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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 62
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Hey guys, new little song I've been working on. Would appreciate any feedback I Will Be Everything Lyrics: My fortune is nothing As I have asked for Nothing to hold everything My mountains are clouds That rise with the wind Moving and always changing A wordless thought is where I come from A needless need for knowing A timeless time is where you will find Me when you're not listening When you are not listening Forget the fires and forget the floods Face the sun and see everything Turn with the tides and learn from the skies I will be there I will be everything A fortunate man Came bowing his head He offered me price to stay He needed to know Where the good ones would go Alone was all I come say A wordless thought is where I come from A needless need for knowing A timeless time is where you will find Me when you're not listening When you are not listening Forget the fires and forget the floods Face the sun and see everything Turn with the tides and learn from the skies I will be there I will be everything Everything So Forget the fires and forget the floods Face the sun and see everything Turn with the tides and learn from the skies I will be there I will be everything I will be everything I will be everything
Last edited by NicholasSpoonerRodie; 02/06/16 06:09 PM.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Hi Nicholas,
Your work continues to amaze and delight me.
Your lyrics stand as beautiful, slightly abstract poems, that almost feel like translations of Rumi or Basho. I like how well "a needless to know" makes sense contextually, though it at first appears to be bad grammar--but that's only if one's thinking linearly--but the beauty of your lyrics are that they force open my "direct knowledge" intuitive place that just "gets" what you are saying..
And once again your presentation gets quite an emotional response from me. When the strings and your voice swell and you sing "forget the fires.." it's just so damn beautiful there are no words..
But there are elements here that are detracting--that kick drum isn't working for me, there are places where it's not on any particular beat and sticks out in a bad way. Especially in the beginning and when the strings swell.
And I am usually one to want words pronounced correctly in a song, so "FORget the fires" (and all your "ing" words seem to accent "ing" --like listenING" so these things at first threw me, cuz these are odd ways to hear these words..then I cried "uncle!" as I melted in the beauty of it all..
And your vocals sit more prominently in the mix, and it really feels like you caught an emotional reading of your song, like you are experiencing what you are singing, especially in the string swelling part, and it throws your pitch off a bit--but it's kind of dramatic and cool..though I wonder how a more stoic performance would fare?
At the start, too, when your voice sticks out in the mix, I can hear some pitchy-ness in your singing. Are you still working without a net--direct recordings, singing and playing all-at-once? I imagine if you could sing an isolated vocal your tiny pitch problems would evaporate. It's hard playing and singing something this intricate all-at-once..
While Nick Drake may be what got you to the dance, I feel you have a unique voice inside and are doing things, lyrically, that Drake only hinted at. You are on a short list of artists that I am following closely, cuz you are giving me something I really need in my life. Something with pure, non-linear beauty that makes me have those Ricky Fitt's "American Beauty" moments--a feeling of such intense beauty that I don't think my heart can take it.
Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/06/16 06:02 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Jan 2015
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Hey Mike,
Thank you so much for the listen and suggestions! I definitely did try and bring my voice up in this one, but not being a great singer, I was pretty self conscious. That's why I decided to include the kick drum. You are right though, listening back it doesn't really fit haha
I did try and take a different direction with this one. Was listening to a lot of Jackson C Frank, Sandy Denny and Tom Waits at the time, which probably played a role in the more abstract lyrics. Really glad you enjoyed it though!
-Nick
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Hey Mike,
Thank you so much for the listen and suggestions! I definitely did try and bring my voice up in this one, but not being a great singer, I was pretty self conscious. That's why I decided to include the kick drum. You are right though, listening back it doesn't really fit haha
I did try and take a different direction with this one. Was listening to a lot of Jackson C Frank, Sandy Denny and Tom Waits at the time, which probably played a role in the more abstract lyrics. Really glad you enjoyed it though!
-Nick I'll have to listen to Jackson C Frank--don't know that artist. As to Waits and Denny--two of my all-time favorite artists.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 62
Serious Contributor
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 62 |
Definitely check him out! He's really quite overlooked. His only album was produced by a young Paul Simon, and his songs have been covered by many of my favourites like Nick Drake, Simon & Garfunkel, Bert Jansch and Fairport Convention!
Last edited by NicholasSpoonerRodie; 02/06/16 06:44 PM.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
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Finally someone who knows of Jackson Frank, other than me. Blues Run the Game is one of my all time faves, with great covers from almost everyone from Simon & Garfunkel to the Counting Crows. Anyway, back to your song. Loving the guitar. Agree the kick drum seems misplaced. The guitar is so good. One thing I noticed and it is tough to remedy when recording acoustics is the background noise and hand and finger noise as they navigate across the neck. I heard some in your recording but not enough to distract from my complete envy on your writing and playing. Really enjoyable stuff.
Dave
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Joined: Jan 2015
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Hey Dave,
Thank you so much for the listen suggestions! I'd be really interested in learning how to eliminate some of that background noise for the next one. I'm not working with a very good mic, but I'm sure there are some things I could do to minimize it.
-nick
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