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UPDATE: Douglas and I are delighted that Floyd Jane took an interest in this and did his AWESOME thing with it! It's posted on the MP3 forum, and it's now called "Headaches and Heartaches!" I completely forgot to update this thread! Here's the link to the thread at the MP3 forum. THANKS! Lisa

Please take a listen when you can...
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/1048136/page/1#Post1048136



Hi Everyone,
Douglas has put this to music now and I'm delighted by it! He did a really COOL job with it -- thanks so much Douglas!
Thanks to everyone for their help! And Dave Whitehead -- thanks for the "chuckles to spare;" and for suggesting switching the jokes and the money lines in verse 1; the jokes "they" kept cracking instead of "you"; making it more clear who was causing the headaches; and making it clear that peace is "now" here!
Here's the link to the song on the MP3 forum!
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/1047571/page/1#Post1047571
Lisa

May 6 Update:
Hey Everyone -- thanks for all the help and input many of you have given on this! We played around with every idea that was given to us, and we incorporated some of the changes in this version, along with new ones that were inspired by your comments, even if we didn't get to use them! What do you think?! Thanks so much! -- Lisa

Since You Said We Were Through ( rewrite #2)

V]
Your music would blare. so I'd close my book
When your friends came to party I'd give you the look
All the jokes they kept cracking weren't very funny
Your pals were all losers, they only wanted your money

[CLIMB]
You were giving me headaches day after day
Thought my head would stop hurting when you went away

[C]
Now don't get me wrong, it all wasn't bad
I should have hung on to the good times we had
Thought my head would stop hurtin' that much is true
Thought my head would stop hurtin' once you said we were through

[V]
You'd think I'd be happy with the peace that's now here
Got through a whole library since you left last year
Been saving up laughter with chuckles to spare
And it's quiet but lonely without you here

[CLIMB]
Now you've giving me heartaches day after day
'Cause my heart started hurtin' when you went away

[C]
Now don't get me wrong I know I'm to blame
My heart still hangs on as it calls out your name
Yes my heart has been hurtin' that much is true
Yes my heart keeps on hurtin' since you said we were through

(c) 2014, Douglas Murphy and Lisa Gundling

OLDER VERSIONS
Douglas made some AWESOME changes to this, so this is a rewrite with his changes -- they're in ALL CAPS! I made one change, underlined. THANKS, DOUGLAS!!

UPDATE: I'm delighted that this is now a co-write with Douglas!

Since You Said We Were Through (rewrite)

[V]
Your music WOULD BLARE.
SO I'D CLOSE my book.
When your friends came to party
I'D GIVE you the look.
Your pals seemed like losers,
WHO ONLY WANTED YOUR money.
All the jokes you kept cracking
WEREN’T VERY funny.

[CLIMB]
I kept getting headaches
Day after day
But my head has stopped hurting
Since you went away.

[CHORUS]
Now don't get me wrong,
IT ALL WASN'T BAD.
I'LL STILL HANG ON
TO THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD.
But my head has stopped hurtin'
THAT MUCH IS TRUE.
YES. MY HEAD HAS STOPPED HURTIN'.
Since you said we were through

[V]
You'd think I'd be happy
WITH THE peace I HAVE here.
Got to read the whole bible
since you left last year.
I've been saving up laughter
with money to spare
And it's quiet enough
without love anywhere.

[CLIMB] (w/change)
I'M STILL getting heartaches
Day after day
And my heart STILL IS hurting.
SINCE YOU went away

[C]
Now don't get me wrong,
IT'S NOT BEEN THE SAME.
'CAUSE MY HEART IS STILL HURTIN'
WHEN I CALL OUT YOUR NAME.
YES. MY heart keeps on hurtin'
THAT MUCH IS TRUE.
YES. MY HEART HAS BEEN HURTIN'.
Since you said we were through

(c) 2014, Douglas Murphy, Lisa Gundling


ORIGINAL VERSION
Since You Said We Were Through

Your music kept blaring
while I read my book
When your friends came to party
I gave you the look
I called your pals losers
when you gave them money
All the jokes you kept cracking
didn't seem funny

