the little things
To thank her for the true love he's found
I guess when it comes to being there
She's the only one around

Br

I feel helpless not knowing what to do or to say
I've known her since a child there has to be a way
Maybe when she gets out on her own
Maybe she'll find
If she stayed any longer she'd go out of her mind

Ch

He never does the little things
To thank her for the true love he's found
I guess when it comes to being there
She's the only one around
It's so hard standing by not wanting to see
Specially when I know she's such a part of me
And when it comes to being there
For her I'll always be around

Last edited by Drifter; 07/05/17 07:46 PM. Reason: Calvin's sugg & TY!

"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." - Bob Dylan

"A song is anything that can walk by itself." - Bob Dylan

Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/davidjacksonsongwriter

Soundclick:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1079737
#1128750 - 06/28/17 10:01 PM Re: Being There [Re: Drifter]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,183
Sunset Poet Online content
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Sunset Poet  Online Content
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,183
Houston, Texas
Beautiful sound. Heartfelt and relatable write.

Martin

#1128810 - 07/03/17 10:28 AM Re: Being There [Re: Drifter]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Lovely sound...commercially it need to have hook, repeated several times.

Maybe have this as the end of each chorus (with some editing)
"And when it comes to being there
For her I'll always be around"

#1128837 - 07/04/17 10:58 PM Re: Being There [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Drifter Offline
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Drifter  Offline
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Lovely sound...commercially it need to have hook, repeated several times.

Maybe have this as the end of each chorus (with some editing)
"And when it comes to being there
For her I'll always be around"
Hey Neil! Thanks for stopping by and for the sugg. I see where it could be worked in at the end of each chorus. The only thing is I don't think it would be as effective used that way.


"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." - Bob Dylan

"A song is anything that can walk by itself." - Bob Dylan

Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/davidjacksonsongwriter

Soundclick:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1079737
#1128846 - 07/05/17 02:04 AM Re: Being There [Re: Drifter]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,372
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,372
Drifter,

Awesome guitar work, polished tune. Sweet vocals, subtle but rich harmonies--sweet on the ear. On my first listen, I thought the ending was maybe a bit abrupt, but on the second (and third) listen it seemed right. This is as deserving for radio play as anything I hear these days. Great listen!

Regards,

Deej

#1128853 - 07/05/17 04:21 AM Re: Being There [Re: Drifter]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello David,

Nicely done, good vocals !

this part is REAL CATCHY, but I'm not sure IF you need the last 2 lines.......

He never does the little things
To thank her for the true love he's found
I guess when it comes to being there
She's the only one around
It's so hard standing by not wanting to see
Her living a life of misery

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1128872 - 07/05/17 07:50 PM Re: Being There [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Drifter Offline
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Drifter  Offline
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Originally Posted by Calvin
Hello David,

Nicely done, good vocals !

this part is REAL CATCHY, but I'm not sure IF you need the last 2 lines.......

He never does the little things
To thank her for the true love he's found
I guess when it comes to being there
She's the only one around
It's so hard standing by not wanting to see
Her living a life of misery

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

You are 100% right Calvin & I made the change you suggested. Thank you, Sir!


"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." - Bob Dylan

"A song is anything that can walk by itself." - Bob Dylan

Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/davidjacksonsongwriter

Soundclick:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1079737
#1128878 - 07/06/17 12:46 PM Re: Being There [Re: Drifter]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,944
Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,944
NASHVILLE, TN
Drifter--

A fine song my friend, I'm feeling the emotion in this one-

I agree that the ch would be stronger with a driving, echoing BEING THERE--Could even have an INTRO with BEING THERE

Write on--

Mackie

#1128899 - 07/07/17 06:44 PM Re: Being There [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Drifter Offline
Top 500 Poster
Drifter  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Originally Posted by Mackie H.
Drifter--

A fine song my friend, I'm feeling the emotion in this one-

I agree that the ch would be stronger with a driving, echoing BEING THERE--Could even have an INTRO with BEING THERE

Write on--

Mackie

Hey, Mackie! Thanks for your comments and suggs. Echoing? Hmmm...that's interesting. I'll have to play around with this one a bit.


"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." - Bob Dylan

"A song is anything that can walk by itself." - Bob Dylan

Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/davidjacksonsongwriter

Soundclick:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1079737
#1128920 - 07/09/17 09:56 AM Re: Being There [Re: Drifter]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice (D) Offline
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Dave Rice (D)  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Texas
Hi David:

I enjoyed my listen and was surprised to see the website where you presented the song. I don't think I've seen that site before... or they have changed up their appearance. Regardless, it is a well-done write and your female vocalist did a great job. Very nice harmonies in all the right places and the simple backing is all it needed to "get your song's story across." Well done. ----Dave


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