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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
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I want to share a song that I'm more than happy with. I was so pleased to see Mike Zaneski returning to the forum, where he'd been very active in the past. And when I saw the offer of his excellent services, I jumped on board. Here's the first song Mike has done for me. Along with the lyric, I sent a vocal melody guideline as an Audacity file. He was free of course to enhance/adjust/change the melody where he saw fit. I'm delighted with the result. Hearing my original melody in the song is a special thrill for me, and Mike's informed and intuitive enhancements have given it extra pizzazz. I wrote the lyric during FAWM this year, and hoped I'd find someone to musicify it. Mike went above and beyond the call of duty, spending time to get every single aspect the way we both felt worked well. (He also sent me an instrumental version. The link is at the bottom of this post.) The present song is acoustic, but I also have a piano-bass-drums version. (Link at the bottom of post.) Mike has certainly given me plenty to get on with. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy: Depends on the Moonhttp://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13131808Depends on the Moon I love the challenge Of your changing moods I moonwalk in circles Around them I like to tease And bring your blues to their knees …Never leave things The way I found them Pre-chorus But despite my silly games There's nothing I'd change Chorus Our daily loving forecast Depends on the moon Low tide in the morning Squalls mid-afternoon Or turbulent seas at bedtime …It all depends on the moon V2 I love the mystery Of your secret dreams The way you keep smiling About them I play the clown Pretend to twist them around …Though the truth is I'd be lost without them Pre-chorus So although it might seem strange There's nothing I'd change Chorus Our daily loving forecast Depends on the moon Low tide in the morning Squalls mid-afternoon Or turbulent seas at bedtime …It all depends on the moon Bridge When you're in eccentric orbit I don't know what will unfold But I love how you and the moon Can never be controlled Chorus Our daily loving forecast Depends on the moon Low tide in the morning Squalls mid-afternoon Or turbulent seas at bedtime …It all depends on the moon © 2015 Donna Devine INSTRUMENTAL VERSIONDepends on the Moonhttp://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13131809PIANO-DRUMS-BASS VERSION http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13131838
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
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Posts: 690 |
Very cool. GREAT piano. Vocals are very nice too.
fist verse and pre are perfect.
I think the chorus just has too many words to flow the way I would like it to. Not so with the verses!
Interesting that the word "I'd" is changed to "I would" which is a good call in the first pre. I actually think the way it is sung that "I'd" might work better in the second pre. I also don't think it has to be the same in both. Change it up if it feels right.
Bridge is awesome! I would prefer less words in the third line but personal preference...
This song is near perfect. I would work on the chorus until it flows better and becomes more memorable to sing along with.
I would change the bridge slightly but what you have is honestly great.
Awesome work. Congrats!
Ricky
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171 Likes: 8
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171 Likes: 8 |
Great song all around, loved the FAWM write and happy to hear Donna's melody idea.
The pronunciation of "dream" in the song seems off to me but the vocal overall is lovely and congrats on those high notes, they are done really well.
Very nice and relaxing song, love the genre for the write, great collab!
Tammy
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3 |
o`man Donna that is so cool, growing up I listened to all kinds of jazz players and singers this took me right back to that time, and what a great time it was, I`ll drop a couple of names...Herbie Mann, Wes Montgomery, Nancy Wilson. and the great ELLA. I really like this. Mike is super in this, and went all out it sounds to me, I can`t do anything but give this top marks. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Donna and Mike,
Connick and Buble can move on over! This is way smooth. Just excellent write and production. Congrats!
Ricki
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 938
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 938 |
Hey you two:
Great tune, dark sunglasses cool!!
Well written Donna, and Mike you are a real talent man!
Cheers Paul
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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well i was gonna say also,move over Harry Connick Jr.!A real smooth workout!I enjoyed it!Mike
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2 |
Hi Donna & Mike, Hey, this is such a smoooth song....Really wonderful all around. Donna, it’s so good to see a FAWM song in all its glory! I like this lyric....how you compare the moon’s influence to their relationship and how the chorus describes it visually. The verse lines are so playful and I like the light, airy feel about it both lyrically and musically. I think both lyric and melody beautifully show how they get lost in the romance. You did a fine job here! 
 And that piano! Hey...it sure does some cool twinkling! Mike, you’ve really brought this alive giving it shimmer and shine! The vocal sounds so smooth....you hit those high notes with ease! It was fun to listen to those other versions (links) as well....great production...very cool you have those too, Donna. Excellent work! I wish you the best with it! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Not one single nit, Donna:
Mr. Z did a wonderful job on this classy number... bringing out every nuance of your well-penned lyric. Great job, you two. Enjoyed. ----Dave
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Thanks all, I appreciate the kind words. Bringing Donna's guide vocals and elegant lyric to life was so much fun. Tammy, long e followed by a closed-mouth consonant are the bane of many a singer's existence. With "dreams," unless one closes ones lips like a guillotine after initiating the "ee", some "ih" gets into the mix. Try slowly closing your lips after "EE" and before the "m" of "dream," Lazy lips (not my nickname, I swear) work well with this kinda jazz number, and that was my thinking, but ya gotta watch them dreams and schemes. Nice catch! Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/30/15 09:14 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 630
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Posts: 630 |
Well guys, that worked out so well. Very nice musical effort, Mike. Dave
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Donna and Mike,
DELIGHTFUL song! It makes me want to go to some swanky, classy nightclub, order a fashionable drink ... and just sit and enjoy the live performance of this!
I got a kick out of how Mike was HOWLING at the moon at the very end! Nice touch!
Lisa
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 435
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I especially loved the piano on this, really smooth playing. The vocals fit in really well with the vibe as well. Great work on this, I really enjoyed the listen! Good luck with this
Kyle
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
Donna and Mike Z--
You two are a naturals--It already sounds like a CLASSIC to me. Good luck with this one! I love it!
Mackie
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2 |
Thank you so much, everyone, for your kind comments. Mike did a stellar job here for sure. Donna
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Hey guys,
Nice work, reminds me of some of the early 80's soft jazz. No nits. This music makes me want to go to the city where I can hear some good live jazz........I'm drinking a beer right now, probably should change to a vodka/tonic with this vibe......
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,190 Likes: 30
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,190 Likes: 30 |
So cool Donna & Mike! I can appreciate the piano playing (and vocal). Lyrics are great - original "moon" addition to all the standard "moons" of the past. Great team! Best, John
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 26
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 26 |
Great Instrumental. I couldn't find the sung version. Perhaps cause there isnt one yet?
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