CHORUS
I kept getting headaches
Day after day
But my head has stopped hurting
Since you went away
Now don't get me wrong
I will always love you
But my head has stopped hurting
Since you said we were through

You'd think I'd be happy
in peace around here
Got to read the whole bible
since you left last year
I've been saving up laughter
with money to spare
And it's quiet enough
without love anywhere

CHORUS (w/change)
I keep getting heartaches
Day after day
And my heart started hurting
When you went away
Now don't get me wrong
It's hard living with you
But my heart keeps on hurting
Since you said we were through

(c) 2014, Lisa Gundling

Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 05/30/14 08:00 PM.
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Lisa, Your lyric reminds me of the distance between the heart and the head, between emotion and reason and the constant inner conflict between the two on the battlefield of this thing we call romantic love. You can't live together, you can't live alone - how true the old cliche often is. All you have to do is look around at friends and family and you're bound to find examples.

You've captured the spirit of this human dilemma in song. Very well done. Keep writing!


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
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Hi Dan,

What an eloquent analysis of what's going on here -- thank you! Yes, a variation of this is played out in many lives, every day.

By the way...I'm making my way through that book, and I'll display my ignorance here, but I don't know how Little Crow died. I don't want to look it up, because it will ruin the suspense of the book for me. BUT, if one of those 38 nooses is for him...I am not going to like that ending. I know it's not fiction, but STILL....

Thanks again for your cool analysis!
Lisa




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Hey Lisa,

I just thought of an old song from the 70's I think.

"I've looked at love from both sides now", don't know the title, but this song, like Dan said, goes thru all those emotions!! Awesome!

Geneva

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Hello Lisa. If I may? [And I hope know one is taking offense to me "playing" with their lyrics these days. I am just trying to get away from the typical critiques I do like. "Good etc.., ] smile

douglas

Since You Said We Were Through

[V]
Your music WOULD BLARE.
SO I'D CLOSE my book.
When your friends came to party
I'D GIVE you the look.
Your pals WERE ALL losers,
WHO ONLY WANTED YOUR money.
All the jokes you kept cracking
WEREN’T VERY funny.

[CLIMB]
I kept getting headaches
Day after day
But my head has stopped hurting
Since you went away.

[CHORUS]
Now don't get me wrong,
IT ALL WASN'T BAD.
I'LL STILL HANG ON
TO THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD.
But my head has stopped hurtin'
THAT MUCH IS TRUE.
YES. MY HEAD HAS STOPPED HURTIN'.
Since you said we were through

[V]
You'd think I'd be happy
WITH THE peace I HAVE here.
Got to read the whole bible
since you left last year.
I've been saving up laughter
with money to spare
And it's quiet enough
without love anywhere.

[CLIMB] (w/change)
I'M STILL getting heartaches
Day after day
And my heart STILL IS hurting.
SINCE YOU went away

[C]
Now don't get me wrong,
IT'S NOT BEEN THE SAME.
'CAUSE MY HEART IS STILL HURTIN'
WHEN I CALL OUT YOUR NAME.
YES. MY heart keeps on hurtin'
THAT MUCH IS TRUE.
YES. MY HEART HAS BEEN HURTIN'.
Since you said we were through

(c) 2014, Lisa Gundling


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

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The couple in this song are obviously incompatible. She may feel a trace of guilt since he went away, but that's all it is. She's doesn't love him and is glad to be free.

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Hey Lisa
I enjoyed reading this immensely. Although I've never been in that situation were you miss someone so badly. I've often been accused of being heartless, maybe they were right.

Peace
Joe

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Great lyrics, I would love to hear the final version set to music.


I'd rather save memories not money
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Great lyrics, I would love to hear the final version set to music.


I'd rather save memories not money
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Great lyrics, I would love to hear the final version set to music.


I'd rather save memories not money
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Hi Geneva,

Yes -- I know what song you're talking about but I can't think of the title either! I'm so glad you like this -- THANKS for stopping by!

Lisa

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Both Sides Now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrEqIpi6sg

Judy Collins had the original hit but this is Joni singing it.

