JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Cappuccino Monday - JJ

High! This is my fourth JPFolks song (you can listen to the others here: When You're Bad, If I Had a Pair of You, and Psychosis )

I had a lot of trouble with this one. It has this manic lovey-dovey, cloyingly feel-good feel that I am not completely happy with. Also the production, while being about as good as amateur-me can get it, still feels all muddy and wrong. On the other hand, there's something cute and likeable about the song that I can't seem to shake.

I'm not easily offended, so go ahead.

Thank you!


https://soundcloud.com/joejohnstun/cappuccino-monday



Cappuccino Monday

I'm taking a chance on
A sunburned sidewalk. Something's gone
From the highlights of my sunrise.
Class A to the candidate catching my eye.
Well, she's catching my smile for the candid camera.
Can't stand the eye-candy, capitalize
This Cappuccino Monday. Got till 10 o'clock sharp and
No time for small talk. Said

We turned our lives upside, downside,
Inside, outside with this love.
Wordless witness, work till with this
Word we'll win this
Whole world well. Willingly sing it with me one more time.

I'm taking a bite right out, right on time.
I'm taking a bite right out of the sun.

She was the cream of the crowd, look at her crouched in the corner
Diva daredevil now double screwed over,
Drove her headstart to hate.
Well, she's crossing all her h's and dropping her a's.
"But I'm gonna give you a taste of my medicine, what’s in
My cup, cause Starbucks don't land you on a star but,
On the canvas of this campus,
I know something that can, quite caffeine free."
And I said, "I'm just a worker bee and you can be the queen, see."

We turned our lives upside, downside,
Inside, outside with this love.
Wordless witness, work till with this
Word we'll win this
Whole world well. Willingly sing it with me one more time.

I'm taking a bite right out, right on time.
I'm taking a bite right out of the

Sunny day cutaway, a funny way to handle
The warning of the story of the midmorning mantle.
"Pack your bag, grab your hat and your sandals.
"Plan for your mama to ignore the scramble."

You can't hide her warming candle,
Neighbor, tell the paper to report the scandal.
Gamble on a chandelier swirl of a girl,
And together we'll light up the world.

She will take this word and make it
Work she'll change this
Whole world well. Willingly, sing it with me one more time.

I'm taking a bite right out, right on time.
Taking a bite right out of the sun.

The lyrics are being over shadowed by the drums and bass...drop them or raise vocals.
Maybe it is my taste, or ears LOL
Not a fan of double parts when they are as rapid as they are.
My 2 cents Canadian

pretty slick lyrics.i like this but it made my ears work overtime keepin' up with the fast rythm.Mike

Joe,

Quite enjoyable. Very musical!

The production is really nice. The vocals need to come up in the mix - they are a tad "hidden"...

floyd

well i'll be dang,your song is the only one that will play for me from soundcloud,nobody elses will,what's up with that i wonder.I'm glad i like this song!!!Mike

I had to check this one out since I have released a CD called cappuccino and the word is in three of my songs.

You are a good songwriter and lyricist! The lyrics are well written and the melody and arrangement are fun and interesting.

The mixing? - not so good!!! You have too much going on at any one time. The snare is overwhelming and the bass is too loud making it muddy. I would pull back the snare and bass a lot. Carve out some space in the verses by cutting out different instruments on different verses. Bring everything in on the choruses, but not the point of drowning the vocals and lyrics.

Leave the lead vocals centered but move the other instruments (except bass and kick drum) off to the sides more, leaving the vocals space in the stereo field. Harmony vocals should be off center but not all the way to the left or right.

All my opinion. There are thousands of ways to mix to taste......

Hi There,

This is really a fun, Jason Mraz-esque song. Very bouncy and happy...it just made my morning! :-)

Just a suggestion on your chorus - as the song is called "Cappuccino Monday", I would suggest trying to squeeze that phrase into your chorus with the a short explanation as to why it's a cappuccino Monday. I don't feel that your chorus has hit in on the head quite yet.

Good luck with this and nice work!

Happy writing,

Karen

NeilCotton, FloydJane: yes, I'm hearing that a lot about the low vox. I'm raising them a bit. Thanks!

Michael LeBlanc: Yeah! It's really supposed to twist your ears in a knot haha.

ColinWard: Thank you so much! Those are great tips.

Karen: hahahhahahaha.....I think it may be easier to change the title than to squeeze a completely unrelated part into a chorus that literally has fewer than 10 words. Sometimes people put the chorus title in parentheses.


JJ.

A good song which set my feet tapping,that's one indication that I go for.Lyrically and musically very strong, a good vocal too.
Best of luck with it
Travis