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Hi Douglas,

Thank you for your GREAT changes! I thought I was going to get to this earlier today, but things got busy and I didn't get the chance. I'm going to use most of your changes and there are just a few nuances in meaning that I wanted to work out. I'll be back to work on this and post the changes.

THANKS so much for your cool edits! It's awesome of you to sit down with your guitar and try to sing it -- that's a lot of work and I thank you for it!
Lisa

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No problem Lisa. Keep me in the loop and maybe once you are happy with it you can get me the melody and we can see what comes out of this.

douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

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Hey Lisa, stopping by just to share a thought... looks like another good'n. smile

End of verse #1
Your pals were all losers,
for your money they'd call.
And the jokes you kept cracking
weren't funny at all.

Start of Chorus #1
Now don't get me wrong,
it wasn't all bad.
I still hold deer,
the good times we had.

All the best with it...

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Hi Again, Douglas,

THANKS!! And I'm DELIGHTED that you've taken this one under your wing now!!

Lisa

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Hi JIm,

You'd make an excellent psychotherapist! You'd have your patients in and out so fast, their heads would be spinning! They'd all be cured after one visit! laughing!

Thanks for the analysis of this pair!

Also, I'm delighted to say that this is now a collab with Douglas!

Thanks!
Lisa

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Hi Joe,

If you've been accused of being heartless -- just go to Jim Colyer and he'll straighten you right up-- laughing!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this! THANKS!!

Lisa

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Hi Eddy,

There is a chance it will be heard, now that Douglas has become involved!
Thanks so much for your nice visit!

Lisa

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Hi Terry,

YES -- that's the song! Thanks for the link! I love watching those old videos, when performers looked so real and natural and fresh!

Lisa

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Hi Nelson,
Thanks so much for great suggestions and nice visit! Douglas is working this one out now, so I'll leave your ideas in his capable hands!
Lisa



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Hi Lisa; long time no communicate.

I'll let you and Douglas take my suggestions under advisement.

The first verse:
Your music WOULD BLARE.
SO I'D CLOSE my book.
When your friends came to party
I'D GIVE you the look.
Your pals seemed like losers,
WHO ONLY WANTED YOUR money.
All the jokes you kept cracking
WEREN’T VERY funny.


Since it's a more serious song, I would put the heavy "money" line last.

Your music WOULD BLARE.
SO I'D CLOSE my book.
When your friends came to party
I'D GIVE you the look.
All the jokes they kept cracking
Weren't very funny.
Your pals were all losers,
They ONLY WANTED YOUR money.

I kept getting headaches

Or, maybe "You gave me headaches" (to indicate it was when you two were together. Otherwise, we don't know that until the "since you went away" line.)

You'd think I'd be happy
WITH THE peace I HAVE here.


"With the peace that's now here" (Putting a time-stamp on it.)

I've been saving up laughter
with money to spare


"...with chuckles to spare" (I like the "laughter" line, but then it morphed into "money". So, maybe...?

WHEN I CALL OUT YOUR NAME.
YES. MY heart keeps on hurtin'
THAT MUCH IS TRUE.
YES. MY HEART HAS BEEN HURTIN'.
Since you said we were through


"I still call out your name. (It sounds more mournful.)
Yes, my head has stopped hurtin'" (To tie in the previous chorus)
That much is true.
But my heart keeps on hurtin' (aching?)
Since you said we were through."

Dave smile

Last edited by Dave Whitehead; 04/25/14 12:24 AM.
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IT ALL WASN'T BAD in the chorus would perhaps flow better if you juggled it a bit too WASN'T ALL BAD? Or am I nick picking or even pick nicking?
Been away for a week in sunny Spain.A place of sun sea and lively pickpockets.
Hope you have a good weekend
TRavis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Dave,

You always have really great, thoughtful edits -- thank you! Your thought process behind putting the money line at the end of verse one is a really good one. Well, your thought process throughout is all good! Doug is working out the music, and we'll discuss your ideas!

THANKS so much for your help!
Lisa

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Hey Travis,

Nice to see you back from Sunny Spain!!! You sound relaxed!
Thanks for your idea on that line -- we'll discuss that, too!
Always feel free to pick away!
Lisa

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When your music WAS BLARING.
I'D close my book.

You had the right idea in your original, using "blaring".

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Hi Terry,
Thanks so much!
The tense situation in this got kind of confusing, because I originally wrote it in the present tense and as the thing progressed, it ended up in the past tense and...the rest is history -- lol!
Lisa

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When your friends came to party
I'd give you the look.
When your music WAS BLARING.
I'D PUT DOWN my book.

This seems like a better "setup" to me
and eliminates the risk of giving more importance than warranted to "my book".

Terry

P.S.
You mentioned liking honest presentations . . .
Funnily enough I just discovered Connie Smith and I'm blown away! She became a star around 1965 just when me and friends went more to Hendrix and The Doors and all things psychedelic and so I missed appreciating her. But as a kid in the 50's and early 60's I loved certain 50's country songs as much as I loved the Rock and Roll.

To me her songs are quintessential Country in terms of delivery and the country hooks of the lyrics.
Here's one you'll love:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_kkA0Zb6BY

Inspiring interview of her much later:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6DFEhbspIs

Nobody But a Fool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmQHkgovIa8

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I enjoyed this, and also watching the process of collaboration unfold, looks like you've found someone you can work together with; that's awesome.

I felt things flowed better with the redraft, except in the second climb was the reversal of is and still serving a purpose? (i dunno but is still hurting sounds more natural to me, not that it matters too much). Looking forward to hearing it to music!

Thanks for the read,

Rich

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Hi Terry,

Are you suggesting that the Bible should get second billing to "the look?!" laughing! I don't know how far Douglas has gotten with this, but I know he's reviewing all the suggestions, and that's a fine one! Thanks for your additional help!

And thanks for the Connie Smith links! That interview was fascinating! For those who won't get to watch it, I'll mention two interesting things from it:

1. Dolly Parton had said some amazing things about Connie. When Connie was doing promos, her manager wanted to use Dolly's statements. Connie told him not to, because she said that they were off-the-cuff comments Dolly made to someone, and she wouldn't want them used in advertising. Well, Connie's manager called Dolly, and Dolly said, "that's what I said, and I stand by it, so of course you can use my statements!" I think that's really cool of Connie to be so humble!

2. Connie is married to Marty Stuart. She's 17 years older than him. When he was 12 years old, his mother took him to see Connie's performance, and he got to meet her. He later told his mother, "that's the woman I'm going to marry." They met again, years later, and when Marty was 37, and Connie was in her 50s...they married!

Lisa

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Hi Blizzard,
Thanks for your nice visit!
You had me saying the "still is" and "is still" over and over, trying to figure out which sounded more naturally, conversationally. Depending on where I put the accents, I could make it sound natural either way, but it was easier for me to say "is still." Either way Douglas chooses is great with me, but it was an interesting little exercise!
Lisa

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I gave this song a second look, Lisa, since it is getting so many hits. The first verse, climb and chorus left an impression. I think they sum up men and women in this modern age. We are all in our own little worlds. Women are dissatisfied with men and tolerate them as long as they can. Men are primarily interested in sports and getting drunk.

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Hi Lisa,

Speaking of "the Book"
"God gave them a heart to think with"
indicating that the mind and metaphysical heart are one and the same.

CHORUS Ending
. . . . .
But my MIND has stopped hurtin'
That much is true
Yes my HEART has stopped hurtin'
Since you said we were through

Yes my HEART has stopped hurtin'
Since I said goodbye to you.

Which seems to indicate a new title to replace the seriously over-used country hook:
"Since you said we were through"

I mean it's OK to use it but not to build a song around it; i.e., have it the title too.

P.S.
But feel free to scrap or cherry pick.
either way I don't mind

_______________________________

Connie Cont'd

http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/Country/1966/NewChannel.html

Scroll to Connie on the old Wurlitzer and you'll get three hits in succession
starting with Ain't Had No Lovin' . . . love that slide guitar.

Once a Day is in 1965 Juke.

1967 Jukebox
Scroll to Connie
CINCINNATI OHIO
and the up tempo (busy) I'll COME RUNNING

I've been playing Conga/Bongos to these for months -- love 'em.

cheers,
Terry

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Nothing wrong with your original version,

change money to spare
to room to spare, maybe?

enjoyed it
chesterb

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Hi JIm,
Thanks for stopping by again!
I sure hope that your assessment about men and women isn't TOO right, but it often is, I know!
Lisa

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Hi Terry,

Great thought process there with the heart and mind! While the "mind" thing does appeal to me a lot, I really do like the "head" hurting only because I first wrote this when it struck me that three of my friends get headaches all the time and all three of them, at some point, have blamed it on their husbands!

But, just because I have that attachment, it doesn't mean it's best for the song! Since Douglas is working the music out, I'll let him cherry pick away. Thanks for offering wonderful pickings for us to choose from!

Also, thanks for the Connie links -- she's awesome!

That's cool that you've been playing your conga/bongos again!
Lisa

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Hi Chester,

Thank you for your nice visit and suggestions! "Room to spare" is an interesting option. I had the money, referring to the fact that he's no longer giving away her money to his friends, but I guess things don't have to stay that literal. I know that Douglas is looking at all of these suggestions as he works on the music.
Thanks!
Lisa

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Judy Collins was mentioned by earlier Lisa,she did a concert in my new town just before Christmas in a small hall which was packed.She sang Both Sides Now but didn't do Amazing Grace which disappointed.
Hope you get a collab for the music the lyric has come along nicely and will make a good song.
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hey Travis,
Douglas is doing the music for this!!
That's cool that you saw Judy Collins! That is disappointing about not hearing "Amazing Grace." I can NEVER get enough of hearing "Amazing Grace" -- no matter who sings it!!
Thanks for stopping by!
Lisa

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Just wanted to let you know I am still getting ready to make a simple demo. This cold is still hanging on and now it is a nagging cough. Hopefully I will be able to get something down.


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

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Hey Douglas,
Please take your time and I hope you feel better soon!
Hey -- maybe now would be a good time to write a song about having a cold, and then you could sing it with authentic coughs and stuffiness!!
Lisa

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Hey Everyone -- thanks for all the help and input many of you have given on this! We played around with every idea that was given to us, and we incorporated some of the changes in this version (posted above), along with new ones that were inspired by your comments, even if we didn't get to use them! What do you think?! Thanks so much! -- Lisa

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Well done Lisa! Commercial compatibility. Give me a nudge when it gets musicated.

Best, John smile

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Hi John,

I missed seeing your comment!
Thanks so much -- I'm delighted you like it!
I'll give you a whack when Doug's finished with it! smile
Thanks!!
Lisa

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Hi Everyone,
Douglas has put this to music now and I'm delighted by it! He did a really COOL job with it -- thanks so much Douglas!
Thanks to everyone for their help! And Dave Whitehead -- thanks for the "chuckles to spare;" and for suggesting switching the jokes and the money lines in verse 1; the jokes "they" kept cracking instead of "you"; making it more clear who was causing the headaches; and making it clear that peace is "now" here! We used those in the song!
Here's the link to the song on the MP3 forum...
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/1047571/page/1#Post1047571
Lisa

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This is a TERRIFIC lyric, Lis. Love the "progression" in the last line of CH, also. Went over for a listen and I enjoyed Murph's tune. Unfortunately, that is probably not a good thing, since I am listening to P,P, & Mary's greatest hits as I type this. lol

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Hi Frank,
THANKS so much!
I completely forgot to update this thread, though!
Floyd Jane took an interest in the song and did another version!
Douglas and I were DELIGHTED!

Please take a listen when you can...it's now called "Headaches & Heartaches."
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/1048136/page/1#Post1048136

Lisa

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Tried the link twice, but it just takes me to another page with your comments about Floyd. No further link do I see.

OK. See now it's the title.

Last edited by Frank N Furter; 05/31/14 01:58 PM.
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R U KIDDING ME?! I'll tell you one thing. If THIS can't get "placed" with some big shot, then there is absolutely no justice in the world (and I might as well hang it up). Better than 90% of what I hear on the radio. Congrats to all 3 of you!

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Hi Frank,
THANKS so much for your GREAT comments!
And I'm looking forward to the day when we turn on the radio and hear Floyd Jane himself!!
Lisa

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